How do you feel right now?

[soulkitty]

Really sad and also really strange. I also feel really lonely. I wish I had physical affection right now, I miss it so much. I want to be hugged and I feel pathetic for feeling that way

 

[Ash]

Really sad and also really strange. I also feel really lonely. I wish I had physical affection right now, I miss it so much. I want to be hugged and I feel pathetic for feeling that way

Nothing pathetic about that x

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Really sad and also really strange. I also feel really lonely. I wish I had physical affection right now, I miss it so much. I want to be hugged and I feel pathetic for feeling that way

I want physical touch so bad too, I know most people would say that it's a normal human need, but I can't shake the feeling of patheticness either. Even if I had someone who was willing to give me that, how do you even begin to ask for it?

 

[arnxxx]

Like every morning I feel anxious and sad. I don't know how to survive the day.

 

[Ash]

Bit better physically after more sleep.

Despondent and anxious and full of self loathing.

 

[eatantz]

I feel lost and melancholy

 

[JaJu]

Mixed feelings... on one hand I met a lot of friendly customers today who expressed their appreciation for my help, but on the other hand, I'm still very lacking in efficiency at my job which makes me feel lousy...

Hoping I can have my day off tomorrow and just sleep in to my heart's content without having to think about anything

 

[winterbear]

I feel horrible horrible i hate myselfllffffff:((((((

 

[Ash]

Headache, slow, bit confused? Not really with it. And anxious. Voice in the back of my head being grateful for this thread as it's making me check in with myself.

 

[SomewhatLoved]

Just finished studying anatomy for like 6 hours lol. Keep telling myself that I should live life to the fullest every day and work hard in case this life thing works out but part of me just seems to know it won't. Honestly I'm ok with that.

Hoping this summer when it's nice and warm out maybe I'll end it.

 

[Ash]

Headache, slow, bit confused? Not really with it. And anxious. Voice in the back of my head being grateful for this thread as it's making me check in with myself.

If I didn't know better I'd say I was drunk. Does anaemia make you feel like this?

 

[piddincir]

I feel totally broken.

It's been just over 6 months since I came home and found my wife and soulmate had taken her own life.

It's been hell, I miss her more and more each day. Everyday my depression gets deeper. I loved her with all my heart and my life is nothing without her, I am so lost.

I've tried to rebuild my life , I packed up and left to go travelling but I know that it's not possible for me, life just has no meaning to me anymore.

I have admitted defeat today - all hope is lost . I was trying for my family but I just can't live for others , only for her

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I feel totally broken.

It's been just over 6 months since I came home and found my wife and soulmate had taken her own life.

It's been hell, I miss her more and more each day. Everyday my depression gets deeper. I loved her with all my heart and my life is nothing without her, I am so lost.

I've tried to rebuild my life , I packed up and left to go travelling but I know that it's not possible for me, life just has no meaning to me anymore.

I have admitted defeat today - all hope is lost . I was trying for my family but I just can't live for others , only for her

Oh it's you, once in a while your story pops up in my mind, I'm glad to see you're still with us while at the same time sad for your suffering...

I really wish things can improve for you, somehow, someway... I'm rooting for you, truly.

 

[Eudaimonic]

sad, hopeless, horrified and disgusted by my body
i hate myself so much
i just want it to be over

 

[soulkitty]

Feeling really terrified. I don't know if I'm just being paranoid but I feel I could be pregnant….I highly doubt it but I don't know. I think the odds are pretty unlikely but I've been having a lot of nausea lately and feeling exhausted. I've felt that way before though so it could be nothing. I'm really praying to everything out there that that's not the case, it would be devastating

 

[vak]

It's just a few hours until I share with my therapist everything that's happened in the last six months, especially all the craziness from the last three weeks. I feel like I'm gonna vomit , but I think at least one person needs to hear the full story, even if he wouldn't be able to help me with it, to get some proper closure and someone sane into my life. Wouldn't that be someting? Fu*k me

But lesson learned, can't be unsupervised anymore, can't take care of myself, can't tell who I can trust I just hope I don't get committed, not good for business and losing my job is the last thing I need.

I'm still childishly naive to be somewhat hopeful though

 

[piddincir]

Oh it's you, once in a while your story pops up in my mind, I'm glad to see you're still with us while at the same time sad for your suffering...

I really wish things can improve for you, somehow, someway... I'm rooting for you, truly.

Hey, yeah I am still here . Though less of me is here each passing day as my souls dies a little more .

It's been nearly impossible. I've had to do her funeral , then pack up our house and all our precious memories that almost finished me off. Plus the coroners hearing is scheduled for the 12th June over 8 months. I want to be there to honour her memory and life as it's the last thing I will ever do for her. In a cruel twisted fucked up coincidence that is the day we fell in love 10 years ago.

I promised my parents 6 months but that has come and gone as well but I am losing hope.

I just don't think this has a happy ending for me

 

[robotomy]

It's just a few hours until I share with my therapist everything that's happened in the last six months, especially all the craziness from the last three weeks. I feel like I'm gonna vomit , but I think at least one person needs to hear the full story, even if he wouldn't be able to help me with it, to get some proper closure and someone sane into my life. Wouldn't that be someting? Fu*k me

But lesson learned, can't be unsupervised anymore, can't take care of myself, can't tell who I can trust I just hope I don't get committed, not good for business and losing my job is the last thing I need.

