Discussion How long have you been suicidal?

[Irukinj]

1 year, tried once... I should've done it 6-7 years ago. I'm a mad man, and I'd rather die than live a life being miserable and alone...

 

[wanttodie]

1 year, tried once... I should've done it 6-7 years ago. I'm a mad man, and I'd rather die than live a life being miserable and alone...

me to I'd rather die than live a life being miserable

 

[MAIO]

Just wondered how long everyone here has been suicidal, and if you have any previous attempts.

I've been suicidal since I realized I was on a cesspool planet and I'm going to suffer for no good reason, and then realized suicide was even a thing. So, about age 10. I've attempted I think about 5 times. First time was when I was in 9th grade. I overdosed on Tylenol but just projectile vomited a few times and was fine. Next time was college, tried partial suspension hanging from my dorm room closet. I didn't even get dizzy. Had forgotten about this time until a few days ago, actually. 3rd was a few years after college, when I lived with an abusive ex and was desperate to get out, tried drinking myself to death. Just threw up a lot and was fine. 4th time was last year, as my health started getting worse, trying strangulation with a strap. I'm too fat for it to work properly lol. 5th time I tried overdosing on OTC meds and putting a bag over my head, but I just vomited blood and foam a few times, never fainted.

This is about a fictonal characters sister. Not me.

If we are counting drinking to death so many timesXD. A few months ago I leaned on a mountain edge with my 9mn to the back of my head. I loaded the gun pulled the trigger and the gun jammed. I cussed my luck. If only I had cleaned my gun beforehand. Other than inital anger I felt absolutly nothing. I felt alot of anger, more so than when I waited in highschool by the train tracks for a train to come that never came that day. Ever since I have had a gun I have been able to hold a loaded gun to my head with no reaction whatsoever from me. My main regret it life is I did not succeed in killing myself is highschool. I have never been glad I faled. I have regretted failling more times than I count. I already know if I do not do it soon I risk getting caught up in obligations so I feel like I can't. I am not going to do that. I set plans to move accross the country but I have no intention of doing that. I plan on dying here.

 

[Sonnenblume]

This is about a fictonal characters sister. Not me.

If we are counting drinking to death so many timesXD. A few months ago I leaned on a mountain edge with my 9mn to the back of my head. I loaded the gun pulled the trigger and the gun jammed. I cussed my luck. If only I had cleaned my gun beforehand. Other than inital anger I felt absolutly nothing. I felt alot of anger, more so than when I waited in highschool by the train tracks for a train to come that never came that day. Ever since I have had a gun I have been able to hold a loaded gun to my head with no reaction whatsoever from me. My main regret it life is I did not succeed in killing myself is highschool. I have never been glad I faled. I have regretted failling more times than I count. I already know if I do not do it soon I risk getting caught up in obligations so I feel like I can't. I am not going to do that. I set plans to move accross the country but I have no intention of doing that. I plan on dying here.

If I'm being brutally honest with myself, I moved across country to die. It was just too hard to do back home.

 

[MAIO]

If I'm being brutally honest with myself, I moved across country to die. It was just too hard to do back home.

Which coast are you on?

 

[MAIO]

If I'm being brutally honest with myself, I moved across country to die. It was just too hard to do back home.

This is about a fictonal characters sister. Not me.

Honestly though I am ready to die. It's weird It's hard to describe. It's almost like I can feel lt in my blood. I feel like I know beyond any doubt whatsoever, I am on borrowed time. I have never felt this before and that makes me very happy.

 

[Sonnenblume]

Which coast are you on?

West

 

[AnnonyBox]

Since early high-school, if not earlier. Gotta love waking up to the harsh reality that humanity is complete degeneracy, and is willing to bully you day and night just to get its kicks, among other things.

 

[NoValueInVictimhood]

When I was 12 years old. It was until 4th grade I was getting the idea I wasn't like everyone else. Then it's been tough since then. Tired. I just want to rest. Three attempts by laying on the train tracks only to hesitate at the final moment. I'm ready to go. I don't think there's anything else look forward to in my life.

 

[FullFat]

13 years now. I first considered it when I was 12 after my dad said he didn't care if I died or became a drugged up, homeless hooker (yes, that's what he said!). I don't know how I'm supposed to keep going until my parents die, but that's the plan. My dad will probably be the first to go when it's actually my mom I care the most about hurting, but oh well.

I keep playing that game people play with hourly work where you break up time periods into shorter chunks - e.g. I don't have an hour left until quitting time, just 4 15 minute intervals. With years, I make it even more abstract. The last three years, when I was in grad school, flew by faster than any others. So, instead of 10 years in the future, I think "3 grad schools plus 1 year". Makes me feel like I have less time to wait.

Every time I've felt despair, I just tell myself it will soon be over. The 10 years between 15 and 25 felt like nothing. What's another 10 when they'll undoubtedly go by even faster?

I have no previous attempts. Too much of a pussy, I guess. I tell myself it's about my family, but I'm probably just a coward. I really need to buy a gun soon before any hard gun control is legislated. That's my preferred method. Everything else sounds too long and difficult.

 

[Literalgarbage]

Just wondered how long everyone here has been suicidal, and if you have any previous attempts.

I've been suicidal since I realized I was on a cesspool planet and I'm going to suffer for no good reason, and then realized suicide was even a thing. So, about age 10. I've attempted I think about 5 times. First time was when I was in 9th grade. I overdosed on Tylenol but just projectile vomited a few times and was fine. Next time was college, tried partial suspension hanging from my dorm room closet. I didn't even get dizzy. Had forgotten about this time until a few days ago, actually. 3rd was a few years after college, when I lived with an abusive ex and was desperate to get out, tried drinking myself to death. Just threw up a lot and was fine. 4th time was last year, as my health started getting worse, trying strangulation with a strap. I'm too fat for it to work properly lol. 5th time I tried overdosing on OTC meds and putting a bag over my head, but I just vomited blood and foam a few times, never fainted.

I was in fifth grade when i started to be suicidal, i though what was the point of life its just live pay taxes and die thats it. Im not going through that

Just wondered how long everyone here has been suicidal, and if you have any previous attempts.

I've been suicidal since I realized I was on a cesspool planet and I'm going to suffer for no good reason, and then realized suicide was even a thing. So, about age 10. I've attempted I think about 5 times. First time was when I was in 9th grade. I overdosed on Tylenol but just projectile vomited a few times and was fine. Next time was college, tried partial suspension hanging from my dorm room closet. I didn't even get dizzy. Had forgotten about this time until a few days ago, actually. 3rd was a few years after college, when I lived with an abusive ex and was desperate to get out, tried drinking myself to death. Just threw up a lot and was fine. 4th time was last year, as my health started getting worse, trying strangulation with a strap. I'm too fat for it to work properly lol. 5th time I tried overdosing on OTC meds and putting a bag over my head, but I just vomited blood and foam a few times, never fainted.

I'd suggest getting sleeping pills, test them out to see how many will make you nod off, once you find out that, then you use the pills again and use the bag, put a rubber band on the bag and pull the bag away so you get air in the mean time. Wear a mask so it dosn't stick to your face, when you nod off your hands will let go of the bag and the bag will seal tightly around your neck

 

[WornOutLife]

Since I was 12 more or less but somehow I got here (32) but wanna exit this world asap.

 

[FlyMe2TheMoon]

The earliest time I can remember wanting to CTB is when I was about four or five. I ate an entire container of Tic Tacs because I thought they were pills and I knew taking too many pills = death.