How do adult single men handle the loneliness?

[Disappointered]

Here we go...this is where the origins of this site rear their ugly head.

You can argue about how valuable the company women can get is but you can't pretend that women can easily find male company.

You can argue about how valuable the company women can get is but you can't pretend that women can easily find male company.

to clarify, this was a typo lol. I'm still the bad guy here. I meant to say " but you can't pretend that women *can't* easily find male company.

 

[botanormal]

I've been reading through the posts in this thread, and it's really interesting to see the different opinions people have on the topic of males vs females finding company. If I may post my own thoughts, I think finding company as a woman is equally as difficult as it would be for a man, just for different reasons.

You have to be extra careful who you're interacting with as a woman, for you never really know what the other person's intentions are. It could be anything from them just wanting sex, to something a lot more sinister, and so you really can't just take any company you're offered, even if you're desperately lonely. You may think it's not common, but it's something that's actively on many women's minds as they're looking for companionship. Finding someone who will spend time with you, who also has good intentions, is harder than it might seem at first. So you can't always get company just because you want it as a woman, because it may genuinely put you in danger to do so, or at the very least put you into an extremely uncomfortable situation that might feel even worse than the loneliness.

Not that I'm saying women have it harder, I know men also find it difficult for many different reasons to find company. But suggesting women have it easier, and can easily get company if they really wanted it, is a little ignorant imo. I hope nobody takes any offence to this, just wanted to share my opinion. I know loneliness is very painful, and I'm sorry it's something so many of us have to experience. Sending hugs to everyone here!

 

[CoalmineCanary]

Everyone gets lonely. Women too. We happen to have some serious trust issues with each other going back millenniums.
It's unfortunate that a simple friendship is so difficult under our behavioral circumstances otherwise maybe we could all be a little less lonely?
Sorry, that wishful thinking thing is going on again.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

My sisters from other misters, I don't understand why women have joined this conversation. A dude was asking other dudes a legitimate question. Men experience things distinctively differently than women sometimes. And the conversation did not start as nor (yet) devolve into a ball-scratching, pussy-grabbing, misogynistic, objectifying, or otherwise creepy thread. Okay, maybe there's some ball scratching going on behind the screens, but can we leave them in peace to do that in their own space? Can we let them leave the toilet seat up here? Can we refrain from putting floral arrangements and scented candles in their man cave? Can we not womansplain?

 

[CoalmineCanary]

Did not mean to impose. Many apologies.
Totally wishful thinking about friendships.

 

[Apathy79]

As an adult single man who has chosen to live life as a hermit almost completely removed from society, I'd suggest looking into why you see being alone as a bad thing. Is it because you can't stand your own company? Because if you can't, others won't be able to either. So what needs to change so you can?

If you succeed in fixing that one, you will probably find you have no interest in being with other people anyway, but it won't be an issue finding people if you want!

 

[hoping to lose hope]

I pay women on Onlyfans to talk to me

Can I ask if the interactions are more meaningful than you would have by talking to a female friend online?

 

[Brick In The Wall]

So finding women isn't hard for me, but even during my marriage or subsequent relationships I've still felt alone. People don't change how alone you feel, I've stopped trying to fill that void, as it can't be filled.

 

[hoping to lose hope]

I think finding company as a woman is equally as difficult as it would be for a man, just for different reasons.

I agree and the same can be said for when men claim it is easier to find love as a woman.
People mistake relationships built with the intention of sexual experiences with that of true love and this is not the case at all.
It can be so disheartening to have yet another boyfriend that only wanted you for your body and LIED about themselves to try appeal to you...


The grass is always greener..
If you are a woman who simply wants a receptacle for your thoughts and nothing more than you are luckier but if you want genuine deep conversations it is a lot harder to find..

 

[StringPuppet]

Can I ask if the interactions are more meaningful than you would have by talking to a female friend online?

