How do you feel right now?

[Mirrory Me]

Good... I was a little hungover in the morning, but then I played my playlist on YouTube. It brings back bright memories from the past. The weather is really beautiful outside- yesterday was the brightest and hottest day in a while.

Then I made some tea and took a couple of grams of nutmeg to strengthen it (it has a somewhat psychoactive effect, it can be used to treat depression, for example).

 

[thepiecessatup]

Ruminative, depressed, tired, shocked, regretful.

 

[Ares]

Terror. Frustration. Pain. Aggravation. Hatred. Envy. Irritation. Bitterness. Resentment.

 

[Ash]

Feeling less numb, which sucks. Practicing masking for when I get my dressings changed later in the hopes of passing my bandaged wrist off as a muscular thing. And then onto the shops so I can binge tonight and hate myself afterwards because I've not done that for a while.

 

[Zazacosta]

Sadness and worries about the future.

 

[abusedanimal6]

empty and broken

 

[JaJu]

Worried/anxious like I'm bracing for my managers to call me out for any errors I've made even though I'm not aware of any... why do I feel like I'm going to fail? It may just be anxiety... I guess we'll see...

 

[Ash]

Headache. Tired. Sick after last night's binge. Trying to avoid contemplating the emotional landscape.

 

[HopingOnaMiracle]

Small rant

Yet another day feeling this way. It won't just go away. Almost a year this fucking illness called depression. Only feels better in the evening, when I don't need to do much. And on alcohol or drugs.

I don't even know what to say anymore. I'm in this forum a lot because I feel less alone. People here that are doing even worse.

The suicidal thoughts are becoming more prevalent. But I know that I won't do it right now. I have family and friends.

Life, I pray just give me better feelings. Push me in the direction of healing. Give me the hope. Why can't life be easy on me foe once.

Life is all about survival now. I have to fight every day and Im beyond tired.

Yesterday I did some work. I was scared and anxious but I still did it. I just wished I can work without feeling threatened. I want my life back. I desperately want my life back. 3 years have been taken from me already.

 

[Ash]

Massive anxiety attack. Dog's got an another upset tummy so I've hoovered the whole house in case it's all the Watership Down-esque dust bunnies and dog hair from weeks and weeks of no proper housework (seriously: I had to dust the cobwebs off the hoover before I could use it) that are causing hair balls or something. Just another item to add to the list of things to feel disgusted about myself. Think the Crisis Team have been trying to ring me but my phone is on silent. I've got a blood test in an hour and I need to hand my postal vote in at the polling station (yes, I know) and then I don't want any more IRL interactions except for the mutt. And she's spending most of her morning out in the back eating grass, poor thing.

 

[moshimoshi]

Incredibly bored and restless and a bit anxious

 

[terra.nuvo]

I'm feeling like a loser

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Tired and anxious

 

[JaJu]

Same.

Very tired, anxious, unsettled, drained, sad that I must continue existing. Can't wait to sleep... after I prepare tomorrow's lunch and get ready for bed...

 

[ConfusedClouds]

Tired and annoyed. Seemed to have lost ability to sleep this week despite being physically active. But always self inflicted (could have tried harder to sleep earlier/screens off, no alcohol etc)

 

[Ash]

Physically tired, nauseous, headache, dehydrated after yesterday's binge and disturbed sleep
Emotionally: once again, not pulling back the curtains to check

 

[Konnsz]

I'm.... Existing, not in a good way, not in a bad way, next week is exam week and I'm incredibly worried about those, but as long as I focus I should be fine

 

[HopingOnaMiracle]

Terrible, like every morning. Dad wil help me with my grocery shopping. I feel too shit to go alone. Too shit to go together. I feel anxiety doing something that used to be so easy. I want to sleep but I'm not tired. I just want to be rid of the daily torture of depression. I would give anything to be cured. When will life give me a break?

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Right now I feel more yearning. I actually have to get up somewhat early but I can't sleep again. I wish I could just tell her how I feel but I'm so scared of rejection and of the negative consequences of making my workplace awkward as a result.

 

[crystal_meth97]

Tired and sick of people in general. As long as I keep to myself, though, and do my thing, I can ignore the outside world and feel a little better and at peace.

