Venting How do you move on?

[lastappleonearth]

I can't seem to move on u know, it's been quite some time now and I still think abt her almost every moment, I still cry during the night. I know that she moved on and I think she is happy now and I'm glad for that, she deserves happiness, but I'm just stuck. She even still appears in my dreams and it's nice I guess, but when I wake up, it makes it so much worse. She was right abt everything in the end.
This summer has been so shit, I'm so fckin lonely. Like what are u supposed to do when u have no one left, I just don't know. Being all alone with my thoughts isn't good.

If u ever experienced sth similar, how did you move on?
I guess it'd be easier, if there were some ppl around me, but there's no one

 

[tonicer]

Who was she and what happened to her?

 

[alioshakaramazov]

You don't, you just keep on existing until it somehow stops being your number 1 thought overall. Or maybe you do. For me, it's been more than a year since it happened and I still think about her. It's not on my mind 24/7 but it definitely always is lurking. Anyway, it's just a matter of time until it becomes less insufferable. At least that's how it went for me.

 

[lastappleonearth]

Who was she and what happened to her?

A girl I could've really had a future with. Nothing bad happened to her fortunately, she's doing fine actually I think, she just moved on

You don't, you just keep on existing until it somehow stops being your number 1 thought overall. Or maybe you do. For me, it's been more than a year since it happened and I still think about her. It's not on my mind 24/7 but it definitely always is lurking. Anyway, it's just a matter of time until it becomes less insufferable. At least that's how it went for me.

Yeah I know, I just wish I could move on quicker, many ppl seem to move on rather quick. I just miss her, she was the only person who was ever close to me. I'm sorry your relationship didn't work out, hope it gets better

 

[tonicer]

A girl I could've really had a future with. Nothing bad happened to her fortunately, she's doing fine actually I think, she just moved on

That's a relief but also sad. I had that happening to me a bunch of years ago.

Her name was Julia and she was wonderful. She was smart and really nice and also very pretty but she never made it her entire character. Last time i saw her was in 2008.
She was a classmate at an evening school i attended back then to get my High School Diploma. I just hope she is happy and healthy.
I never thought for a moment i was good enough for her. I am my biggest enemy.

I still think about her almost every day. I doubt that there is a way to move on. If you find one please share it.

Did you think you had a chance with your love interest?

 

[lastappleonearth]

That's a relief but also sad. I had that happening to me a bunch of years ago.

Her name was Julia and she was wonderful. She was smart and really nice and also very pretty but she never made it her entire character. Last time i saw her was in 2008.
She was a classmate at an evening school i attended back then to get my High School Diploma. I just hope she is happy and healthy.
I never thought for a moment i was good enough for her. I am my biggest enemy.

I still think about her almost every day. I doubt that there is a way to move on. If you find one please share it.

Did you think you had a chance with your love interest?

I'm sorry man, yeah self sabotage is one of my biggest problems. I definitely had a chance and she was extremely patient and tried to make it work for a long time, but eventually she had to leave, I understand that. She begged me to listen to her, but I just wouldn't. Thinking that you're not good enough for someone and subconsciously self sabotaging can turn everyone away eventually, even if they love you very much. In that situation there's just nothing they could do

 

[Vacíø]

I'm sorry. Better things are coming, I mean it. I remember my first breakup. I thought I was going to die alone. Then I got a new girlfriend. We broke up, and again I thought I was going to die alone, but I got a new girlfriend later. We broke up again, and so on. And somehow, I've found myself being both loved and hated at times.
I'm telling you this because I know you're going to grow from that experience and find someone new. I mean, I'm short and boring, and yet, I was enough

 

[lastappleonearth]

I'm sorry. Better things are coming, I mean it. I remember my first breakup. I thought I was going to die alone. Then I got a new girlfriend. We broke up, and again I thought I was going to die alone, but I got a new girlfriend later. We broke up again, and so on. And somehow, I've found myself being both loved and hated at times.
I'm telling you this because I know you're going to grow from that experience and find someone new. I mean, I'm short and boring, and yet, I was enough

You're prob right, but yeah rn it doesn't feel like it. Doesn't make anything better that she rlly was the only person, who was close to me in this world, even though we lived far away from each other. Rn I don't even know where I would meet sb, but one has to cling on to hope ig

 

[Vacíø]

I get you. A breakup really hurts. I hope you get better soon, you can always reach out if you want.