Probably not more meaningful but it's easier imo

 

[hoping to lose hope]

Probably not more meaningful but it's easier imo

Have you tried to just make a friend online or a friend that is a girl if you value the feminine perspective?
That way you can learn about each other and have some great conversations over time.
The girls you pay to like talk to you are not really going to be honest with you and just want your money.
Um so I am totally ignorant of the only fans thing so don't shoot me for this but can I ask if you would be open to telling me how much you pay to talk to them?
Do you pay a subscription fee or do you pay per message??

 

[lost guy]

I've been reading through the posts in this thread, and it's really interesting to see the different opinions people have on the topic of males vs females finding company. If I may post my own thoughts, I think finding company as a woman is equally as difficult as it would be for a man, just for different reasons.

You have to be extra careful who you're interacting with as a woman, for you never really know what the other person's intentions are. It could be anything from them just wanting sex, to something a lot more sinister, and so you really can't just take any company you're offered, even if you're desperately lonely. You may think it's not common, but it's something that's actively on many women's minds as they're looking for companionship. Finding someone who will spend time with you, who also has good intentions, is harder than it might seem at first. So you can't always get company just because you want it as a woman, because it may genuinely put you in danger to do so, or at the very least put you into an extremely uncomfortable situation that might feel even worse than the loneliness.

Not that I'm saying women have it harder, I know men also find it difficult for many different reasons to find company. But suggesting women have it easier, and can easily get company if they really wanted it, is a little ignorant imo. I hope nobody takes any offence to this, just wanted to share my opinion. I know loneliness is very painful, and I'm sorry it's something so many of us have to experience. Sending hugs to everyone here!

I agree with you that it is tough for women to find good company. As a man, and I'm not speaking for all women, I have noticed that most women tend to be less attracted to the nice guy in the long run.

Perhaps this only speaks of my personal experience or I've just had bad luck? However, I do believe that in most cases, it takes a person to deviate from their comfort zone a bit to find good company. Change standards; they don't necessarily have to be lowered.

 

[hoping to lose hope]

Hopefully my statement didn't come off ass women owe nice guys anything, romantic or sexual. That was not my intention.

Not at all.
Rest assured I did not take it that way.

 

[StringPuppet]

Have you tried to just make a friend online or a friend that is a girl if you value the feminine perspective?
That way you can learn about each other and have some great conversations over time.

I actually don't go on many websites so no not really.

The girls you pay to like talk to you are not really going to be honest with you and just want your money.

I know what you mean but the convos are usually casual, I don't use them to boost my ego

Um so I am totally ignorant of the only fans thing so don't shoot me for this but can I ask if you would be open to telling me how much you pay to talk to them?
Do you pay a subscription fee or do you pay per message??

I should first clarify that there's only been one woman so far and she doesn't charge outside of her subscription fee but I did send her tips the more she talked to me. She's really cool and despite responding daily I don't think she expects anymore tips from me, but I'll still do it because it's the only way I can show her I appreciate her time

 

[botanormal]

I agree with you that it is tough for women to find good company. As a man, and I'm not speaking for all women, I have noticed that most women tend to be less attracted to the nice guy in the long run.

To be fair, there are a lot of negative connotations surrounding the term 'nice guy'. You see a lot of people acting nice to try and get something from women, however if a woman were to deny them they'd suddenly stop acting so nice, and start treating you pretty nastily. Not that all guys are like that, and I'm certainly not implying you are! Just specifically some guys who claim to be nice end up being not so nice, so it's not always easy to differentiate between those who are genuine and those who aren't. That's just my personal experience, and from what I've heard from other women. I guess when it comes down to attractions, everyone has different tastes. Can I ask, if you notice women don't tend to go for the nice guys, what type of guy do you see women usually going for? I'm in no way trying to invalidate your experiences by my response, and I hope I'm not coming across that way, I just wanted to share my perspective! Thank you for sharing yours, too. @hoping to lose hope also made some great points!