 

[moshimoshi]

Feeling really strange, today is my last day in my bedroom I'm honestly going to miss it so much. I'm going to miss the cats a lot. Its going to be very emotionally hard going to the same airport where my friends waited excitedly for me to get off my flight. Now I don't have them I don't have anyone, it's going to feel so empty and I'm probably going to cry a lot. I have a plane flight tomorrow and I'm really anxious about it, also I know the airport is gonna be crowded AF and I'm worried I will have a panic attack or something I hate crowds. But maybe I'll at least be able to get alcohol on the flight lol

 

[Ash]

Feeling really strange, today is my last day in my bedroom I'm honestly going to miss it so much. I'm going to miss the cats a lot. Its going to be very emotionally hard going to the same airport where my friends waited excitedly for me to get off my flight. Now I don't have them I don't have anyone, it's going to feel so empty and I'm probably going to cry a lot. I have a plane flight tomorrow and I'm really anxious about it, also I know the airport is gonna be crowded AF and I'm worried I will have a panic attack or something I hate crowds. But maybe I'll at least be able to get alcohol on the flight lol

I'm sure you know this, but if you can, get there early so you've got time to get your bearings and don't have to rush. It won't help with the crowds but will say least give you time to stop and gather your thoughts whenever necessary or find a quiet spot to hide for a few moments. Also recommend cold drinks as the temperature contrast can keep you alert, and grounding techniques to manage the panic. Good luck xx

 

[moshimoshi]

I'm sure you know this, but if you can, get there early so you've got time to get your bearings and don't have to rush. It won't help with the crowds but will say least give you time to stop and gather your thoughts whenever necessary or find a quiet spot to hide for a few moments. Also recommend cold drinks as the temperature contrast can keep you alert, and grounding techniques to manage the panic. Good luck xx

Ahhh thank you!! I didn't know about the cold drinks and I completely forgot about grounding techniques so I'll make sure I memorize a few. Thank you Ash I appreciate it a lot (•̀ᴗ•́)و

 

[Ash]

Ahhh thank you!! I didn't know about the cold drinks and I completely forgot about grounding techniques so I'll make sure I memorize a few. Thank you Ash I appreciate it a lot (•̀ᴗ•́)و

No worries. I struggle with crowds and departure times so I'm well practiced. The other thing is to go into the toilets and splash cold water on your face, and lean against cold walls.

And if you start to feel panicky, ask a member of staff for help. I know airports have different standards of security but I had a massive panic attack at a train station a few years ago when I lost my ticket and missed my train because of the panic attack, and the security staff were amazing. And the ticket office sorted out a replacement ticket for the next train and got me a seat at the busy cafe closest to the platform so I could have a drink and get my breath back.

I had a similar experience with a security guard at the hospital a while back when I got disoriented and hugged a wall trying to hold back the panic. He calmed me down, got me a cold drink, took me to where I needed to be, waited, took me where I needed to go next, and then stood guard like the world's best shepherd dog by the exit and subtly but deliberately steered everyone away from where he'd found me a seat while I waited for my lift.

My theory is that the individual staff members care about the public and the management don't want disruption so it suits both - and therefore us - to help people before it becomes a problem for everyone.

 

[Alltheywanted]

I feel terrible physically and mentally. Nausea has been ongoing for 2 weeks (probably due to alcohol). I feel bad making moves towards CTB. I want to cry so much, but I can't. I wish I could be more decisive either about suicide or recovery, I hate being in betwen of those two.

 

[ConfusedClouds]

Annoyingly awake again given I had a pants night sleep last night (and a few others this week too) but was still active during the day. Should not have binged a ton of food earlier though. Body probably in overdrive trying to digest a ton of beige/sugar. So shouldn't be complaining, self inflicted.

 

[minashatz]

Ξαπλώνοντας στο κρεβάτι.

Μακάρι να μπορούσα να τηλεμεταφέρομαι στην τελευταία νύχτα που πέρασα με την προηγούμενη κοπέλα μου ή πριν από αυτήν.

Αν όχι αυτό και δεν θα ξαναπεθάνω στον ύπνο μου, θέλω τουλάχιστον να την ονειρευτώ. Να τη δω να χαμογελάει και να την ξαναπιάσω στην αγκαλιά μου και να τη φιλήσω και να την τραβήξω

Ξαπλώνοντας στο κρεβάτι.

Μακάρι να μπορούσα να τηλεμεταφέρομαι στην τελευταία νύχτα που πέρασα με την προηγούμενη κοπέλα μου ή πριν από αυτήν.

Αν όχι αυτό και δεν θα ξαναπεθάνω στον ύπνο μου, θέλω τουλάχιστον να την ονειρευτώ. Να τη δω να χαμογελάει και να την ξαναπιάσω στην αγκαλιά μου και να τη φιλήσω και να την τραβήξω κοντά.

She passed away? Because my did it...she jumped from the roof and every day I think that I want to go to meet her... I tried with h and benzos and alcohol but nothing...just hospital..

 

[Ash]

Woke up at stupid o'clock with a headache and general rubbish feeling, inside and out.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Throbbing headache

 

[JaJu]

Feeling very dull and tired. Performance at work going down. A bit discouraged, but it's nothing I can control, so it is what it is. Really want to rest, but no time. Pretty much at work 12hrs/day. Time to go to bed after coming home for next morning..