How did your parents react to you being suicidal

[Sunoo]

For me it was a month ago I was crying and I finally told them and all they said was that I had to pray more and It was just the devil playing with my mind and then continued to call me lazy and ungrateful lol
I was wondering how other parents reacted?

 

[kyuuketsuki]

the first time i told my mother was during an argument. she was mad at me because i was doing poorly in school, i told her i couldn't focus well or put enough energy into it since i just wanted to die. her response was, "how do you think you make me feel?" as in, i make her feel like she wants to die too. really helpful to tell a suicidal teenager that.

 

[hevlalab]

Aw I'm sorry about your parents' reactions. I feel like if I told my parents I was suicidal they would have just asked why and brushed it off but what I actually did was attempt to CTB without telling anyone. I had tried to hang myself with a belt in my uni room leaving a red mark around my neck and my flat mate noticed and called my mum immediately. Next thing I know my dad was driving 3 hours at midnight to come pick me up with my mum crying the whole journey

 

[kelimackie]

I had a failed suicide attempt where my parents drove to the motel I was in to directly get me, the receptionist opened the door for them. I cried a lot and my dad said everything will be okay, put me into therapy and meds. I quitted soon later but he asks me sometimes if I'm feeling better which I always say yes.

6 months from now and I'm planning again, I know they will be devastated, but I really can't bring myself to live for long.

 

[AgentOrange]

Practically the same. When I was 10-11ish my parents caught me strangling myself with a towel. They are very conservative and evangelical and immediately put me into "therapy." The therapy was from my pastor. One of the first lessons I received was that I wasn't loving God's creation. If I actually loved God and his creation, I would begin to love myself. They then prescribed me extra prayer. I remember distinctly one lesson on John 15. The verse was "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned." They told me that if don't produce fruit in Gods name, he will prune me off which served as explanation as to why I wanted to kill myself. My dad especially thought that I was just doing this for attention and if I actually wanted to die I would "figure it out."

Im sorry your parents treated with you such apathy. People deserve to have authority figures they can trust. The world sucks and I'm sorry you weren't birthed into a better family.

 

[Sunoo]

the first time i told my mother was during an argument. she was mad at me because i was doing poorly in school, i told her i couldn't focus well or put enough energy into it since i just wanted to die. her response was, "how do you think you make me feel?" as in, i make her feel like she wants to die too. really helpful to tell a suicidal teenager that.

Awh I'm so sorry you don't deserve that. My parents were saying stuff like that too like today they were saying how much I've ruined their lives and how I'm feeling is making them want to die. Parents can sometimes be selfish, I know they have feelings too but I wish they could think about how we feel sometimes

Practically the same. When I was 10-11ish my parents caught me strangling myself with a towel. They are very conservative and evangelical and immediately put me into "therapy." The therapy was from my pastor. One of the first lessons I received was that I wasn't loving God's creation. If I actually loved God and his creation, I would begin to love myself. They then prescribed me extra prayer. I remember distinctly one lesson on John 15. The verse was "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned." They told me that if don't produce fruit in Gods name, he will prune me off which served as explanation as to why I wanted to kill myself. My dad especially thought that I was just doing this for attention and if I actually wanted to die I would "figure it out."

Im sorry your parents treated with you such apathy. People deserve to have authority figures they can trust. The world sucks and I'm sorry you weren't birthed into a better family.

Thank you I wish the same with you. I can relate to so much of what you just said, they made me go to a religious leader too and they thought him reading to me would cure me. And they also think I'm lying and everything I was doing was an attempt to make my parents mad like what? Why would I try to ctb to make my parents angry like??? Thank you though I wish you the best

 

[HighFlight]

Next thing I know my dad was driving 3 hours at midnight to come pick me up with my mum crying the whole journey

If you feel like sharing, what happened after they picked you up?

 

[playd3ad.]

my dad straight up brushed my attempt off and pretty much told me i'm just giving him more grief and issues. the most he'll do is offer to throw me back into therapy for theee fourth time i think? he doesn't wanna deal with it. my mom tries to be encouraging / comforting but she's just as fucked up as me lol.

