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DeadMeat123

DeadMeat123

Member
Jul 10, 2026
28
I ws supposed to do ctb but I overlooked a crucial point when I hanged myself the rope was attached to a door above my wardrobe but when I knelt the rope started rubbing against the edge of the wardrobe door. I don't know how to explain it well but simply put after a short while the rope was cut because of this and I unfortunately regained consciousness. But hey I'll take this opportunity to explain in detail what it felt like. When I put the rope in and knelt didn't feel any suffocation.
What I felt was a gradual rise with a sensation of heat in my face and of course the same feeling of pressure on my neck within seconds I felt my consciousness fading
I feel saying "felt" here is inaccurate because you lose your sense of being altogether. I felt exactly the same feeling of being unable to determine where you are when you suddenly get up after a long period of inactivity less dizziness but the same absence of self and place. for a while, I was in a state close to sleep then suddenly I opened my eyes with 0% control over my body I was lying on the floor rolling violently and making involuntary movements and my consciousness was nonexistent still confused and don't understand what's happening, but it stopped. After I regained consciousness, I felt extremely thirsty and my mouth was dry. Other than that everything was fairly normal. It's worth noting that I took some ibuprofen and atenolol (in high dosess.but within the normal range), so perhaps that's also relieving the pain. This is the second time I've failed to hang myself, but I think next time I'll be able to avoid this mistake and buy a stronger rope. Also, I've reduced my attempts and ordered some SN as a Plan B, although I still prefer to hang myself because, as I mentioned earlier, I didn't feel much pain and according to @2ndme's posts (may she rest in peace) SN seems to be scary but i orderd it as a plan B anyway
It should be noted that I am also coughing up some blood now I think the rope caused injuries inside my throat
I ws supposed to do ctb but I overlooked a crucial point when I hanged myself the rope was attached to a door above my wardrobe but when I knelt the rope started rubbing against the edge of the wardrobe door. I don't know how to explain it well but simply put after a short while the rope was cut because of this and I unfortunately regained consciousness. But hey I'll take this opportunity to explain in detail what it felt like. When I put the rope in and knelt didn't feel any suffocation.
What I felt was a gradual rise with a sensation of heat in my face and of course the same feeling of pressure on my neck within seconds I felt my consciousness fading
I feel saying "felt" here is inaccurate because you lose your sense of being altogether. I felt exactly the same feeling of being unable to determine where you are when you suddenly get up after a long period of inactivity less dizziness but the same absence of self and place. for a while, I was in a state close to sleep then suddenly I opened my eyes with 0% control over my body I was lying on the floor rolling violently and making involuntary movements and my consciousness was nonexistent still confused and don't understand what's happening, but it stopped. After I regained consciousness, I felt extremely thirsty and my mouth was dry. Other than that everything was fairly normal. It's worth noting that I took some ibuprofen and atenolol (in high dosess.but within the normal range), so perhaps that's also relieving the pain. This is the second time I've failed to hang myself, but I think next time I'll be able to avoid this mistake and buy a stronger rope. Also, I've reduced my attempts and ordered some SN as a Plan B, although I still prefer to hang myself because, as I mentioned earlier, I didn't feel much pain and according to @2ndme's posts (may she rest in peace) SN seems to be scary but i orderd it as a plan B anyway
It should be noted that I am also coughing up some blood now I think the rope caused injuries inside my throat
Update:The SN might arrive today I ordered it a few days ago. If I decide to use CTB through it I will document the symptoms I am experiencing here to help future members, maybe this is the last good thing i can do in this world
Yeah i think i damaged my throat Dx
 
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100memoryleaks

100memoryleaks

I'm sorry sweetie, I miss you
Jul 6, 2026
210
sorry about the damage to your throat, sounds rough
 
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DeadMeat123

DeadMeat123

Member
Jul 10, 2026
28
It's not that bad. There was pain for the first hour similar to what comes with tonsillitis, but it subsided quickly and now I don't feel much pain. There's a noticeable mark on my neck but I think I can hide it.
 