 

[Off_Switch]

Only thing is time. In the meantime, if you have to think about her, ,maybe just think about all the things you DIDN'T like about her.

 

[lastappleonearth]

Only thing is time. In the meantime, if you have to think about her, ,maybe just think about all the things you DIDN'T like about her.

Yeah I try that, but tbh (in this case unfortunately) there weren't that many things I didn't like

 

[violetforever]

how long has it been? im sorry

tbh i never got over someone even after 2 years. i eventually got in contact with them again just to get hurt more by them and add onto the reasons to ctb now. if you can see yourself moving onto another person that will help a lot. my problem is im not open to anyone new. very stuck on this person for 5 years now…

 

[lastappleonearth]

how long has it been? im sorry

tbh i never got over someone even after 2 years. i eventually got in contact with them again just to get hurt more by them and add onto the reasons to ctb now. if you can see yourself moving onto another person that will help a lot. my problem is im not open to anyone new. very stuck on this person for 5 years now…

I'm sorry you got hurt so much. It's been around 8 months without any contact. You know at first, I didn't even comprehend it, like didn't process it completely. It started hitting me the second month tho. She was there for my whole adult life basically, in almost every moment

how long has it been? im sorry

tbh i never got over someone even after 2 years. i eventually got in contact with them again just to get hurt more by them and add onto the reasons to ctb now. if you can see yourself moving onto another person that will help a lot. my problem is im not open to anyone new. very stuck on this person for 5 years now…

I actually tried moving onto another person, well I didn't actively try or search for it, it just happened, but that made everything worse tbh. I just got hurt, used for attention ig and then discarded. But idk, mby if it would've been a different person, who knows

 

[notthatclever]

It gets better.. if the relationship ends badly or there is clear betrayal and the rest.. it's easier to demonize them and quicker to get over.. it it took me about 3 years or so to get over my divorce.. I was in real bad shape and my family wasn't much help or much of a support.. made it all about them and how they felt about my marriage which is insane..

It's a long story.. anyways.. time.. distractions.. I meditated a lot.. I mean I broke up with my boyfriend of almost a year today and I feel nothing about it.. I'm not upset or phased.. I just don't feel that way about love anymore.. maybe it's older wiser.. then part of me thinks I should feel something but I just don't..

I just don't have many feelings anymore..

The last decade has been so brutal.. I just turned my feelings off one day and never really turned them back on..

Nothing phases me nothing surprises or shocks me.. nothing bothers me.. not in the classic sense anyways..

I mean I am epic level apathy these days..

I just do not give a fuck about anything..

People knew what they were doing.. I'm not exactly sure what they thought the result would be.. maybe they're dumber than I thought.. they clearly had too much credit given to them..

I digress.. my ex husband and I were together forever.. he's the father of my only kid.. if he died tomorrow I wouldn't bat an eyelash let alone a tear.

Would not give a single last fuck about it..

Trust me.. he made it clear he felt that way about me the entire time and all along years ago.. I just decided to start feeling the same way..

So time.. mine has a lot of betrayal and lying and scheming and underhanded dirty shady shit to it..

So if yours was nice or a decent or good person it will be harder.. but you can't dwell on the coulda shoulda woulda and maybe she'll come back around to you..

Mine weren't nice so it's easier for me to feel nothing.. they're not good people..

The current one I just broke up with. If he was a nice person.. or a good person.. it would be harder.. but he isn't.. he also had a listening problem.. his is probably way worse than yours is..

So don't beat yourself up too bad.. you're probably a way better person than he is..

Not to compare apples and oranges.. lol.. I'm just saying.. there is always that.. even at your worst romantically you're probably leaps and bounds above any guy/loser I've dated..

Every guy I've been interested in always turned out to be a huge loser one way or the other..