 

[AgentOrange]

I was doing was an attempt to make my parents mad like what? Why would I try to ctb to make my parents angry like???

I think there is a lot of social misinformation on that idea too. Not to point out the obvious, but media like 13 Reasons Why have given off the idea that people CTB to make a point to everyone who wronged them. "They'll miss me when I'm gone…" "they'll be sorry…" or stuff like that. Not many people understand that CTB ideated people are there due to being unable to cope with the hardships in their lives or because of their mental illness. Obviously environmental factors play a huge role, but people are suffering man and in most societies its hard to get help. Sorry for the incoherent rant, but I hate when people are so… apathetic.

 

[BlazingBob]

My parents don't give a shit. My dad has actually encouraged me to ctb more than once. I learned a long time ago that you can't make someone love you. It still hurts. What they think is a non issue.

 

[HighFlight]

Parents can sometimes be selfish, I know they have feelings too but I wish they could think about how we feel sometimes

So true... parents are humans, and they will make mistakes, act selfishly, lash out in anger, or generally respond in a way consistent with their upbringing. Unfortunately, learning that your child doesn't want to live anymore comes as a shock that covers a wide range of emotions. The good parents will want to help anyway they can, but you'll also get indifference (not my child) or anger (how could you do this to me).

Except in certain circumstances (abuse, etc), I always suggest keeping the communication open. Don't start with "Mom, I want to ctb." But may, "Mom, I'm having a hard time with...". Maybe, you might find a positive connection which will make things easier, regardless of the path you ultimately choose.

 

[hevlalab]

If you feel like sharing, what happened after they picked you up?

Well when they got to my uni accomodation my dad called me crazy in front of my flat mates and said I was losing my mind. The whole journey back was silent and took all night to get home as the road back had been closed due to road works, he had to go the longer way back which meant we eventually got home around 7am. My dad and mum missed work the next day and my sister didn't end up going to school as they all wanted to be with me. I had to go to the GP and tell her I tried to commit suicide, she prescribed me antidepressants and referred me to the mental health service. I met with my therapist weekly, she's great. Albeit I don't think I've improved that much in the 4 months of seeing her but it's nice talking to her

 

[Mäximum]

Haven't told them jet and probably never will. They'll just try to stop me.

 

[derpyderpins]

Never told them. No chance it would be good for me.

 

[jan28]

I never told my parents that I was suicidal, but I did tell them that I was taking antidepressants. My mother thought that taking medication was 'cheating' and begged me to stop. My father told me to 'just get it over with' if I was actually suicidal.

I'm still taking the pills, but I'm trying to keep them hidden. idk what will happen if I'm found out.

 

[wiinterfrost]

my "father" laughed it off and told me i was being too dramatic (that was when i was 13).
my "mother" ignored it, making it about her in the end... she frequently said she was going to kill herself in her screaming rants as a child so she did that again. probably couldn't stand that i was the one "putting the attention on me" this time with SI. my teachers had found out eventually when i was like 17 and my parents acted all surprised and put on their act of concerned parents. was still getting abused though. anyways i haven't talked to them in a few years now but yeah their reactions weren't great.

I never told my parents that I was suicidal, but I did tell them that I was taking antidepressants. My mother thought that taking medication was 'cheating' and begged me to stop. My father told me to 'just get it over with' if I was actually suicidal.

I'm still taking the pills, but I'm trying to keep them hidden. idk what will happen if I'm found out.

omg what, that sucks, i am sorry. especially since taking antidepressants is actually taking steps to help yourself, like they should be proud. i hope they don't find them either!

 

[dwtsleepy123]

when i told my mother i wanted to see a mental health professional or a doctor for a diagnosis, she said that i was just lazy and i had too much free time to be imagining all my problems, and that i should use my time to study or help her.
She said that if i kill myself i will be wasting all the resources and effort she invested in me, and that she should be the one that was depressed, not me.
She also said that if i wanted to kill myself i should just do it faster so i could stop wasting everyone's time (little does she know that she will get her wish very soon)

so yeah, i cant imagine ever telling my mother that im suicidal

 

[maka]

Every time I express feeling suicidal my mom always tells me that there's plenty of chemicals i can drink to kill myself. Even if I don't mention it and just say I'm sad, she tells me to kill myself.

