I hate how media is bitching about this forum when there really is no other space to safetly talk about suicidality

[sancta-simplicitas]

You're advised to tell someone, that "help is always avaliable", to seek professional help yada yada. In the best case scenario they people you tell will treat you like you're a ticking bomb who could pull a bottle of N out of your pocket and chug it at any time. Everyone from your loved ones to doctors and therapists to strangers on the internet - tend to get immensly stressed whenever the topic is brought up. It's understandable (at least, for the loved ones) though I believe it's largely an effect of the medias war on suicidality that basically describes anyone who's ever wanted to die as severly mentally ill and unstable people who could just drop dead at any wrong word, thus scaring your loved ones from actually providing a safe space. If you try to talk to someone outside of here about it, you'll likely at best get a number for a helpline yeeted in your face and the helpline will likely not provide much help at all because they're - in my experience - often unwilling to see your perspective at all. I've heard people described being verbally abused by people at those helplines. At worst they'll call the cops on you (especially if they're healthcare providers) which often leads to being violated in one way or another. Then you'll risk getting locked in for a couple of weeks, if you're really unlucky you'll lose all the legal rights to your own body, and it's not unlikely you'll get out of there with a fresh trauma. At least in my country. All because the current narrative pushed by media is that we should stop all suicides at all costs. Society doesn't care about your suffering, how your life looks, if your days are even bearable. As long as you are kept alive, that's all that matters.

So... where are people who are suffering supposed to go with their suicidality? Who exactly is offering that precious safe space, that sense of community that's often talked about? There are no support groups, no classes, no study circles. You're not allowed to talk about it anywhere but places like this, and this place is trash talked, blocked in several countries and people are signing petitions to close it down. Society is absolutely ruthless towards suicidal people.

 

[iloverachel]

I agree this is the best and safest place to vent about suicidal thoughts.

In the outside world it is such a taboo topic, people will look down on you, call you selfish, call the police on you etc.

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

I agree this is the best and safest place to vent about suicidal thoughts.

In the outside world it is such a taboo topic, people will look down on you, call you selfish, call the police on you etc.

Yeah, it's such a depressing paradox. Everyone likes to advertise that they care so very much about suicidal people, "saving lives", "help is always avaliable" but in reality being suicidal has a very real risk of having people treat you like garbage.

 

[teajay1]

you're preaching here, sooo true. suicide watch on reddit is ASS. nobody gives a fuck people are cold and judgmental people will only reply to a girls post (for the grossest obvious reasons). vs here where everybody is cared for. i haven't had my account long and i've already received more supportive replies, and seen more supportive replies compared to reddit and similar platforms where not a single person could care any less. why is it that suicidal people care more and feel more selfless than the rest of society?

 

[Time2PackUp]

This is so well said. Society lies to itself, if we're being real, everyone can't be saved. If you tell me everyone can be saved, you're delusional as hell and I know you're lying to yourself. This isn't utopia, our world is extremely flawed. There's a strange pride people take in being treated like absolute shit in society everyday, and say "at least I'm alive". Really? Well good for you, but don't give me shit if I mention I'm suicidal. I honestly think people are so against it because they've thought about doing it themselves and can't come to terms with it, so they sort of attack the people who've accepted it. Absolutely agree with this being the only safe space to talk about these things. If I told anyone about my belief in a right to die, they'd probably flip out. I think it scares people to see others who accept suicide, who may be in a similar situation, because it makes reality kick in that this isn't an acceptable way to live. They're afraid of considering it may actually not be the worst option... So they go in survival mode.

 

[ihateearth]

Don't forget to use VPN WHEN USING THIS WEBSITE. They can track people

 

[NeedAnEscape]

I relate to your sentiments. I know that I can't talk to anyone outside of this forum about my feelings and experiences. Not only would it stir a lot of panic and pity among my loved ones, everyone would be trying to reassure me with the classic "life gets better" phrases. I don't want to be treated like glass on the verge of shattering. The thought of confiding in anyone has been shut down time and time again. Talking about my issues elsewhere, in my experience, has only brought me more harm than good. "Help" doesn't feel like help. I appreciate that this forum exists. Nobody is giving me any false promises. I feel understood here. I'm allowed to express my feelings without immediate pushback just for having these thoughts.

 

[Chr0nicAnhedonic]

There's a cruel irony when someone tells you that help is available and to find someone to talk to, only to find that no one wants to hear your words. Suicidal people are always passed off from person to person, until eventually they land in a psych ward and learn to shut up for good. That's really what society wants when they tell suicidal people to "seek help": to stop talking about it and not make it their problem.