Actual loser.. Major drug problems.. money problems.. job problems., I don't mean economy job market problems.. he has job problems.. I thought he'd been doing better.. I don't know.. he lies to me all the time.. something crazy happened at his work last week and I had to investigate his email and start asking questions to get it out of him. He didn't want to tell me.. he omits the truth or reality and leaves me hanging.. and I get it.. he said he didn't want to ruin my good mood.. he cheated on me all the time and always got caught..

And every guy before him is the same one way or the other.. actual losers..

And he's not neurodivergent and doesn't fit in at work.. he has plenty of friends.. he's just an asshole..

To be fair what they tried to accuse him of at work doesn't seem like him really.. he an asshple but he isn't that far down the rabbit hole that way.. and I don't see him messing his paycheck up on purpose like that.. he's too selfish to mess with his money like that..

It's a long story.. anyways.. I guess time hon.. and maybe you'll feel better you're way better than any loser I've dated if that's any comfort or consolation..


it really is slim pickings out there.. and any time you date somebody at my age the guy does more damage than how he found you.. it's really just not worth it to date anymore.. it really isn't..

And I'm so used to being single this past decade.. I'm not good at it in a certain way anymore.. you need a certain amount of naïveté and blindness to somebody to fall in love that I'm just not capable of anymore.,

I just hate work because I get harassed by guys a lot.. I'm considering investing in a fake wedding ring to be left alone..

Read a good book.. feel free to DM me on here if you want any recommendations for books or movies..

 

[lastappleonearth]

It gets better.. if the relationship ends badly or there is clear betrayal and the rest.. it's easier to demonize them and quicker to get over.. it it took me about 3 years or so to get over my divorce.. I was in real bad shape and my family wasn't much help or much of a support.. made it all about them and how they felt about my marriage which is insane..

It's a long story.. anyways.. time.. distractions.. I meditated a lot.. I mean I broke up with my boyfriend of almost a year today and I feel nothing about it.. I'm not upset or phased.. I just don't feel that way about love anymore.. maybe it's older wiser.. then part of me thinks I should feel something but I just don't..

I just don't have many feelings anymore..

The last decade has been so brutal.. I just turned my feelings off one day and never really turned them back on..

Nothing phases me nothing surprises or shocks me.. nothing bothers me.. not in the classic sense anyways..

I mean I am epic level apathy these days..

I just do not give a fuck about anything..

People knew what they were doing.. I'm not exactly sure what they thought the result would be.. maybe they're dumber than I thought.. they clearly had too much credit given to them..

I digress.. my ex husband and I were together forever.. he's the father of my only kid.. if he died tomorrow I wouldn't bat an eyelash let alone a tear.

Would not give a single last fuck about it..

Trust me.. he made it clear he felt that way about me the entire time and all along years ago.. I just decided to start feeling the same way..

So time.. mine has a lot of betrayal and lying and scheming and underhanded dirty shady shit to it..

So if yours was nice or a decent or good person it will be harder.. but you can't dwell on the coulda shoulda woulda and maybe she'll come back around to you..

Mine weren't nice so it's easier for me to feel nothing.. they're not good people..

The current one I just broke up with. If he was a nice person.. or a good person.. it would be harder.. but he isn't.. he also had a listening problem.. his is probably way worse than yours is..

So don't beat yourself up too bad.. you're probably a way better person than he is..

Not to compare apples and oranges.. lol.. I'm just saying.. there is always that.. even at your worst romantically you're probably leaps and bounds above any guy/loser I've dated..

Every guy I've been interested in always turned out to be a huge loser one way or the other..

Actual loser.. Major drug problems.. money problems.. job problems., I don't mean economy job market problems.. he has job problems.. I thought he'd been doing better.. I don't know.. he lies to me all the time.. something crazy happened at his work last week and I had to investigate his email and start asking questions to get it out of him. He didn't want to tell me.. he omits the truth or reality and leaves me hanging.. and I get it.. he said he didn't want to ruin my good mood.. he cheated on me all the time and always got caught..

And every guy before him is the same one way or the other.. actual losers..

And he's not neurodivergent and doesn't fit in at work.. he has plenty of friends.. he's just an asshole..