Also, sorry for derailing this thread! I know it was targeted towards men, and I don't mean to interject myself into that as a woman.

 

[hoping to lose hope]

I actually don't go on many websites so no not really.



I know what you mean but the convos are usually casual, I don't use them to boost my ego



I should first clarify that there's only been one woman so far and she doesn't charge outside of her subscription fee but I did send her tips the more she talked to me. She's really cool and despite responding daily I don't think she expects anymore tips from me, but I'll still do it because it's the only way I can show her I appreciate her time

What is onlyfans anyway?
For men who are fans of certain woman in general or only for sexual reasons?

Is it a platonic relationship you want with a woman because it seems you could have one if you talked to more people and naturally found friends.
Woman generally just get turned off when men get creepy in chats with them so if you avoid that you could make some friends for sure and you do not give off creepy vibes just lonely which is something nearly everyone experiences.

 

[Amumu]

I think that's more difficult to handle loneliness when you were single as a teenager.
These years develop the individual's personality.

 

[lost guy]

In my experience, I have seen women go for who are nice guys as well, but maybe it just becomes bland and boring for them?

But to answer your question, I have had dating experiences in which women will admit that they, for some reason or another, go for men who blow them off or treat them badly.

The true reason for that, I have no explanation.

I think that's more difficult to handle loneliness when you were single as a teenager.
These years develop the individual's personality.

And to be fair and put things in perspective, my ex dumped me after 11 years. Her reasoning for that was she "wasn't in love with me anymore." I understand that people inevitably change, especially after so many years. But I always felt true love was beyond that. She was great to me and I know was was great to her. So I guess I can chalk her break up with me as our relationship became boring and bland for her.

 

[hoping to lose hope]

In my experience, I have seen women go for who are nice guys as well, but maybe it just becomes bland and boring for them?

Woman want someone who is able to understand them and offer emotional support plus excite them.
Not all woman are the same and really we should not be changing ourselves at all to appeal to a possible partner.

We should be trying to become the best version of ourselves though.

 

[lost guy]

Woman want someone who is able to understand them and offer emotional support plus excite them.
Not all woman are the same and really we should not be changing ourselves at all to appeal to a possible partner.

We should be trying to become the best version of ourselves though.

I do agree with you on that.

 

[StringPuppet]

What is onlyfans anyway?
For men who are fans of certain woman in general or only for sexual reasons?

I think it was originally supposed to be for all kinds of content creators but quickly became mostly porn lol.

Is it a platonic relationship you want with a woman because it seems you could have one if you talked to more people and naturally found friends.
Woman generally just get turned off when men get creepy in chats with them so if you avoid that you could make some friends for sure and you do not give off creepy vibes just lonely which is something nearly everyone experiences.

Honestly I was okay with just being a supporter of hers which would have made it platonic I guess, but she's kind of been steering it in a more serious direction. Making me offers to hang out and such. I don't have the heart to tell her that I'm ugly and inexperienced so idk where the whole thing is going lmao. In general though idk what I'm looking for, I was mostly content on being lonely, not sure what changed that

 

[Kramer]

I've been reading through the posts in this thread, and it's really interesting to see the different opinions people have on the topic of males vs females finding company. If I may post my own thoughts, I think finding company as a woman is equally as difficult as it would be for a man, just for different reasons.

You have to be extra careful who you're interacting with as a woman, for you never really know what the other person's intentions are. It could be anything from them just wanting sex, to something a lot more sinister, and so you really can't just take any company you're offered, even if you're desperately lonely. You may think it's not common, but it's something that's actively on many women's minds as they're looking for companionship. Finding someone who will spend time with you, who also has good intentions, is harder than it might seem at first. So you can't always get company just because you want it as a woman, because it may genuinely put you in danger to do so, or at the very least put you into an extremely uncomfortable situation that might feel even worse than the loneliness.