This is the only space where I feel like I can truly express myself and not have horrible repercussions for doing so. It's the only place where I feel like people aren't trying to bullshit me or push me aside when I talk about how awful I feel or how I feel like life isn't worth living. This is the only place where I'm actually heard, and not just going through a risk-assessment script.

This site threatens the sanctity of "help is always available" and the notion that sticking someone in a padded room and drugging them will make them appreciate the beauty of life. They have to make shit up like how we're a pro-death cult that wants to kill kids, when the people who post here are more kind and speak more truth than anyone in mental health that I've worked with. I hope more people realize just how fucked the coverage of SS is and hopefully change the narrative around "suicide prevention".

 

[UKscotty]

I think the thing is to ask WHY the person is telling others they are going to CTB etc.

If people tell a doctor or family they are about to CTB, they have a moral obligation to act and try and help.

It's only my belief but if someone is telling others about their desire to CTB, its because they want help, even if they don't see it that way. Someone who is ready to go and accepts it won't be telling anyone that's for sure.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I hate this too. Suicidal people are treated awfully by a lot of society and yet they're expected to reach out. The ironic thing is that I would have reached out to people if their treatment of suicidal people were good. I wouldn't necessarily want to recover but at least I was hoping to have a nice, civil and rational conversation about why I'm suicidal to begin with and perhaps to inquire about next steps from there (without hearing the just world fallacy or any other stupid sayings). However, why would I do that when all suicidal people are treated irrationally anyway regardless of what reason they have? I don't understand why many suicidal people would reach out when the perceptions of the people you reach out to are already set in stone

Unfortunately, humanity has yet to gain all the rights we deserve as there is one right left which people never acknowledge that we should have... the right to a peaceful death. And I'm not even sure if such a right will ever exist because of how pro life people are. The thought of death makes people uncomfortable hence the narrative of wanting to make people stay alive for as long as possible.

Media hate this site because it goes against current social norms, because they believe that all life should be preserved for as long as possible. They will never think that enough is enough because they never about us to begin with. Their goal always has been to care about the quantity of life that we experience, not the quality of life

 

[thesea]

I agree with much of what you have all posted here.

The media's reporting on this site is exactly what has brought me to it. From what had been said, I initially thought this site would be a free-for-all where members were being forced to end their lives and mental health support was subjugated for some kind of cult-like, doom-based doctrine.

I looked out of curiosity.

In fact, so far, I've found the opposite to be true, with members simply being offered an outlet to talk about their feelings and plans without judgement (and there IS an entire section dedicated to recovery. They don't mention that!).

I've joined because I think it's what I've been looking for for the longest time.

Would I have signed up if people were being pushed towards suicide? Hell no. The way I'm seeing it, this may well be the internet's equivalent of the Samaritans phone line: if you want help and support, we will offer it to you, but if you have decided otherwise, we will simply listen to you, and you will be heard.

If somebody is feeling suicidal, I believe they should have the right to express that and discuss it with other people who actually understand what that may feel like… it may be the very thing that sees them through it. Sometimes people just need to be heard and given a space to work through things without being forced to accept medical interventions (that often seldom deal with the underlying causes) or constantly being told that things will get better when they may not.

Similarly, I think those who decide to follow though with ending their lives should be given the dignity to express that with others without being told they are 'wrong'. They are offered that here. From what I've seen on these forums during brief visits previously, upon such announcements people are sent kind wishes of peace and rest, gentle closing words to painful stories.

Sometimes the 'help' doesn't help, and serves only to prolong unmanageable (and unimaginable) pain and suffering. There are people out there who need to be listened to without being hit with referrals, sections, diagnoses, hypotheses, prescriptions, assessments, having their every word or action scrutinised (sometimes incorrectly), being monitored, being tested, etc. If a person's only emotional outlet is a local healthcare provider, then of course that is what they are obliged to provide. (And yes, for many such interventions can be beneficial and they may want them, but for many others, they may not be.) For those who aren't after that, however, this may be a useful alternative.

I might be wrong, and it's early days for me here (in fact, this is my first post!). But, so far, I can't marry up the sometimes hyperbolic, sometimes hysterical reporting about this site with what I've actually seen on it.

 

[Dot]

Would I have signed up if people were being pushed towards suicide? Hell no. The way I'm seeing it, this may well be the internet's equivalent of the Samaritans phone line: if you want help and support, we will offer it to you, but if you have decided otherwise, we will simply listen to you, and you will be heard.

