how do you feel right now? don’t even think about it, just type.

[itsgone2]

I need to get it over with. I've known for months what I need to do. Details need finalized. I'm scared but I'm also not living life.
Insomnia sucks. Writing this a little past 4 am. How many 3 and 4 am wakeups have I had in life? Thousands? It's honestly time to end this.

 

[scenecore fan]

idk, i feel weird, this last couple of days have been smth like a wake up call for me, like i'm finally coming to terms with the idea of kms after years of it just being this wish on my mind... but otherwise, i feel like shit, sad and a bit angry idk...

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Woke up. Does unconsciousness bring relief, or just the half-awake state? At any rate, unconsciousness is the priority now. But hanging hurts. Those are the contents of my mind now. Gotta get unconscious, but it hurts.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Procrastination is my entire lifestyle. Coaching things are going undone. I haven't told anyone I'm out for the spring. I keep using my impending death as an excuse not to do anything. This is getting really bad. The anxiety is mounting but the urge to act is not.

 

[lpdsvm]

Feeling like what is the point? I will not exist anyway. I will get sick one day or even worse. I am not immortal. I will lose my job anyway. Like why should I go to work tomorrow? SN can "cure" me now.
Not like I hate my job. I hate to overthink if I am not enough there
It is because of my pro life policy. No CTB if I can live decently without looking for food or thinking about how to stay safe from any trouble
Funny and sad. I can't...
I am just tired. You know, I might be getting replaced. I don't know. I am tired of thinking. I feel tired. Even if I didn't work still would be tired.

 

[39hatsune]

i feel empty and numb. i feel lost. i don't think i'm doing anything correctly, but i'm so drained at this point i don't really fucking care.

guilty, tired, missing and hating them at the same time, js wanna sleep forever

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Removed from everything, and temporary as a person.

 

[Luna223]

tired, so tired

 

[loslassen]

I feel frustrated and powerless, guilty and stupid and like a total bum. I feel somewhat lost and mostly resentful. I feel so much anger and upset but my inability to express it is leading me to do bad things to myself. I don't want attention, in fact I want to be left the heck alone, I want to cry for days and rot away so maybe I won't have to hold it together all the time and be so numb and hateful.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Ever more deeply ashamed. The way I lived my life was ridiculous in so many ways. I was clueless. A sheltered little boy who never dealt with anything real and thought he was much, much bigger than he was. I've been humbled over and over and it's still not enough. The way I've conducted myself is vomitous. The stream of stupidity that has come from my mouth and fingers. The cowardices, the shrinking from the challenges of growing up. I cannot live with my memory.

 

[whoisit]

I'm a bit more at peace now I know my order is on it's way.