How do you properly plan for this?

[TRIXI3]

So, I've managed to come up with an idea of what I want my last several months to be like… of course, there's the obvious which is that I'm going to have to continue working and try to unfuck everything as much as possible for those closest to me in my life so that it isn't as bad for them once I decide to depart from them. Secondly, and probably most importantly, I plan to attempt to spend more time with my friends and those that mean the most to me. I have several trips and events planned up until October (which is probably when I'll ctb, after everything is complete), which include going to see one of my fav artists in concert and flying out to see my ex and see if there's any hope in saving our relationship.

These next few months will really determine my decision whether I will leave this awful world or stay…

I guess we will see.

 

[Lulzacruel]

fyi, its a common thing in pro-lifer media to be suspicious if a normally sad person starts to become happy without treatment.

if your friends are already suspicious, then they might take it as a sign that you may be ctb'ing.

 

[MrDarkness]

That's plenty of time to see if you want to stay or leave, I hope you find peace either in life or death

 

[TheHuman]

That is actually a really good idea, its a good time to decide if life is or isn't for you. You get to talk to people, resolve things, and clear your mind which if you decide to ctb it would be a good way to, with you doing everything you could the pro-lifers can't pull the "he didn't try" card. However if you decide that life is for you, it could be the start of something new, and a better era of you. Whichever way you choose to go I wish you the best!

 

[TRIXI3]

fyi, its a common thing in pro-lifer media to be suspicious if a normally sad person starts to become happy without treatment.

if your friends are already suspicious, then they might take it as a sign that you may be ctb'ing.

Yeah, I'm trying my best to not make things obvious… I'm sure it'll go under their radar anyways. I've always acted this way to begin with so maybe my hyperactive behavior will seem very normal.

That's plenty of time to see if you want to stay or leave, I hope you find peace either in life or death

Thank you for the well wishes

That is actually a really good idea, its a good time to decide if life is or isn't for you. You get to talk to people, resolve things, and clear your mind which if you decide to ctb it would be a good way to, with you doing everything you could the pro-lifers can't pull the "he didn't try" card. However if you decide that life is for you, it could be the start of something new, and a better era of you. Whichever way you choose to go I wish you the best!

Exactly, I've ALWAYS tried to find a reason and a purpose in this life, but here lately it's been ESPECIALLY hard to… but thank you for the well wishes in my search for my answer.

 

[Avalanche81]

I think most of us who want to ctb would like to stick around if our lives change for the better.

I'm in the same boat as you, basically walking the tight ripe so to speak. Right now at this moment I'm not thinking of ctbing.

I have tried and failed ctbing might be another reason why I have not ctb again (just yet). Same here close family members and close friends is a deal breaker at the moment.

If I were to ctb and my poor mom had a massive heart attack, I wouldn't call that a sussessful ctb.

Makes you think about what to do right?

 

[TRIXI3]

I think most of us who want to ctb would like to stick around if our lives change for the better.

I'm in the same boat as you, basically walking the tight ripe so to speak. Right now at this moment I'm not thinking of ctbing.

I have tried and failed ctbing might be another reason why I have not ctb again (just yet). Same here close family members and close friends is a deal breaker at the moment.

If I were to ctb and my poor mom had a massive heart attack, I wouldn't call that a sussessful ctb.

Makes you think about what to do right?

I've tried before and I think that's what scares me too… I'm tired of failing and making people around me paranoid about what my next move will be.

But speaking of your mom makes me think, I really want to be with my mom again. That's another thing that makes me want to succeed at ctb'ing badly.

 

[Avalanche81]

I've tried before and I think that's what scares me too… I'm tired of failing and making people around me paranoid about what my next move will be.

But speaking of your mom makes me think, I really want to be with my mom again. That's another thing that makes me want to succeed at ctb'ing badly.

I hear what your saying. You have a unique situation and everyone on this thread has given awesome advice!

No one will ever force ctb on anyone on this website. Give yourself sometime,think it over, reflect.

Everyone here will respect your decision whatever you decide to do

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best in whatever happens going forward.

 

[TRIXI3]

I wish you the best in whatever happens going forward.

Thank you so much. Same to you as well.

 

[nozomu]

I hope you can find reasons to stay. I'm trying to as well.