Sme ppl agnst th/ frum hve accusd Samrtans of 'helpng ppl suicde' jst bcse thy spport & rfuse t/ influnce callrs eithr wy

Tht = th/ levl of critcl thinkng tht SaSu = up agnst

 

[LastFlowers]

I think the thing is to ask WHY the person is telling others they are going to CTB etc.

If people tell a doctor or family they are about to CTB, they have a moral obligation to act and try and help.

It's only my belief but if someone is telling others about their desire to CTB, its because they want help, even if they don't see it that way. Someone who is ready to go and accepts it won't be telling anyone that's for sure.

Define "help".

"Even if they don't see it that way"…so your perspective is to be trusted over theirs?
You feel comfortable projecting your own interpretation of another human being's intentions for themselves..to the point of risking their bodily autonomy and right to make decisions concerning their own future (with personal knowledge and understanding only they have)?

To ponder is one thing, but how is it anyone's "moral obligation" to act or try to "help"?
Again, define "help".
Define "act".
One could just as well argue it's someone's moral obligation to respect someone's wishes and to keep a vulnerable person's confidence.

I don't know that anyone is ever completely ready to go or fully accepting of it, they're just even less accepting of the life they've been forced to live.
There are people who go forward with it for what others may regard as trivial or impulsive reasons, and there are people who go forward with it with reasoning that has survived an utterly hopeless, prolonged, suffering, humiliating existence.

Similarly, we can ask why people tell others they're going to end their lives or anything tangential,
but do consider that there is not a single answer.
Simply confiding in someone about your plans (which may be part of a much more expansive conversation) is not enough evidence on its own to betray some secret wish to be stopped at all costs.

Even if they do want "help", it doesn't mean the type of help they'd need or desire is available to them, it doesn't mean that what is available wouldn't be harmful, rather than helpful.
It is a convenient, nasty little trick of rhetoric to continue to refer to mental health services and commitment as "help" regardless of their consequences.

People feel compelled to share, especially when they have had more extensive burdens to internalize.
It is under the threat of imprisonment and further pariah status that suicidal people keep their mouths shut.
So sure, it would be wiser not to say anything to anyone especially as the deadline grows near…but containing such depths and heights of the human condition is often an inhuman task.

It doesn't help that we live in a world where there's the simultaneous expectation of suffering in silence but also confessing.
To plan your own death is treated like a crime of thought, one which those in power will pull out of you if only for the chance at hammering the sentiment back down.. further inside you but also further from the rest of society.
Also for the purpose of marking you as "diseased", ironically making the life you wanted to escape all the more treacherous and alienating.

 

[PanaxMan]

You're advised to tell someone, that "help is always avaliable", to seek professional help yada yada. In the best case scenario they people you tell will treat you like you're a ticking bomb who could pull a bottle of N out of your pocket and chug it at any time. Everyone from your loved ones to doctors and therapists to strangers on the internet - tend to get immensly stressed whenever the topic is brought up. It's understandable (at least, for the loved ones) though I believe it's largely an effect of the medias war on suicidality that basically describes anyone who's ever wanted to die as severly mentally ill and unstable people who could just drop dead at any wrong word, thus scaring your loved ones from actually providing a safe space. If you try to talk to someone outside of here about it, you'll likely at best get a number for a helpline yeeted in your face and the helpline will likely not provide much help at all because they're - in my experience - often unwilling to see your perspective at all. I've heard people described being verbally abused by people at those helplines. At worst they'll call the cops on you (especially if they're healthcare providers) which often leads to being violated in one way or another. Then you'll risk getting locked in for a couple of weeks, if you're really unlucky you'll lose all the legal rights to your own body, and it's not unlikely you'll get out of there with a fresh trauma. At least in my country. All because the current narrative pushed by media is that we should stop all suicides at all costs. Society doesn't care about your suffering, how your life looks, if your days are even bearable. As long as you are kept alive, that's all that matters.

So... where are people who are suffering supposed to go with their suicidality? Who exactly is offering that precious safe space, that sense of community that's often talked about? There are no support groups, no classes, no study circles. You're not allowed to talk about it anywhere but places like this, and this place is trash talked, blocked in several countries and people are signing petitions to close it down. Society is absolutely ruthless towards suicidal people.

I 100% agree with you and I wish I had those answers. The world would be a lot better if I could put those answers into reality..

 

[AkaRed]

This site has become such a critical safe space for me because it truly is the only place where suicide as a topic is just- accepted and understood at face value. It's a community of people who are all distressed for whatever reason, but have come to this conclusion for themselves. It's a place where they can vent those thoughts, actually look into things for themselves, and be completely understood and have their decisions respected without the ruthless backlash of a psych ward and drugging.