 

[Chronicoverwhelm]

I had a failed attempt as a teenager in the 90s. My dad was the one who took me to the ER as my mom wanted nothing to do with any of it. Once I got home it was never spoken of and my mother stonewalled me.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

My mom is pretty distraught clearly (I survived a previous attempt) but I just don't really care. Too busy thinking about acquiring the resources to CBT

 

[StellaSomnus]

My parents were worried and stressed out. My dad made very long messages for me to read in hopes that I find peace or calm down. He pleaded for me to not kill myself and that he will pay for the expenses for me to fly back home and discuss potential career changes or something to do with the future.

Key word is 'were'. That was on May. Now they (probably) don't give a fuck about my suicidal tendencies and that they think I'm just attention seeking.

Which is great, because I'm gonna pull what's called a pro-gamer move and ctb.

 

[Trakehner]

I tried to ctb for the first time when I was 13. They thought I did it for attention.

Nowadays, if I were to bring up being suicidal, my mom would guilt trip me by saying things like my life isn't that bad and essentially that I should have grown up poor so I would appreciate what I have more.

I keep it to myself now.

 

[Slowdeath]

Haven't told my mom that i often think about kms, but i have told her that i have been cutting. she asked if i wanted to talk to someone about it, to which i responded no, and that was that ;/

idk how to feel about it really.

she hasn't asked about my habits since (~6 months) so i imagine if i told her how i'm feeling now it would go more or less the same

 

[hopelesswanderer]

My mom was really compassionate and supportive. My dad told me real men don't get depressed, happiness is a choice, and I should stop burdening my mom with these feelings. I think about his response a lot.

 

[mob]

I told my mother about being suicidal when I was about 14-15 years old, so it's been a few years since then. However, despite my usually bad memory I remember it quite vividly.

I told her during an argument, when I was close to having a meltdown. I just wanted her to understand the severity of my mental illness after my first attempt.
She told me that I have absolutely no reason to be suicidal, she's got more of a reason to be.
She then told me she'd arrange someone who'd read the Quran to me (I'm a non-believer), and to pet the cats if I get sad. (Only helpful thing she's said, ever. lol)

My father doesn't know about it and probably never will.

I didn't mention my suicidality ever again.

 

[Freyja13]

Hard to really remember the first time. I know whenever I would tell them how I was truly feeling when they would ask me I'd just get responses like "well why not be happy" and shit like that. They literally don't understand how to help someone with depression even though it runs in the fucking family lmao. I remember another time I was cutting myself in my room with the lights off and my mom came in, turned on the lights, and saw what I was doing for the first time and immediately ran away. I was just left there like wtf just happened... Never came back to check on me that night lmao. Honestly I just try not to think about it or talk to them about it anymore. Or anyone really xD

 

[sadmailman]

Years ago when my mom found out about it she threatened to send me to an orphanage to "see how others really suffer" and that I was simply spoiled and crying for attention. Over the years she pretty much forgot about it and never cared or asked about my mental state ever. It's just because I prefer to not interact with her much now. My dad never cared in the first place and was absent most of my life anyway.

 

[AShipinthedark]

My mother regretted the physical distance between us, my father cracked jokes and laughed.

 

[DigitalHeart]

I'm sorry they reacted that way.
For me it was I think 2 years ago when I first opened up about those thoughts to my mom. She got mad and yelled at me saying I wouldn't do it and just told her to make her feel bad.
Then a year later (last year) my therapist send me to the psych ward as a crisis after I was honest with her.
That's how my father found out. He already knew about my depression but told me that it would only be a phase, that I want to be different and that I have nothing to be depressed about. So now that I was there he blamed it on my mom.
Overall it was messed up.
I think it's so sad when parents ignore it when their child tries to reach out for help…

 

[consider]

They scolded me then ignored me when I was Hyperventilating. I lied down the floor after that because of hypoxia. Alone.
Now I think they just didn't know how to deal with my suicidal. Still feel hurt though.