19-21-8-5-14-25
š£ļø: "The party never ends!"
- Nov 22, 2025
- 35
I don't have the will to CTB anymore. After so many pathetic "attempts" I realised how much of a drag it really is. Life in general, but I am tired of this constant battle with SI.
Started college again, go to day programs with others like me, still in therapy and still on medication and still volunteering and I suppose I have it good. "Life is good" they say, well I still want to go because the concept of life is ridiculous and a joke. I honestly don't understand why I am even here. What a clown show. All an act. Just a circus full of monkeys. I am the biggest monkey, but y'all there too dancing and jumping around doing fuck all because of this meat machine sending and producing chemicals to drive you to do the things you do. Pathetic really. Useless even. Unnecessary.i am tired man. Tired, yet I have given up and I am conforming to what you humans want. I think I am an alien and I am not meant for this planet. What a shit show honestly.
But I digress, this was a stupid dumb venting session in between me need for help on the matter of what to do now that I still want to die but don't have the will to go through anything and just praying for that bitch God to take me free me from this hell I am inhabiting with these beings called humans.
Started college again, go to day programs with others like me, still in therapy and still on medication and still volunteering and I suppose I have it good. "Life is good" they say, well I still want to go because the concept of life is ridiculous and a joke. I honestly don't understand why I am even here. What a clown show. All an act. Just a circus full of monkeys. I am the biggest monkey, but y'all there too dancing and jumping around doing fuck all because of this meat machine sending and producing chemicals to drive you to do the things you do. Pathetic really. Useless even. Unnecessary.i am tired man. Tired, yet I have given up and I am conforming to what you humans want. I think I am an alien and I am not meant for this planet. What a shit show honestly.
But I digress, this was a stupid dumb venting session in between me need for help on the matter of what to do now that I still want to die but don't have the will to go through anything and just praying for that bitch God to take me free me from this hell I am inhabiting with these beings called humans.
