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bbye111

bbye111

absurdism
Dec 26, 2022
63
i hope death comes soon... there's no end to the sleepless nights, pools of tears and dragging yourself just to get through the day. im barely living, and if i do have a time where i feel alive, my mind becomes a traitor.
 
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BlackWednesday

BlackWednesday

Student
Oct 18, 2022
112
These days I'm happiest at work were there is less time for my thoughts to torment me. But there's no getting away from the feeling of dread I have every morning. I hope that soon I'm able to let go
 
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bbye111

bbye111

absurdism
Dec 26, 2022
63
im glad you have something that still gets to uplift you
 
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O

oneeyed

Arcanist
Oct 11, 2022
415
The first thing that came to my head when I read this thread was a mime trying to find a way out of a box. There's no physical walls but you're still trapped.
 
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LaVieEnRose

LaVieEnRose

Angelic
Jul 23, 2022
4,352
In the name of the site
 
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stermc

stermc

libertas quae sera tamen
Nov 24, 2022
946
You described exactly how I am feeling right now. Chaz (who killed himself in 2017), the lead singer of Linkin Park, once said that his mind was not a good neighborhood. That's how I feel. Trapped.
Lately, few things have the capacity to drag me off of it.
I am reading a lot and sometimes it helps, but eventually I catch myself just reading words and thinking about something else.
Television is also not working anymore.
What still helps a little bit is writing. Weather about my feelings or opinions about stuff.
Also drinking (but I am not recommending it).
In the end of the day, it's just you and your mind. There is no scape.
There is only one.
 
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Reactions: Pisceslilith, disillusion, asterisk3 and 8 others
D

don't want it

Member
Dec 14, 2022
99
Escape the life
 
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Green Destiny

Green Destiny

Life isn't worth the trouble.
Nov 16, 2019
879
Reading, video games, maladaptive daydreaming and NSFW stuff.
 
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Reactions: disillusion, asterisk3, Trannydiary and 1 other person
S

SamTam33

Warlock
Oct 9, 2022
763
Wouldn't it be ideal if we could return our brains and other parts, for ones that would make us happy?

That's the kind of features I'd include in my universe if I was an all-powerful and omnipotent being who could create anything I wanted.

I'd want a happy congregation more than anything else.

But nooo... here we are stuck with store-brand parts. Bargain bin brains. And we're pestered to love and accept them as if they were obtained from luxury retailers.

I'm bitter about this.
 
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Reactions: disillusion and Per Ardua Ad Astra
Obliviate

Obliviate

Abandon All Hope
Aug 13, 2022
826
I know exactly how you feel. The one thing we cannot run away from is our anxiety depression saturated mind with a million thoughts racing per second. The only way I found was to be delusional, be less "awake" and "cautious" like the rest of the brainwashed society. Even though most of us here have cracked the code on how ruthless, selfish, and corrupted society is, the only way is to "join" them or atleast pretend to/go undercover. When I'm not thinking about all the tragic world events occurring, that's when I feel the most sane and calm. When I do, I freak the fuck out and feel like I'm going bat shit insane.

I personally will never conform and join our society but you definitely need to just pretend like the word problems don't exist for a period of time for your sanity.

Once you go numb and realize that nothing is "real" and we can literally just die in any second you start to care less.

Something else that reassures is just a biit is looking at posts/videos of those "good news/people" accounts as it gives me a little hope that there are atleast some good people out there although rare cuz let's be honest a lot of evil prevails in this world but there is some good.

Now whether that good happen with us or not is apart of our own "destiny" which is crap but life
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,319
It certainly would be ideal, at least for me, if death came sooner rather than later. There is simply no benefit to prolonging this existence and of course continuing to exist will only lead to unnecessary suffering being experienced. Death really is the only relief from the torture that is existing and that is the reality.

I view it as being the most wonderful thing, to permanently not exist and to be completely unaware of this world as I believe that we just simply cease to exist once we die. I'm tired of all these endless days where I wake up just to realise that I'm still trapped here. There really is no escape from our own mind as long as we stay here, and at least in my case even temporary sleep could never offer much of a relief, as long as the chance of waking up is always there.
 
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Huntfish34

Huntfish34

Enlightened
Mar 13, 2020
1,619
I Try 2 escape with alcohol, weed, and various other substances. Sometimes it works , other times not so much =/
 
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B

BBBB

Member
Jan 13, 2023
167
I can't escape my own mind and all the
I can't escape which is why I'm ready to go!!!
It's constant pain, every second of my waking hours. Sleep or death is the escape.
 
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Reactions: bbye111, asterisk3 and outrider567
ikadasui

ikadasui

Arcanist
May 29, 2018
464
Sleeping. If you're awake you're in the cell unfortunately, friend.
 
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Reactions: Pentobarbital_Plz, bbye111 and asterisk3
GlassAlwaysEmpty

GlassAlwaysEmpty

Red Grapes only
Jun 22, 2020
110
Sleeping tablets and alcohol
 
O

outrider567

Visionary
Apr 5, 2022
2,851
The first thing that came to my head when I read this thread was a mime trying to find a way out of a box. There's no physical walls but you're still trapped.
Trapped yes indeed.......trapped
 
Last edited:
Blahhh

Blahhh

Member
Dec 13, 2022
69
Anxiety meds, sleep and video games. Games don't help that much anymore tho.
Oh and some walks in forest
 
kappa

kappa

Experienced
Apr 2, 2019
233
Free time is bad for me.