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V

victim4

Member
Apr 18, 2025
20
I feel sorry for your experience. May I ask which part of a neck did you place the noose? I failed my last attempt last year just like you (noose got untied), and I am having trouble finding a spot where I can get fainted. I never get fainted but feel high pressure on the head, and when I try to find the spot with hands without noose I keep coughing.
 
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DeadMeat123

DeadMeat123

Member
Jul 10, 2026
28
I feel sorry for your experience. May I ask which part of a neck did you place the noose? I failed my last attempt last year just like you (noose got untied), and I am having trouble finding a spot where I can get fainted. I never get fainted but feel high pressure on the head, and when I try to find the spot with hands without noose I keep coughing.
I think it varies from person to person,
and the size of the rope makes a difference. Smaller ropes, for example are harder to use and slower to cause unconsciousness unless you apply strong pressure. But if you want to be sure, I recommend practicing with just a towel wrap it around your neck and test the pressure.
 
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victim4

Member
Apr 18, 2025
20
Thank you. I hope you feel better from the attempt.
 
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DignifiedGrave

DignifiedGrave

GrinderofSouls
Jul 5, 2026
99
I feel sorry for your experience. May I ask which part of a neck did you place the noose? I failed my last attempt last year just like you (noose got untied), and I am having trouble finding a spot where I can get fainted. I never get fainted but feel high pressure on the head, and when I try to find the spot with hands without noose I keep coughing.
I got presyncope pretty reliable with my rope of 3/8ths diameter. It think its like cotton and nylon rated for say 1000 to 1200 pounds? I will say, search the front of your neck and off a bit to the right, eventually you should find your pulse. Once you find it just map it to see where the pulse feels strongest and try to get the rope there.
 
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victim4

Member
Apr 18, 2025
20
I got presyncope pretty reliable with my rope of 3/8ths diameter. It think its like cotton and nylon rated for say 1000 to 1200 pounds? I will say, search the front of your neck and off a bit to the right, eventually you should find your pulse. Once you find it just map it to see where the pulse feels strongest and try to get the rope there.
Thank you. For me, seems like it is right next to the Adam's apple where the pulse feels strongest. How about yours?
One time I looked at the police report while doing the research, and it said suiciders could have been under extreme pain because the rope broke their Adam's apple under pressure. The world is not easy for me until the end haha
 
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DeadMeat123

DeadMeat123

Member
Jul 10, 2026
28
I don't think this includes cases of partial suspension. For me its also close to my Adam's apple, but the pressure was enough to make me lose consciousness without putting pressure specifically on it. I think the cases you mentioned were performed haphazardly and without planning. The more you practice this with towels or something similar, the more proficient you'll become and the faster you'll lose consciousness
Thank you. For me, seems like it is right next to the Adam's apple where the pulse feels strongest. How about yours?
One time I looked at the police report while doing the research, and it said suiciders could have been under extreme pain because the rope broke their Adam's apple under pressure. The world is not easy for me until the end haha
 
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0dysseus

0dysseus

Student
Jun 11, 2026
135
I ws supposed to do ctb but I overlooked a crucial point when I hanged myself the rope was attached to a door above my wardrobe but when I knelt the rope started rubbing against the edge of the wardrobe door. I don't know how to explain it well but simply put after a short while the rope was cut because of this and I unfortunately regained consciousness. But hey I'll take this opportunity to explain in detail what it felt like. When I put the rope in and knelt didn't feel any suffocation.
What I felt was a gradual rise with a sensation of heat in my face and of course the same feeling of pressure on my neck within seconds I felt my consciousness fading
I feel saying "felt" here is inaccurate because you lose your sense of being altogether. I felt exactly the same feeling of being unable to determine where you are when you suddenly get up after a long period of inactivity less dizziness but the same absence of self and place. for a while, I was in a state close to sleep then suddenly I opened my eyes with 0% control over my body I was lying on the floor rolling violently and making involuntary movements and my consciousness was nonexistent still confused and don't understand what's happening, but it stopped. After I regained consciousness, I felt extremely thirsty and my mouth was dry. Other than that everything was fairly normal. It's worth noting that I took some ibuprofen and atenolol (in high dosess.but within the normal range), so perhaps that's also relieving the pain. This is the second time I've failed to hang myself, but I think next time I'll be able to avoid this mistake and buy a stronger rope. Also, I've reduced my attempts and ordered some SN as a Plan B, although I still prefer to hang myself because, as I mentioned earlier, I didn't feel much pain and according to @2ndme's posts (may she rest in peace) SN seems to be scary but i orderd it as a plan B anyway
It should be noted that I am also coughing up some blood now I think the rope caused injuries inside my throat

