how do you feel right now? don’t even think about it, just type.

[darksouls]

the awakening came too late

 

[darksouls]

cloudflare kicked me out for a few hours

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Stressed, always stressed when there's an issue connecting to the site. What will I ever do without you guys.

 

[v0id]

i feel overwhelmed with everything. i just can't kill myself. i don't even know why. now, the prospect of me having to live with myself for the rest of my life overwhelms me. the fact that it's up to me makes me feel sick. i didn't plan to live this long. i was supposed to die earlier. i should have died. my consciousness is a torture i cannot get rid of

 

[darkandtwisty]

Stressed, anxiety ridden, feelings of being a failure. Desperate for cash.
...... I mean, I'm fine.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

the awakening came too late

Yes, this. I finally know what I needed to know 20 years ago.

 

[motob]

I don't know if i can do this

 

[lost in the lilies]

I'm so tired

 

[MourningFlower]

Feeling unseen and just a touch broken. No hurt, just static and the silent plea for the inevitable, echoing into a void.

 

[thefarter]

i feel so ? hopeless.
and hurt. and confused. and heartbroken.
i thought my work friend had good intentions but i am afraid he might just hate me as much as everyone else. it really sucks.
i always choose the wrong people to trust.
i guess the right person to trust is.. nobody?

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Horrified and ashamed. I've felt this since high school. When did I first start cringing at myself? When did I start doing and saying things I can't live with? I'm not sure but I know it ruined my mental processes. I was never quite a participant in life, I was always half-assing it for the time being, assuming something was about to change. A maladjusted soul, a mislived life.

But it goes on! I keep getting up and going to "work!" (Right now, just coaching high school wrestling). Sticking the kids, their families, and the school with my suicide with a month to go in the season would be pretty shitty. I worry about traumatizing them, but maybe there'd be a wakeup call about living your life well. Don't end up like Coach.

I fantasize about hanging myself later today but I do that every day. It's a lot easier to say you're in your last year than your last minute. But I think I'm over the pain of hanging. I've gone pretty far with partial to the point where it hurts afterward. Stepping down into FSH is possible. Then this whole parade of failure stops. And I don't have to do menial work for decades while my memory torments me with what could have been.

Man, a little wisdom when you're young and can use it and everything's different. The path to a good life was right there and I walked off into the weeds.

 

[itsthattime]

awful, ive made steps to improve my life, but i feel like it always leads back to SI and me sleeping all day. except now my parents are monitoring my mental health constantly, and its my fault because there was a period where i wanted to get better. i put this on myself, i should have stayed in my shitty abusive relationship so id have constant motivation to ctb.