Not that I'm saying women have it harder, I know men also find it difficult for many different reasons to find company. But suggesting women have it easier, and can easily get company if they really wanted it, is a little ignorant imo. I hope nobody takes any offence to this, just wanted to share my opinion. I know loneliness is very painful, and I'm sorry it's something so many of us have to experience. Sending hugs to everyone here!

I understand. I've known very few decent men in my life. Many guys fake their relationships just to get sex. I suppose that's why women never give me a chance. They think I'm like the rest.

 

[hoping to lose hope]

Honestly I was okay with just being a supporter of hers which would have made it platonic I guess, but she's kind of been steering it in a more serious direction. Making me offers to hang out and such.

If you are giving her money then it is almost certain that she is only interacting to keep you orbiting and paying betabux.
If she is having in depth conversations with you it may not be that way but you should be able to tell by considering how much time she is using to respond to you.
Would you even want a gf who sells her porn on the internet?

You seem nice I hope someone can see you for who you are and not your offline avatar.

 

[Kramer]

As an adult single man who has chosen to live life as a hermit almost completely removed from society, I'd suggest looking into why you see being alone as a bad thing. Is it because you can't stand your own company? Because if you can't, others won't be able to either. So what needs to change so you can?

If you succeed in fixing that one, you will probably find you have no interest in being with other people anyway, but it won't be an issue finding people if you want!

I just want a companion. Sex is a factor of course but randoms don't interest me. I've been alone for years and was okay with it until my late 20s. Women liked me and that was enough. I didn't need to be with anyone.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

I think it was originally supposed to be for all kinds of content creators but quickly became mostly porn lol.




Honestly I was okay with just being a supporter of hers which would have made it platonic I guess, but she's kind of been steering it in a more serious direction. Making me offers to hang out and such. I don't have the heart to tell her that I'm ugly and inexperienced so idk where the whole thing is going lmao. In general though idk what I'm looking for, I was mostly content on being lonely, not sure what changed that

Yes, she'll charge you more money to hang out with her in the real world. Please don't be drawn in by that.

 

[Kramer]

So finding women isn't hard for me, but even during my marriage or subsequent relationships I've still felt alone. People don't change how alone you feel, I've stopped trying to fill that void, as it can't be filled.

Girls I've connected with have filled the void for me. It didn't progress very far but it was fulfilling while it lasted.

 

[hoping to lose hope]

Yes, she'll charge you more money to hang out with her in the real world. Please don't be drawn in by that.

Is it rude to suggest someone consider not giving random E girls money?
I am afraid it is a controversial opinion and I will get banned in this subreddit.

 

[Kramer]

Is it rude to suggest someone consider not giving random E girls money?
I am afraid it is a controversial opinion and I will get banned in this subreddit.

This isn't reddit. I think people should avoid e-girls for their own sake. Might as well just see an escort.

 

[StringPuppet]

If you are giving her money then it is almost certain that she is only interacting to keep you orbiting and paying betabux.
If she is having in depth conversations with you it may not be that way but you should be able to tell by considering how much time she is using to respond to you.

You could be right, maybe she just wants to keep me happy as a subscriber, but she chose a risky way to do it. If I wasn't a mess I would have took her up on her offer by now

Would you even want a gf who sells her porn on the internet?

She definitely didn't say we should date, I think it was meant more as a fwb sort of thing lol

Though tbh I wouldn't mind having a gf that just made solo content

 

[hoping to lose hope]

You could be right, maybe she just wants to keep me happy as a subscriber, but she chose a risky way to do it. If I wasn't a mess I would have took her up on her offer by now



She definitely didn't say we should date, I think it was meant more as a fwb sort of thing lol

Though tbh I wouldn't mind having a gf that just made solo content

She does porn so there is a very good chance she has low self esteem and may actually find your so called below average looks you have claimed to have to be a bonus due to her insecurities and fear of abandonment.
A good part of the reason these woman post their nudes at all is to validate their existence and reassure themselves they have value.