Discussion How long have you been suicidal?

[Gstreater]

Around eight years now with a few attempts through the years with being stuck in a mental ward making it worse.

 

[kmycluisfe]

3 years ago it became serious, but I started being depressed 4 to 5 years ago something like that

 

[FireFox]

Since the age of 21. I am 27 now. I have tried my best to give myself and good life and all I ever wanted was to be happy.

Now I am done fighting. Life is a bullshit game and I am done playing.

 

[CatLvr]

since i was 13, now im 18 and idk how yall are like 32, im scared, please tell me it gets better

For me there have been ups and downs. So not always suicidal, but it was more like that thought was always "on the back burner" so to speak.

 

[sometimesoon]

Ever since I was 15 when I made a veery serious attempt of hanging.

It's been part of my plans ever since

 

[Pessimist]

That the state that I live in here in the U.S., the state owns and runs a mental health facility, some may call it by other definitions, long tern mental health institution or hospital, but it is a place that houses folks with long term or permanent mental health issues for life.

So, all the money to run house the folks and all the upkeep comes either or usually it is a combo of state and federal money here in the U.S.

Like me, after my 2nd attempt, I had a nasty court fight where the state that I live in here in the U.S. wanted to put me in a state-run mental health institution, I won, thank GOD, but it is along those lines. For me, at least what I somewhat heard and can remember, it was back in 2015, it would have been at least 1 year. I would have lived there, and I could NOT go out of the place on my own, for like a walk, so glad it did not come to pass.


Walter

Thanks for the explanation.

 

[mrpeter]

3 years

 

[MlemMy]

Thoughts of "not wanting to exist" started at around 7-8 years old, thoughts of "wanting to end it myself" started when i was 11. Though i've had destructive behaviours since that age, i've never seriously attempted. I'll be 22 in a few months, and i'm surprised at how i've managed to stay alive this long. Anyway, i plan on attempting somewhere in the near future, and i hope my first try will be successful.

 

[slamjoetry]

Since age 15. I'm 23 now, so for 8 years. I've always been depressed though.

 

[InTheAbyss]

At least since I was 7 maybe a bit earlier than that. So a bit over 37 years now. Hopefully it'll be over before too much longer.

 

[RoseGarden]

trigger warning I guess.

i remember being 4 years old, crying on the bathroom floor after my dad just beat me, wishing I was never born.

 

[Oeoe3]

Since I was 7 if I could remember, not sure. Most of my life is a blur since I don't seem to keep track of anything. It only got serious when I fully realized was at the age of 12.

 

[Gone soon]

About ten years. I experimented with self strangulation when I was 12. Now I'm almost 22

 

[nattanatta]

On and off for about 11-12 years.

 

[mrpeter]

Thoughts of "not wanting to exist" started at around 7-8 years old, thoughts of "wanting to end it myself" started when i was 11. Though i've had destructive behaviours since that age, i've never seriously attempted. I'll be 22 in a few months, and i'm surprised at how i've managed to stay alive this long. Anyway, i plan on attempting somewhere in the near future, and i hope my first try will be successful.

i also thought about not existing when i was 8 but i wasn't actually suicidal or depressed

 

[blackwidow92]

For around 5-6 years

 

[DeplorableHuman]

Had some suicidal thoughts during my teenage years but nothing too serious. The past 5 years however it's getting worse and worse every day. At this point I already have a list of supplies and a plan that I'll need to go peacefully. Every day is becoming more and more of a struggle to survive mentally. I can break down completely 100% of the time. I'm a mess.

 

[berko]

since i was 12, was kind of hoping it'd stop when i turned 25 and my frontal lobe developed etc but here i am 26 going on 27 feeling the same, but now i feel less sad about it

 

[Felodese]

Since I was about 12 or 13, I think
Turning 40 today. Happy birthday to me... I hope it's the last one

 

[Space Outlaw Bunny]

since I was 10 (23 now), but I didn't know about suicide, maybe even that word
I just wanted to sleep forever and don't exist
when I was 11/12 after being publicly bullied at PE, I ran away to home (not far from school, just a one street) and locket myself in a closed at my and my sibling room wanting to suffocate there
I left shortly after crying my eyes out
I even wrote a suicide letter, I only remember that was a part with my will written there

 

[youareforgiven]

Last 5 years, but I have been mentally struggeling for 15 years. Before that I was actually a very happy and excited person. Life sucks

 

[aipuweth]

Since I was 13 or 14, I guess.

 

[old_soul]

30 long and miserable years

 

[daysnumbered]

I started sporadically having suicidal thoughts when I was 18-20, but my suicidal ideations did not become constant until I turned 21. I have been suicidal for around 8-10 years.

 

[yellowjester]

4 years. 4 pathetic years.

 

[hereornot]

I started to see this as an option 10 years ago when I lost everything I had to support and care for a mentally ill family member alone.

I had no idea what awaited me. In fact, this is an option that exists for everyone. Especially frustrations with family remind me of this. After all, they should be people you trust.

But in my case, they are the ones that did me more harm than any enemy. The only one worth living for was my father, who died. And it was because of him that I stopped thinking about it while he was still alive.

I believe that they are not simple thoughts but the realization that it is a solution available in everyone's life. Some deny that this alternative exists, others know that it exists.

Overcome this it also a possibility that exists.

 

[27ClubSoon]

Actively in this episode 6 months or so. Realistically over a decade I've known this was always going to be the way I end my journey.

 

[HopeToStay]

Been passively suicidal since i was about 18. (39 currently)

Seriously considered it around 2018, was getting older and just felt i was past it and had nothing to show for myself. But things picked up for the next few year, then COVID derailed everything.

Now looks like i have a medical issue and i'll probably be going through with it this time, sadly. It's not an emotional reactive thing any more, it now seems quite viscerally rational.

I think i always knew i was going to take my own way out eventually, age generally bring more problems.

 

[JAT]

On and off for about 30 years.

 

[abusedanimal6]

Since I was 14