To be fair what they tried to accuse him of at work doesn't seem like him really.. he an asshple but he isn't that far down the rabbit hole that way.. and I don't see him messing his paycheck up on purpose like that.. he's too selfish to mess with his money like that..

It's a long story.. anyways.. I guess time hon.. and maybe you'll feel better you're way better than any loser I've dated if that's any comfort or consolation..


it really is slim pickings out there.. and any time you date somebody at my age the guy does more damage than how he found you.. it's really just not worth it to date anymore.. it really isn't..

And I'm so used to being single this past decade.. I'm not good at it in a certain way anymore.. you need a certain amount of naïveté and blindness to somebody to fall in love that I'm just not capable of anymore.,

I just hate work because I get harassed by guys a lot.. I'm considering investing in a fake wedding ring to be left alone..

Read a good book.. feel free to DM me on here if you want any recommendations for books or movies..

I mean yeah, I agree, if they are really just bad people, then in some way I guess that makes it easier to move on. Idk, I'm sorry you had such bad luck when it comes to dating. It just seems like there's a lot of people like the ones you dated out there, who at first might seem sweet and caring, but then turn out to be assholes. In my case it wasn't like that, tough there was some ambiguity I guess, because in some way there was a fair amount of toxicity (from both sides tbh) She threatened me with suicide a few times and cut herself, then showed me in order for me to do or not do a certain thing (nothing major, she just didn't want me meeting up with my friends or sth similar). So idk, I found that quite manipulative and she even admitted that she just used it as a tool to bend me to her will, but I still loved her and the positives just always outweighed the negatives. You definitely need some naïveté to fall in love with someone to begin with I guess. I feel like I'm slowly loosing that ability. Recently I fell in love with sb (mby it was too soon) and I just got discarded after I was led to believe this person loved me

Read a good book.. feel free to DM me on here if you want any recommendations for books or movies..

Thank you, I'll do that, I just finished a book, so I need new material

 

[notthatclever]

I'm sorry.. I had an ex threatened suicide when I tried to break up with him, I get it.. it's a mind fuck.. my ex husband threatened suicide when we were married for 7 years by that point because he had fathered another child behind my back.. I think he threatened suicide so I wouldn't get rightfully as mad at him as I should have been able to..

So yeah I understand when somebody does manipulative shit.. I don't care if somebody is suicidal.. I do, but I don't.. but do it because of your own shit not because you're trying to control somebody else..

I mean it can be bad enough.. and in the end it is actually because of your own shit in life no matter what.. but to put that mind warp on somebody else and they just leave out of this earth and leave them with that.. yeah not good..

Anyways I'm moving next week and if it doesn't work out I'm ending it..

I'm done giving everybody more chances they don't deserve..

I mean I am done done done..

I mean I've been here in this website for a while.. and when I came here I was about to end it then.. but then I felt a bit better and decided to give it one last chance as long as it wasn't in the current idiot hick red neck hellhole I'm in.. but they're such trash stupid lying hicks they can't even let me leave on a good note.. they have to take it to some psychotic lying ass place to the very fucking end..

I already hated this place and the people here but they can bet I fuuuuckiiing haaate them now..

At least they affirmed that I made the right decision to leave..

Some people I think spoke a bit too soon and put their lying foots in their mouth..

At the very least I will hardly if ever have to deal with the pathetic stupid lying bitch ass south again..


I'm just super pissed because not only did I find out that my ex boyfriend is talking to strippers before I'm even gone out of here..

This is like the millionth time he's been caught talking to other girls..

And he's been on his 3rd chance to show to me that he can get his life together..

And treat me right and hold down a job and behave..


And he's been getting caught in lie after lie after lie the past few weeks..

And then other people came at me with lies about money today..

So I'm done..

Not forgiving not looking back never letting anybody back in my life again done..

Not in real life anyways.. nobody is allowed back in my real life again..

I'm fighting the urge really hard to not be suicidal and give this last move a shot..

And the thing is it's not any secret I have MDD.. being suicidal is a major part of my diagnosis..

And people still mess around and fuck off like they do with my life..

I mean they blew the bridge up don't bother trying to build it back.. I'm done..

