Discussion How have you changed after joining SaSu?

[PlasticFace]

I feel less alone. I've met so many like-minded people on SaSu and this is the one place I can truly just speak my mind. I don't get out much so social interactions are hard for me but here, I don't have to worry about people thinking I'm weird or treating me like I'm fragile.

How has SaSu changed you?

 

[unabletocope]

More focused on suicide

 

[ClaudeCTTE]

I feel like my life was more boring before being on this site. Before being on this site, I used to lie in bed doing nothing relevant. Moreover, my old online friends had abandoned me because they were always "busy" with their happily happy lives, so I was always alone talking to myself.
On the other hand, before, I didn't know how to vent because I was too lazy to write my thoughts in a notebook, and I always had negative thoughts wandering through my head.

Now that I'm on this site, I feel less alone and have more motivation to write my thoughts. I like being here because I know I'm not the only one suffering in this hell.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, I haven't, I'm still just suffering in this dreadful, meaningless existence. I find it so incredibly tragic and horrifying how life gets so harmfully forced here yet they deny us a painless death even know it's all just futile anyway. Existence is just unnecessary suffering, it's an abomination to exist and I wouldn't wish to experience existence under any circumstances. To have the ability to exist is really hellish and harmful especially as there is no limit as to how torturous it can get, what terrifies me is ending up in a situation of way worse suffering.

I wish there would be a change to make suicide accessible so people can peacefully and permanently escape from the evil that is existence, people need to be able to choose when they die in a peaceful way, for me suicide is suffering prevention, the thought of being trapped here for many more decades fills me with an extreme amount of dread.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

The site helped me feel less alone for the first time, especially when it came to suicidal ideation. It provides me an outlet to vent and reflect on my feelings. I also do think it's changed me for worse in some regards, though unintentionally and it was only one factor in it rather than the main cause. Overall, I do think this site has mostly been good for me and I'm very thankful for it's existence.

 

[JaJu]

I feel less alone. I've met so many like-minded people on SaSu and this is the one place I can truly just speak my mind. I don't get out much so social interactions are hard for me but here, I don't have to worry about people thinking I'm weird or treating me like I'm fragile.

Can totally agree with this. It's comforting and encouraging to be able to understand and be understanding to individuals who are going through something similar without feeling judged.

 

[dggtscccvfd]

I've become more focused, even bullish, about suicide. That's a good thing in my case as I suffer from physical health problems that are impossible to live with. I'm very thankful for this site providing me with a method (SN) and information on how to get it right (Stan's Guide).
For my mum's sake, I'm giving the doctors one more chance at fixing me, but then I'm outta here.

 

[billie]

Since I've been here I feel less alone

 

[marudekinoumitai]

Honestly I haven't changed much. I've been at least a little suicidal for a long time, but I mostly just pop in here when I'm doing badly. It gives me a sense of agency, knowing I could end this if I really wanted.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I haven't changed because of this site . I changed because of my own thinking and research.

I haven't seen anything philosophically here i didn't post or think of myself.

The things I won't post here will remain unknown to all who read this site.

Method wise I did get some information from this site though

 

[Zanmato]

I joined a few days ago, but I know this website from a while, and sometimes I took a look at it.
Now I feel... Not different, but less alone, as other people said.
Plus, I like that here we can be ourselves, talking so much genuinely about our struggling, without being judged

 

[Agon321]

I don't think I've changed.

I'm just glad I found a method for ctb.
It certainly calmed me down.

But apart from that, nothing has changed.
I don't think I feel worse or better.

 

[theboy]

understand that there are logical reasons to die

 

[Final_Choice]

It's nice to see that others feel a similar way to me but also sad because I wouldn't wish this upon anyone, but here we are. Besides that I know more methods, how to get the materials for them, and how to execute them correctly which I didn't know anywhere near as much as I do now.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I've become more enlightened about all of the suffering going on in this forsaken world.

