How do I make things better

[Rustysoupcan]

I'm currently in a group home for trying to kill myself. I feel better during the day but at night it hits me and I just want to ctb. I cant leave here and there is almost nothing to do here, so I'm always really bored which doesn't help.

I feel like life is just to hard for me. Like daily things like showering and going to work are too much. I don't even have a job right now, but the thought of just going to a job interview makes me wanna die. I don't see much hope for my future. I just want to get out of this group home, but they'll never let me go since I'll never recover. I just don't know what to do.

 

[Dizzy_Dreams]

What you're going to be in the group home forever? How does that work?

 

[Rustysoupcan]

What you're going to be in the group home forever? How does that work?

I'll be here all summer probably. I don't think they can keep me here forever, though I'm not sure about that and they have way more power than me so they can do whatever they want it seems.

 

[Dizzy_Dreams]

How old are you?

 

[Rustysoupcan]

How old are you?

20

 

[Dizzy_Dreams]

What's the group home like?

 

[Rustysoupcan]

What's the group home like?

Theres 8 clients here, the staff make meals for us, we don't really do anything. I just sit around and read or do embroidery. I just try to pass the time any way I can.

 

[Dizzy_Dreams]

Is there any drama or violence

 

[Rustysoupcan]

Is there any drama or violence

No

 

[Dizzy_Dreams]

How are you able to be on SS?

 

[Rustysoupcan]

How are you able to be on SS?

Internet. No offense but what are you getting at with all of these questions?

 

[Dizzy_Dreams]

I've never been in a group home so was wondering what it was like there. I've only been impatient once and we were not allowed internet

 

[Rustysoupcan]

I've never been in a group home so was wondering what it was like there. I've only been impatient once and we were not allowed internet

Yeah, its very different from inpatient

 

[signifying nothing]

I'm currently in a group home for trying to kill myself. I feel better during the day but at night it hits me and I just want to ctb. I cant leave here and there is almost nothing to do here, so I'm always really bored which doesn't help.

I feel like life is just to hard for me. Like daily things like showering and going to work are too much. I don't even have a job right now, but the thought of just going to a job interview makes me wanna die. I don't see much hope for my future. I just want to get out of this group home, but they'll never let me go since I'll never recover. I just don't know what to do.

Could you ask to help out with small jobs towards the running/maintenance of the place? If they're doing everything for you then that'll definitely make you feel bored and depressed.

 

[Dreams and Visions]

I'm not sure which country you live in, but you could just use the time to rest or help out around your group home. I'm not sure if you're looking for suggestions, either, but here are my thoughts.

I don't think you should be so hard on yourself for not feeling productive at this time. Things in the world right now are really unpredictable for everyone, and it sounds like you could a bit of a break.

I understand what it feels like to not feel very motivated, and everything being a challenge, though. Maybe just take baby steps? Plant a seed by getting a good 8 hours of rest, getting up and showering before using your smartphone or the Internet, slipping into something you like to wear, and going for a short walk after you eat breakfast.

Where are you located (country)?

 

[Rustysoupcan]

I'm not sure which country you live in, but you could just use the time to rest or help out around your group home. I'm not sure if you're looking for suggestions, either, but here are my thoughts.

I don't think you should be so hard on yourself for not feeling productive at this time. Things in the world right now are really unpredictable for everyone, and it sounds like you could a bit of a break.

I understand what it feels like to not feel very motivated, and everything being a challenge, though. Maybe just take baby steps? Plant a seed by getting a good 8 hours of rest, getting up and showering before using your smartphone or the Internet, slipping into something you like to wear, and going for a short walk after you eat breakfast.

Where are you located (country)?

I'm in the US. And it's not that I'm not being productive, because I'm definitely fine with being lazy lol. It's just that I've been here 3 weeks and all I have done for 3 weeks is read, watch TV, or do embroidery. That gets very boring after just 1 week. I'm already sleeping well, I don't shower every single day but usually every other day which is what works for me. I can try going on walks more but I cant go very far.

Could you ask to help out with small jobs towards the running/maintenance of the place? If they're doing everything for you then that'll definitely make you feel bored and depressed.

They give us little chores to do, so there isn't really anything to be done. Like everything is already clean, the only thing is making meals.

 

[bea1974]

I have nothing helpful to say really but just want to send some love and solidarity your way. I'm in a psych ward in London, England, and strongly relate.

 

[Dreams and Visions]

I'm in the US. And it's not that I'm not being productive, because I'm definitely fine with being lazy lol. It's just that I've been here 3 weeks and all I have done for 3 weeks is read, watch TV, or do embroidery. That gets very boring after just 1 week. I'm already sleeping well, I don't shower every single day but usually every other day which is what works for me. I can try going on walks more but I cant go very far.

They give us little chores to do, so there isn't really anything to be done. Like everything is already clean, the only thing is making meals.

That makes sense.

I have a couple of suggestions on how to occupy your time (although I get it if that's not what you are looking for).

Working toward a college degree

You could work toward CLEPing out of classes so you can get an Associate's degree for free.

Here's more information:
www.modernstates.org

They provide all the course materials and testing fees so you can earn credit for your general ed's if you want to transfer to community college or a university.

AmeriCorps

www.americorps.gov

This might be for a little later, but since it seems like you like keeping occupied, it might be something to work toward. You could become an AmeriCorps NCCC volunteer where you do community service projects with other people your age. There's also other projects focused on things like mental health, the opioid crisis, etc. The application process can take a little bit of time, but it could help with something to look forward to and to plan on while you anticipate the next phase of your life.

Both of these are engaging things you could do that don't require job interviews or dealing with that kind of stuff. Let me know if you want other ideas/suggestions.

 

[Mentalmick]

I suppose I stay in a similar environment, although not as restrictive. We're allowed to do most things, within reason. Even self harm, well, they don't stop me anyway.

 

[WornOutLife]

If you wanna leave that place soon, just do whatever they tell you to do. Be a nice guy until you get your freedom back.
Once you're free again, you'll realize what the best to do is.
If you still wanna leave this world by then, you'll be able to have a proper plan and not act impulsively.

As for the boring part, well, I was a month in hospital so I know what it feels like. What about asking for a higher dose or more sleeping pills? Tell them you can't sleep at all. That way, time will go faster during the night at least...

 

[Sensei]

You could try meditation. After all, you're in a peaceful environment and have much time at your hands.

 

[bea1974]

And/or just keep chatting with us!
Some of us can be quite entertaining.
Even the annoying ones, at least they are diverting ;)