I work and go to school. Unfortunately I had to drop all my classes because a teacher fucked up by letting me into a class I wasn't supposed to be in.

Most people would probably enjoy the break, but it means a good 2 1/2 months of me being alone with my thoughts. Much rather have the stress of feeling stupid and worried about deadlines, than free time by myself.

Haven't been drunk in a long ass time, but kinda craving vodka + music to turn off my head.
 
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L

Lostandfound82

Member
Jan 16, 2023
66
I Try 2 escape with alcohol, weed, and various other substances. Sometimes it works , other times not so much =/
I wish I could escape with weed it just gives me horrible anxiety anymore.
 
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Reactions: Huntfish34
Huntfish34

Huntfish34

Enlightened
Mar 13, 2020
1,619
I understand, I know several people that feel the same way. Sadly that's just the nature of the beast I suppose. =/
 
asterisk3

asterisk3

gone
Jan 5, 2023
64
Free time is bad for me.

I work and go to school. Unfortunately I had to drop all my classes because a teacher fucked up by letting me into a class I wasn't supposed to be in.

Most people would probably enjoy the break, but it means a good 2 1/2 months of me being alone with my thoughts. Much rather have the stress of feeling stupid and worried about deadlines, than free time by myself.

Haven't been drunk in a long ass time, but kinda craving vodka + music to turn off my head.
Been feeling like this lately tbqh. Any time I spent "doing nothing" is HELL. Absolute HELL. Stressing myself out makes me even closer to impulse bus-catching but at this point I don't care anymore. All that matters to me is not let my mind roam free, there are simply not enough good things in my day to day life. I wish there were, positive reinforcement is the biggest blessing one can "obtain".

i do these, but just feel so empty, it also feels like im just wasting my life and time
.
I know exactly how you feel. The one thing we cannot run away from is our anxiety depression saturated mind with a million thoughts racing per second. The only way I found was to be delusional, be less "awake" and "cautious" like the rest of the brainwashed society. Even though most of us here have cracked the code on how ruthless, selfish, and corrupted society is, the only way is to "join" them or atleast pretend to/go undercover. When I'm not thinking about all the tragic world events occurring, that's when I feel the most sane and calm. When I do, I freak the fuck out and feel like I'm going bat shit insane.

I personally will never conform and join our society but you definitely need to just pretend like the word problems don't exist for a period of time for your sanity.

Once you go numb and realize that nothing is "real" and we can literally just die in any second you start to care less.

Something else that reassures is just a biit is looking at posts/videos of those "good news/people" accounts as it gives me a little hope that there are atleast some good people out there although rare cuz let's be honest a lot of evil prevails in this world but there is some good.

Now whether that good happen with us or not is apart of our own "destiny" which is crap but life
I used logic to try and analyse this weird world and better live in it, since already as a child it felt like I was in a living hell, endless pain every single day. All that made me discover in the end was that trying to "understand" the world as a whole is one of the worst things you can possibly do to yourself. Sometimes there's no winning with the hilarious circumstances you're given! Not everybody can "make the most out of life".
 
  • Love
  • Aww..
Reactions: Obliviate and bbye111
bbye111

bbye111

absurdism
Dec 26, 2022
63
Been feeling like this lately tbqh. Any time I spent "doing nothing" is HELL. Absolute HELL. Stressing myself out makes me even closer to impulse bus-catching but at this point I don't care anymore. All that matters to me is not let my mind roam free, there are simply not enough good things in my day to day life. I wish there were, positive reinforcement is the biggest blessing one can "obtain".


.

I used logic to try and analyse this weird world and better live in it, since already as a child it felt like I was in a living hell, endless pain every single day. All that made me discover in the end was that trying to "understand" the world as a whole is one of the worst things you can possibly do to yourself. Sometimes there's no winning with the hilarious circumstances you're given! Not everybody can "make the most out of life".
right on with the worst thing you could do to yourself is "understand" the world. you'll discover and realize things you wish you shouldn't have, whats worse is theres a whole lot more, its an endless frenzy of absurdism.
 
  • Like
Reactions: asterisk3 and bluem00n
Kurushii

Kurushii

Student
Jan 14, 2023
137
I find that writing and describing where you currently are in life helps put things in perspective. It also transfers your thoughts to paper and gives you something tangible to work with. I know it's not much but it's still something that might be able to help. Living is agonising but one might as well help themselves if they are able to, if only to ease the suffering a little.
 
disillusion

disillusion

Member
Nov 6, 2020
69
Meditation. Have to practise alot though but it definitely frees from my own thoughts
 
dreambound

dreambound

Student
Dec 14, 2021
110
I have never met a single person who does not have some sort of internal chaos going on...
Its astounding that even with all the obstacles that society & people put on you, you still cant
have the safe haven that your mind should provide....In the case of OCD & such-like, your mind
can torture you free of charge.
I think that our education plays a role in our inner turmoil, It seems criminal that our 'education'
doesn't prepare us for any of this, & in fact we often have to spend the next 20 years un- learning
everything.
I guess its not in society's best interest to inform you correctly, as they would prefer it that you
play your role in the cycle of suffering, & don't question anything.........
 

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