Venting How do I stop trying to make friends?

[grandmotherboxing]

Hey again, another thread what four or five days after that one. I didnt cry in five days so that was a big step for me but, once again, I experience bad things when I try to hang around even online spaces

Idk you guys but I dont really have a way to identify why someone's disloyal and willing to attack out of nowhere. Maybe I just have very strong beliefs about loyalty, but someone can just start a topic and I continue on it and maybe get too descriptive and passionate and they just pretend like they're confused? Like what am I saying, or acting like I'm not there, uncomfortable silence...

It really doesn't compute because if I ask them to be direct I never get an answer? Like I can't really recover from being made to feel so fake and worthless very easily? I dunno. I dont really know what I am doing wrong no matter what, so ive been getting more aggressive when things like this happen which, well, only works in real life with risks and limitations.

I need to try and decide to preserve my loneliness but I seem incapable of it.

 

[kopebaldy]

Reading social cues is a skill that nobody teaches but everyone is required to have.

Some of us don't have the mental capacity to even learn in the first place.

Idk which one you are but one thing I know is if your social group isn't willing to communicate, then it isn't your social group.

Finding new people is hard, let go of old people is hard, being alone is hard. I understand that, I too was in similar situation many times.

But hold on to people who don't see you as one of theirs will only harm you. Just something to ponder over.