Update:The SN might arrive today I ordered it a few days ago. If I decide to use CTB through it I will document the symptoms I am experiencing here to help future members, maybe this is the last good thing i can do in this world
Yeah i think i damaged my throat Dx
Wow thank you for the vital information. How did the first time failed?
I'm about to CTB with full-suspension, so any of this is even relevant to me?
 
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DeadMeat123

DeadMeat123

Member
Jul 10, 2026
28
T
Wow thank you for the vital information. How did the first time failed?
I'm about to CTB with full-suspension, so any of this is even relevant to me?
The first time i was found and rescued, i was in a short coma and woke up days later
So thats why you really beed a place where you won't be found for a while (around 30 minutes)
 
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wisdom

Member
Jul 16, 2026
45
I also failed CTB but I´m grateful as now I´m better. Maybe you should try recovery for a while as I did, I wanted to try again asap when I failed but eventually I started feeling better.
 
M

milkfloralblackberr

Member
Jun 30, 2026
6
I ws supposed to do ctb but I overlooked a crucial point when I hanged myself the rope was attached to a door above my wardrobe but when I knelt the rope started rubbing against the edge of the wardrobe door. I don't know how to explain it well but simply put after a short while the rope was cut because of this and I unfortunately regained consciousness. But hey I'll take this opportunity to explain in detail what it felt like. When I put the rope in and knelt didn't feel any suffocation.
What I felt was a gradual rise with a sensation of heat in my face and of course the same feeling of pressure on my neck within seconds I felt my consciousness fading
I feel saying "felt" here is inaccurate because you lose your sense of being altogether. I felt exactly the same feeling of being unable to determine where you are when you suddenly get up after a long period of inactivity less dizziness but the same absence of self and place. for a while, I was in a state close to sleep then suddenly I opened my eyes with 0% control over my body I was lying on the floor rolling violently and making involuntary movements and my consciousness was nonexistent still confused and don't understand what's happening, but it stopped. After I regained consciousness, I felt extremely thirsty and my mouth was dry. Other than that everything was fairly normal. It's worth noting that I took some ibuprofen and atenolol (in high dosess.but within the normal range), so perhaps that's also relieving the pain. This is the second time I've failed to hang myself, but I think next time I'll be able to avoid this mistake and buy a stronger rope. Also, I've reduced my attempts and ordered some SN as a Plan B, although I still prefer to hang myself because, as I mentioned earlier, I didn't feel much pain and according to @2ndme's posts (may she rest in peace) SN seems to be scary but i orderd it as a plan B anyway
It should be noted that I am also coughing up some blood now I think the rope caused injuries inside my throat

Update:The SN might arrive today I ordered it a few days ago. If I decide to use CTB through it I will document the symptoms I am experiencing here to help future members, maybe this is the last good thing i can do in this world
Yeah i think i damaged my throat Dx
hope your throat got better. If you don't mind me asking, how much atenolol and paracetamol did you take specifically, and how long did you wait before hanging
 
violetforever

violetforever

Enlightened
Dec 24, 2025
1,135
everyone always makes hanging sound so easy and painless. i guess i need practice. thanks for sharing this and i hope u dont have to resort to SN <3
 
letsnotmakeittoo22

letsnotmakeittoo22

I Have No Long Term Plans For This Body
Nov 24, 2024
31
T

The first time i was found and rescued, i was in a short coma and woke up days later
So thats why you really beed a place where you won't be found for a while (around 30 minutes)
Just got found and locked up in the loony bin. Can concur.
 

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