I'm still childishly naive to be somewhat hopeful though

Youre literally eminem if you can squeeze 6 months into a 1 hour therapy session. Either that or i never get to the point

 

[vak]

Youre literally eminem if you can squeeze 6 months into a 1 hour therapy session. Either that or i never get to the point

Yeah, I'm gonna "rap god" it I think Just the highlight reel, I feel like the details will be for months and months and months and months of counseling - until I run out of time at least. Actually being on SaSu helps because you get to talk about your issues openly and without fear, and can clear your head. With similarly struggling and supportive people around I know what I should say. I would be so lost without SaSu, honestly

 

[Ash]

Still feel physically unwell and emotionally exhausted. And my dressings gave up the ghost in the night so my nightshirt is now soaking in a bucket of cold water.

 

[robotomy]

Yeah, I'm gonna "rap god" it I think Just the highlight reel, I feel like the details will be for months and months and months and months of counseling - until I run out of time at least. Actually being on SaSu helps because you get to talk about your issues openly and without fear, and can clear your head. With similarly struggling and supportive people around I know what I should say.

Idk if that easily applies to me. I feel like my issues are a bit too unusual and weird, so ive often held back from talking about them (even including here)

 

[vak]

Idk if that easily applies to me. I feel like my issues are a bit too unusual and weird, so ive often held back from talking about them (even including here)

DM me then, I don't judge We all struggle in different ways, it's ok.

 

[soulkitty]

Hey, yeah I am still here . Though less of me is here each passing day as my souls dies a little more .

It's been nearly impossible. I've had to do her funeral , then pack up our house and all our precious memories that almost finished me off. Plus the coroners hearing is scheduled for the 12th June over 8 months. I want to be there to honour her memory and life as it's the last thing I will ever do for her. In a cruel twisted fucked up coincidence that is the day we fell in love 10 years ago.

I promised my parents 6 months but that has come and gone as well but I am losing hope.

I just don't think this has a happy ending for me

I'm really sorry. My heart aches so much when I read about your story, it makes me want to cry. You're a really kind person, I still remember when you responded to a thread of mine, it really made me feel better. I feel like there's not much I can say of value, because of how horrible of a situation this is. But I want to give you the biggest hug ever same as ForgottenAgain, I'm very much rooting for you and will be keeping you in my thoughts.

 

[robotomy]

Yeah, I'm gonna "rap god" it I think Just the highlight reel, I feel like the details will be for months and months and months and months of counseling - until I run out of time at least. Actually being on SaSu helps because you get to talk about your issues openly and without fear, and can clear your head. With similarly struggling and supportive people around I know what I should say. I would be so lost without SaSu, honestly

Rap god was exactly what i was referring to, cuz i referenced it in someone else's dm yesterday, cuz i dont even know any other eminem song where he's being a Lightning MC-Hammer

 

[JaJu]

Actually feeling okay for the most part—usually feel unsettled and anxious like there's a list of things I've forgotten to do or still need to finish, but I think I've done all I could for now. Really appreciated and enjoyed my days off as I desperately needed the rest. Going back tomorrow... and hoping to get plenty of rest tonight so that my brain is ready to work hard and I won't mess up too much...

Deeply considering whether I should continue or cancel my therapy sessions due to change in situation and needing to pay a monthly premium in order to continue... which I kind of don't want to do... I dislike the thought of adding another monthly cost being that I don't even get paid much... my therapist is a really great person and a huge source of moral support, but that's kind of it. We don't really do any psychological digging as to figuring out whether I have a certain condition or how my history or experiences connect to my struggles and current mindset.. it's just mainly checking in to see how I'm doing and rooting for me to keep going, and maybe that's all I need... but I'm not sure I find that worth paying for out of pocket every month... but I'd also feel bad if I discontinue because my therapist seemed really excited to continue on this journey with me. Then again, it's not like we're friends since they're just doing their job...

Of course, my wish of never existing in the first place will never go away. I guess it's just that it could be worse than what I'm dealing with right now...
Feel really glad that I found SS to get so many thoughts off my chest. Like a safe space, an online home. Thanks, NYTimes!

 

[NullSz00]

Feeling really stressed lately. I kinda miss the days when I didn't have to worry about anything...

 

[BrainShower]

Out of my element, and that's a good thing.
Realizing that I continuously drown myself in a ocean of crap, and I need to escape.
I hope I learn how to do it.

 

[Ash]

Felt more like myself yesterday afternoon, except for being tired exhausted from the anaemia so of course I've woken up this morning with a pounding headache, the first since I started the new painkillers. Trying to not feel too disheartened about this but I wouldn't be on this site if I was able to regulate my emotions and perspectives like that.

 

[soulkitty]

Been nauseous all day, it's horrible. I feel like throwing up right now. Really frustrated and wish it would stop. Also really sleepy. But today I played my instrument a lot which was fun. I played lavender town, Mii channel theme, town with an ocean view (in memory of puffyclouds..), song of storms, gravity falls theme, and cupid (by fifty fifty)

 

[robotomy]

Been nauseous all day, it's horrible. I feel like throwing up right now. Really frustrated and wish it would stop. Also really sleepy. But today I played my instrument a lot which was fun.

Did you not specify your instrument because it's literally water? No need to be embarrassed

I played lavender town, Mii channel theme, town with an ocean view (in memory of puffyclouds..), song of storms, gravity falls theme, and cupid (by fifty fifty)

I dont recognize alot of music posted on this site, but these are all certified bangers in my book. But idk if theyd sound like bangers if played with just water .

The ones I vibe with the most are Song of storms and Town with an ocean view. But my preferred versions are actually variations of them