Helplines are some of the most horrible experiences I've had when I desperately needed help when I was in a state of panic and despair.
I feel that if I spoke to someone here, I'd just be heard and understood. I wouldn't be reprimanded for my thoughts whatsoever. I'd just be entirely understood and accepted as I am.

I don't being being pro-choice about the right to die has to be a bad thing, and that's all this site stands for. Unfortunately the media and society absolutely refuse to hear an opposite take when it comes to suicide, and would rather make people suffer endlessly than actually recognize their thoughts and consider what has brought them here in the first place. If someone is legitimately suicidal and planning, they are far more distressed than a few therapy sessions and some medication.

I did also find this site through negative media about it, but I won't lie- as I continued to follow what I was hearing, I was honestly just more intrigued and curious than disgusted and shocked. I may have said otherwise in any conversations I had about it, but I am so so glad I found this place. It feels comfortable, and it feels safe for me to just actually verbalize even the worst of my thoughts without judgement.

<3

 

[real human being]

I think the thing is to ask WHY the person is telling others they are going to CTB etc.

If people tell a doctor or family they are about to CTB, they have a moral obligation to act and try and help.

It's only my belief but if someone is telling others about their desire to CTB, its because they want help, even if they don't see it that way. Someone who is ready to go and accepts it won't be telling anyone that's for sure.

That's honestly just a really condescending perspective and it's not true.

If by 'act' you mean forcefully hospitalize the person or otherwise physically disallow them from committing suicide then you are part of the problem.

Define "help".

"Even if they don't see it that way"…so your perspective is to be trusted over theirs?
You feel comfortable projecting your own interpretation of another human being's intentions for themselves..to the point of risking their bodily autonomy and right to make decisions concerning their own future (with personal knowledge and understanding only they have)?

To ponder is one thing, but how is it anyone's "moral obligation" to act or try to "help"?
Again, define "help".
Define "act".
One could just as well argue it's someone's moral obligation to respect someone's wishes and to keep a vulnerable person's confidence.

I don't know that anyone is ever completely ready to go or fully accepting of it, they're just even less accepting of the life they've been forced to live.
There are people who go forward with it for what others may regard as trivial or impulsive reasons, and there are people who go forward with it with reasoning that has survived an utterly hopeless, prolonged, suffering, humiliating existence.

Similarly, we can ask why people tell others they're going to end their lives or anything tangential,
but do consider that there is not a single answer.
Simply confiding in someone about your plans (which may be part of a much more expansive conversation) is not enough evidence on its own to betray some secret wish to be stopped at all costs.

Even if they do want "help", it doesn't mean the type of help they'd need or desire is available to them, it doesn't mean that what is available wouldn't be harmful, rather than helpful.
It is a convenient, nasty little trick of rhetoric to continue to refer to mental health services and commitment as "help" regardless of their consequences.

People feel compelled to share, especially when they have had more extensive burdens to internalize.
It is the under the threat of imprisonment and further pariah status that suicidal people keep their mouths shut.
So sure, it would be wiser not to say anything to anyone especially as the deadline grows near…but containing such depths and heights of the human condition is often an inhuman task.

It doesn't help that we live in a world where there's the simultaneous expectation of suffering in silence but also confessing.
To plan your own death is treated like a crime of thought, one which those in power will pull out of you if only for the chance at hammering the sentiment back down.. further inside you but also further from the rest of society.
Also for the purpose of marking you as "diseased", ironically making the life you wanted to escape all the more treacherous and alienating.

Well put.

 

[UKscotty]

Ahree t

That's honestly just a really condescending perspective and it's not true.

If by 'act' you mean forcefully hospitalize the person or otherwise physically disallow them from committing suicide then you are part of the problem.

Well

That's honestly just a really condescending perspective and it's not true.

If by 'act' you mean forcefully hospitalize the person or otherwise physically disallow them from committing suicide then you are part of the problem.

Well put.

A case of agree to disagree I think.

I could never understand telling people of my plans to CTB unless I was looking for help.

By help I mean a way to end the mental suffering withing CTB.

Unlike the minority of pro-death members, I don't think the entire human race should be dead. We should try and help others be happy and enjoy life. If that fails, let them CTB.

 

[real human being]

Ahree t



A case of agree to disagree I think.

I could never understand telling people of my plans to CTB unless I was looking for help.

By help I mean a way to end the mental suffering withing CTB.

Unlike the minority of pro-death members, I don't think the entire human race should be dead. We should try and help others be happy and enjoy life. If that fails, let them CTB.

Just to be clear, I'm not against trying to help people. I am against invasive 'help' that denies people's rights, and I am against assuming people's intentions.