How do you give yourself permission to ctb?

[Ambivalent1]

I think part of me refuses to ctb and will only think about it as a fantasy and wants to keep trying because in the past trying often led to solving whatever the problem was but some problems can't be solved no matter how much effort you inject into it. And the programming of "Never give up!" and "Don't let your problems win," is running in the background acting as a restraint.

 

[INTJme]

By being in a happy and content state of mind. By being grateful for all the experiences, good and bad, and forgiving to everyone and everything that has harmed you or you hold a grudge against. Remember, you first have to ctb in your mind and then the body follows. Unless you have peace of mind, SI will be a pain in the arse and it'll only get worse.

 

[Ambivalent1]

By being in a happy and content state of mind. By being grateful for all the experiences, good and bad, and forgiving to everyone and everything that has harmed you or you hold a grudge against. Remember, you first have to ctb in your mind and then the body follows. Unless you have peace of mind, SI will be a pain in the arse it'll only get worse.

How do you achieve that? Aren't most suicidal people miserable, which is why we consider ctb in the first place?

 

[INTJme]

How do you achieve that? Aren't most suicidal people miserable, which is why we consider ctb in the first place?

You achieve that by letting go.
Let go of righteousness, count your blessings, forgive everyone, and finally forgive yourself.

 

[Ambivalent1]

You achieve that by letting go.
Let go of righteousness, count your blessings, forgive everyone, and finally forgive yourself.

How do I let go?

 

[INTJme]

How do I let go?

This will sound silly but it's really effective if you actually do it:

Grab a pen/pencil and raise your arms forward, parallel to the ground.
Say out loud, "I'm letting go of my anger for this world" while looking at the pen/pencil.
And then drop it.

Take another article.
Say, "I'm giving up my ego, my desires, and all my unhappiness arising out of them."
Drop that too.

Rinse and repeat with as many things you can think of that'll bring you peace. Choose a different article each time though; you don't want to immediately pick up the things that made you miserable.

Good Luck.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I guess at the core of it is our view on life. Does our life matter? For many people, we know our life matters to other people. We hang on because we know how much it would upset them. But I imagine, for some people here, they feel as if to them, it wouldn't matter if they end it. In fact, many think they would be saving themselves some pain by ending it.

For me personally, I don't really buy in to the whole- 'You have to overcome all your problems.' Because- that is put on us entirely by other people- in order to keep us here and keep us complying. Besides- I have fought hard to overcome at least some of my problems and the end results haven't felt worth the effort. Why would life suddenly improve now?

Who am I fighting for? That's the major question I think. If it's still for you. If you can genuinely still feel satisfaction from your achievements. If life still rewards you enough for putting in that effort- then, great. If it's for other people and they feel worth it, then that's a tether you might have to put up with if you can't reconcile breaking it. (In my case.) Otherwise, surely it's just complying and I'd rather rebel against that.

Plus, I suppose I don't really beieve in an afterlife or future consequences for CTB. So- the moment it's over- that's it (hopefully.) No more regrets, no more worry, no more trying. It won't matter to me what I didn't get to achieve.

That's the crux of it though I guess. What is it you still want to achieve in life? Can you? Will it mean enough to you? I suspect we're more ready to let go when we realise that we either can't achieve what we want in life. We have, to some extent achieved it and it hasn't been rewarding enough or, we doubt the end result would be rewarding enough.

 

[Ambivalent1]

I guess at the core of it is our view on life. Does our life matter? For many people, we know our life matters to other people. We hang on because we know how much it would upset them. But I imagine, for some people here, they feel as if to them, it wouldn't matter if they end it. In fact, many think they would be saving themselves some pain by ending it.

For me personally, I don't really buy in to the whole- 'You have to overcome all your problems.' Because- that is put on us entirely by other people- in order to keep us here and keep us complying. Besides- I have fought hard to overcome at least some of my problems and the end results haven't felt worth the effort. Why would life suddenly improve now?

Who am I fighting for? That's the major question I think. If it's still for you. If you can genuinely still feel satisfaction from your achievements. If life still rewards you enough for putting in that effort- then, great. If it's for other people and they feel worth it, then that's a tether you might have to put up with if you can't reconcile breaking it. (In my case.) Otherwise, surely it's just complying and I'd rather rebel against that.

Plus, I suppose I don't really beieve in an afterlife or future consequences for CTB. So- the moment it's over- that's it (hopefully.) No more regrets, no more worry, no more trying. It won't matter to me what I didn't get to achieve.

That's the crux of it though I guess. What is it you still want to achieve in life? Can you? Will it mean enough to you? I suspect we're more ready to let go when we realise that we either can't achieve what we want in life. We have, to some extent achieved it and it hasn't been rewarding enough or, we doubt the end result would be rewarding enough.

Wow. Good answer. I think I live because my ocd compels me too. Because of the abuse I endured as a child, part of me likes to suffer. It's familiar. So I don't know how to get past the fantasy stage. I'm too resilient. One therapist noted how unusual it is for a person to suffer mentally to such a high level almost every second of the day and still keep going.