If it does work out for me financially.. great., but I'm never dating again or having friends again and I've already started steps to legally take my family out of my life..

And what these idiots today did was drive a nasty bitter family fight and turn it right back into all things bad and worse..

And I always tell people.. do not insert yourself into somebody else's business ever but never their family..

It's one thing here everybody is anonymous and venting., we can't directly effect each other..

But when somebody comes into my real life and starts messing around.. there is nothing more that sends me straight out the roof..

And I mean I have a nasty temper.. and I'm holding back on how nasty I can really get.. but they are pushing me..

Because I don't give a fuck about how rich or powerful or anything somebody is.. does not matter to me..

An asshole is an asshole..
But all they did was mess around in already hanging by a thread fragile relationships where I've been severely burned at no fault of my own.. his constant lying and cheating is not my fault..

And eventually one day they're going to see the consequences of their weird creepy meddling..

If they don't back off and go away.. that day is faster than they realize..

And I've been clear that I'm just not a forgive and forget type of person.. I can be really forgiving for normal shit but trust me the things they're doing is not normal..

And you cross certain lines.. I stop forgiving.. and for damn sure not forgetting..

I mean I really just can't forgive.. all the way to taking my own life can't forgive.. and they're just like not getting it I'm never forgiving them.. get out of my life.. and let me live my life in some peace and go the fuck away I'll die first before I accept them..

At least I'm dodging the bullet of the current lying cheating piece of shit I've been dating..

He's nothing but a psychotic gaslighting manipulative head game..
And I've been knowing that.. that's why I didn't give a fuck to hold him down. He couldn't bother to even be a real human let alone try to hold me down.. and in the long run and game.. I'm way out of his league.,

He's nothing but red neck stupid trash.. they all are here..

All their niceness and hospitality in the South.. it's all so fake and superficial..

I think part of him thinks I'm really not leaving..

That is not the case..

I have half a mind if he caused tonight's drama on purpose. See he doesn't get that sends me further down.. see all this stupid happening.. I know I'm right..

Thank you for proving my point..

I absolutely without a shadow of a doubt know I'm 100% right to leave..

All this insane drama in one day.. fuck this..

It's always some insane dramatic bullshit with him..

He kept saying he'll change and he's only gotten worse..

See you can't make anybody change.. all you can really do is give them a few chances and if they don't.. it's time to move on..

And you have to be weary about if they dramatically change over the course of a year or so.. because it could likely be fake..

I've heard horror stories of people with NPD.. they'll make all these changes and the person will take them back.. and they only fake made the changes so they could get back together and get revenge on the person.. and from what he's shown me when I give him chances within the original relationship.. that's what he does..

I've had enough betrayal and backstabbing and insane for one life.. for ten lives..

I'm sick of their stupid insane shit..

All they did was push me all the way away..

And what's worse is they act like I was all that interested much anymore either..

Anyways if the next place fucks up.. I'm done.. ending it over it.. they don't pass go and they don't collect 200 bucks..

I have my "lawyer" basically a former managing attorney I used to work for.. he's got my will and making sure they're all fucked out..

I am going to have him ram a legal arm so far up their ass it comes out of their mouth..

Sorry for the vent.. people lied about money, he cheated again, and Dolly died all in one day.. it's been a lot.,

It's like I am going I am leaving for real.. like when do you stop.. there is nothing left I am done done done.. like when do you stop..

He kept wanting me to go above and beyond for him work wise and the rest., but it's like you don't deserve that of me.. I did that once and he was insane and cheated,.

He had to get his shit together and keep it together before I was going out on that limb again.. he failed..

When you don't know who or what to believe anymore.. there is no point in sticking around., those situations likely don't get better they only get worse..

Other than getting my cats.. once I leave.. I hope to never see or know anybody from my entire life before today ever again..

Not one single person.. I'm done..

I hope things get better.. definitely find something good to read it'll help..

I honestly don't know what would help me anymore.. people sticking their nose in my business, my life, my work, my finances, my relationship.. they're about to catch a restraining order is what they're about to get..

I hope you're feeling better..

 

[Kokonoe]

it's impossible to.