 

[melancholymallory03]

This website has given me access to peaceful methods that won't harm me further or allow me to make myself a vegetable when I ctb , I very much appreciate this for a peaceful exit

Also I've found a community of likeminded ish people that I have grown to really like and respect so it is a good bonus on top of having access to safer methods than my previous attempts

 

[SparkleWater]

honestly? made me worse. it gave me the info i needed to try and end it. it taught me about partial hanging, sn, night night. i havent gone far enought as to finally order anything ive only tried hanging a couple times but i feel like if i never came here then maybe i would be focused on recovery

 

[Helween]

I felt trapped and so anxious before coming here, thinking about slitting my throat as the only means to CTB which i'd like to avoid, so i discovered other and prolly more peaceful method to go, so now i feel kinda lighter. People are really nice here.

 

[4am]

i used to scroll twitter all day long, now i scroll both ss and twitter. otherwise nothing changed at all

 

[PlasticFace]

I joined a few days ago, but I know this website from a while, and sometimes I took a look at it.
Now I feel... Not different, but less alone, as other people said.
Plus, I like that here we can be ourselves, talking so much genuinely about our struggling, without being judged

I too was a "lurker" for a while. I hope you get lots of use from these forums and find the environment welcoming :)

honestly? made me worse. it gave me the info i needed to try and end it. it taught me about partial hanging, sn, night night. i havent gone far enought as to finally order anything ive only tried hanging a couple times but i feel like if i never came here then maybe i would be focused on recovery

Im sorry about this… :,( I truly hope you can find your peace regardless in recovery or otherwise. Not everyone has the same reaction to SaSu, you still aren't alone.

 

[mainlanders_son]

More pissed that the state confiscated my firearm.

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

Found my method (SN), now I'm way more prepared and less scared.
Probably found out why I am not fit in the society.

 

[NullSz00]

Haven't changed much aside from feeling less alone as there are people here that feel the same way I do. Also I got something new to do, I can browse this forum whenever I'm bored, so I think I'm grateful that this site exists.

 

[snunu]

I feel less alone. I've met so many like-minded people on SaSu and this is the one place I can truly just speak my mind. I don't get out much so social interactions are hard for me but here, I don't have to worry about people thinking I'm weird or treating me like I'm fragile.

How has SaSu changed you?

Likewise, I don't feel as strange or as alone in the world as I felt before I appreciate having a way where I can express my raw thoughts and emotions without having to be judge or put in a mental asylum. Also a lot of the ppl whom I've interacted with have been very kind, despite the usual gruesome and dark nature of the topics a lot of the ppl here are very comprehensive and show a lot of empathy in my experience thus far and I appreciate that a lot.

 

[TapeMachine]

I think I feel more alone, which is strange, I know. The loneliness is entirely my own fault. I felt less alone when initially joining; but for reasons unrelated to this forum, I have withdrawn more into myself than ever.

Most of the time, I cope with life by keeping myself busy (alone, at home) so I don't have time to think about the sad things. When I'm busy, the loneliness doesn't bother me. But every now and then, especially when I see how my withdrawal has negatively impacted the few people I love, I feel shameful and more deserving of death than ever.

I don't even feel like I'm making sense... God, I hate my dysfunctional brain.

 

[ferret-in-a-sock]

Ironically, a place with resources about some of the difficulty and potential consequence with CTB-ing with various methods has done more for prevention for me than the bland "no, don't do it, call a hotline."

 

[Moniker]

I've had pro-choice views on suicide for a very long time, but I never met anyone who agreed with me. I didn't feel very confident in my beliefs until I realized how many people felt the same.

As for how it changed me, I'm honestly a lot less nervous about life in general. I know I can check out of life whenever I want. There's something comforting about that.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I stopped hating myself and started hating existence instead. I also understand myself more and that I'm just incompatible with life as a whole. I also have my first social media addiction (i.e. this site) and I'm okay with that as I finally have a consistent way to escape reality

 

[xinino]

Nothing.

 

[Ww42]

I feel like im honestly not that fucked up. That suicide just seems like an inevitable part for someone thats born into chemical imbalances which make life biologically impossible to enjoy. It also helps to ask and get amswers to questions that, outside this site, are frowned upon. Like methods to die, why we want to die, etc. Without getting the hotline number shoved in our faces