Help How do you talk about it?

[Life_and_Death]

(please be careful with what you say this topic is a major trigger for me and considering I made this very clear in the beginning anything I find triggering I will be requesting to have deleted, obviously I will look carefully at the way something is worded first because maybe you can't think of another way to word it)

Anyway like the title says, how do you talk about things you just can't talk about without physically feeling sick. For the most part I don't but where its a constant thing for me I kinda have to tell my therapist about it sooner or later but I just cant.

 

[Ghost2211]

You could tell your therapist you're struggling with finding words, and that when you try to voice the triggering topic it causes distress. Your therapist should be able to find a way to help you feel safe enough, and guide you through how to find ways to express yourself.

 

[Life_and_Death]

You could tell your therapist you're struggling with finding words, and that when you try to voice the triggering topic it causes distress. Your therapist should be able to find a way to help you feel safe enough, and guide you through how to find ways to express yourself.

She already has a basic idea. The last time she was talking about not being my therapist anymore because they don't advise the intense therapy I'm going to start plus normal therapy. I said that I saw her linken profile and it said she was a sexual assault therapist or something like that (btw for future reference for people this is the trigger) and I told her that I'd like to keep her because of that but I told her I can't talk about it and she said that I didn't have to say anything until I was ready to but im not sure I ever will be.

 

[Ghost2211]

She already has a basic idea. The last time she was talking about not being my therapist anymore because they don't advise the intense therapy I'm going to start plus normal therapy. I said that I saw her linken profile and it said she was a sexual assault therapist or something like that (btw for future reference for people this is the trigger) and I told her that I'd like to keep her because of that but I told her I can't talk about it and she said that I didn't have to say anything until I was ready to but im not sure I ever will be.

For sexual trauma it is best to talk to someone that specializes with that. The main thing is finding a therapist you connect with and feel safe with. That might take time, but on the other side of it it's really ok if you don't want or can't talk about it. You can use tools like building self esteem and self acceptance.

 

[Life_and_Death]

You can use tools like building self esteem and self acceptance.

I'm not 100% sure it would help with this. I could use it I definitely hate myself at times but it's more of a ptsd thing. It wasn't really a big problem and then one day (a couple years later for some weird reason) I was watching a doc on ww2 and they were talking about.... I want to say someone higher up (anyway I'm sure you can guess what he did) and I just walked off to the shower and sat there having a panic attack. Ever since then I just haven't been ok. For a while it was only a temporary problem when it was triggered but now it's an everyday thing.

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm not 100% sure it would help with this. I could use it I definitely hate myself at times but it's more of a ptsd thing. It wasn't really a big problem and then one day (a couple years later for some weird reason) I was watching a doc on ww2 and they were talking about.... I want to say someone higher up (anyway I'm sure you can guess what he did) and I just walked off to the shower and sat there having a panic attack. Ever since then I just haven't been ok. For a while it was only a temporary problem when it was triggered but now it's an everyday thing.

It's good they are referring to someone that specializes with ptsd/trauma. They won't push you to talk if you can't, and they are trained to understand and help people work through these things. If you're having anxiety about meeting with them it might help you to reflect on that you don't have to say anything you don't want to, and you can take things at a pace that feels safe for you.

 

[Life_and_Death]

It's good they are referring to someone that specializes with ptsd/trauma. They won't push you to talk if you can't, and they are trained to understand and help people work through these things. If you're having anxiety about meeting with them it might help you to reflect on that you don't have to say anything you don't want to, and you can take things at a pace that feels safe for you.

So if I told her I want to talk about it but can't do you think she could find a roundabout way to help me tell her?

 

[DyingAlf]

I think that it gets easier to talk to therapists once you get to trust them a bit, which can take time (in my case heaps of time!)
I often talk around an issue, or talk about something I've seen or heard about recently, which somehow relates to the issue but which I find less traumatic to talk about, to ease myself into it. If you have a good therapist they should be able to pick up on this & help gently ease you into talking about it.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I think that it gets easier to talk to therapists once you get to trust them a bit, which can take time (in my case heaps of time!)
I often talk around an issue, or talk about something I've seen or heard about recently, which somehow relates to the issue but which I find less traumatic to talk about, to ease myself into it. If you have a good therapist they should be able to pick up on this & help gently ease you into talking about it.

The therapist isn't the problem, she seems sweet. It's the whole topic in general. I have threads on ignore because I just can't without feeling sick

 

[DyingAlf]

The therapist isn't the problem, she seems sweet. It's the whole topic in general. I have threads on ignore because I just can't without feeling sick

Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that your therapist is a problem.
In my case, even if I like the person (&/or if they seem sweet) it takes me a long time to build up trust to talk about anything especially the really difficult stuff.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that your therapist is a problem.
In my case, even if I like the person (&/or if they seem sweet) it takes me a long time to build up trust to talk about anything especially the really difficult stuff.

You're idea sounds like a good one but idk what I could talk about. Even just talking about consensual sex between 2 adults makes me feel sick because I just can't see anything good about it even though I do it myself however I typically feel sick about it (of course this brings on a whole other topic of "is my husband raping me?" I have no f'ing idea but I do know that I feel like I can't say no even though I know I can. The whole situations f'ed lol)

 

[Ghost2211]

So if I told her I want to talk about it but can't do you think she could find a roundabout way to help me tell her?

Yes, for sure expressing you want help and want to stop suffering, but can't outright talk will still be productive. I'm sure most people that come in are unable to communicate what they are enduring.