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itssoover21

itssoover21

Member
May 21, 2025
10
I'm not talking about a certain type of grief as much as i mean that, in the past week, I've come to terms with the fact that i can't keep going for much longer, I'm past the point of even running on fumes. And that has been bringing all these thoughts of what if to my head that have been fucking with me so much. What if i kept pushing? What if i wasn't that fucked in my body and mind? What if i do go through with it and end it all? What if i get found before it's all over? Yk?

It's just fucking with me so much rn and idk who to talk to about it.
 
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Ihatemonday

Ihatemonday

Member
May 10, 2025
24
I feel you, even though idk what you're grieving over. I also wish I could find the answer to smile once again, but I'm trying to make peace with the fact that I'm only still going on because of my mother and father.
 
Mooncry

Mooncry

꥟♡⏾
Sep 11, 2024
259
I feel you, even though idk what you're grieving over.
Grieving themselves. Honestly the worst part about making the decision to CTB, and nothing could have ever prepared me for it.

I feel you too, OP. We're with you. I wish I had some advice, but the self-grieving process is different for everybody, and some people just seem to come to terms with all the what-ifs a lot easier than others. Definitely not the case for me though. It's been rough.
 
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gameoverman

Member
May 25, 2025
17
Grieving themselves. Honestly the worst part about making the decision to CTB, and nothing could have ever prepared me for it.

I feel you too, OP. We're with you. I wish I had some advice, but the self-grieving process is different for everybody, and some people just seem to come to terms with all the what-ifs a lot easier than others. Definitely not the case for me though. It's been rough.
Exactly this. I can't stop thinking how nice my life would be if not for the incurable health and mental issues that ruined my life and body. I cry every day but I know I must end it. It really is rough.
 
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sambrosia

Member
Jun 10, 2025
69
Exactly this. I can't stop thinking how nice my life would be if not for the incurable health and mental issues that ruined my life and body. I cry every day but I know I must end it. It really is rough.

Me too. I had talents, interests, could have contributed to the world. But I never got over this, this curse or whatever. My brain is just broken and all I do is hurt people and be sad. Sigh. What a waste.
 
itssoover21

itssoover21

Member
May 21, 2025
10
Me too. I had talents, interests, could have contributed to the world. But I never got over this, this curse or whatever. My brain is just broken and all I do is hurt people and be sad. Sigh. What a waste.
Yeah, knowing you were great and HAD SOMETHING with tangible proof and looking back on the ruins of a person that we're left with fucking hurts
 

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