Discussion How did you find this forum and do you regret joining?

[sserafim]

I found it on Google last September (a few days before my birthday, actually) when I was researching methods. I didn't want to reach my birthday. I think I was searching either the ideal height or best bridge to jump from and a thread from this website showed up in the search results

 

[hopelessoceanic25]

After coming back from the psychward, I felt myself getting worse. I knew the second they plan to release me that I would just self-destruct and self-sabotage. I was faking "getting better" while I was inpatient. Found this browsing in private mode about methods and here I am.

I do not regret joining. There's a sense of community here, and it's comforting, kind of like a shelter from the never-ending storm we call life out there.

 

[derpyderpins]

Probably google'd "Sanctioned Suicide" to see whatever happened to the old reddit community after the ban.

I don't regret signing up. I feel connected with the community. It's obviously depressing sometimes to see such good people hurting but I'd rather be a part of it than turn away. It's nice being able to root for everyone to feel a bit better, even those who have maybe not been so nice to me: I'd be so happy to see that they've gotten even a bit better or that they got closer to the release they're seeking.

 

[Ligottian]

Googled "pro-choice suicide forums".

 

[vesisika]

Found it on Youtube bc I was watching some videos that discussed suicide. I was wondering wtf is this site. Half of me regrets joining this site, bc it's not really making my mental health better. But half of me finds comfort from here.

 

[illusive sweets]

I found it through a podcast talking about it and got interested cause they didn't wanna name it. So I did some research, found it, joined and here I am.

I don't regret joining it it's feels freeing being able to talk about anything and having people think the same as me. And it's fun to kill time here :)

 

[xulam]

I was hyper focused on suicide. letters, methods, people who did it and its repercussions, blue whale challenge and everything along these. I ended up here, but I only created an account when someone I slightly knew posted here and commited.
I tried it before and if I try it again I don't want to fail.

 

[danter0id]

a good long time ago, from the reddit community, and the other communities before that. I lurked a direct offshoot of alt.suicide.holiday when I was a preteen (been at this suicidality thing for a long time!).

more than anything, I regret that these sites have done more for me than suicide hotlines or most mental health professionals - which, given when I'm of sound mind I don't want to *have* to ctb, is a testament to how profoundly shitty the state of MH support is.

 

[wCvML2]

Found the site while searching for "how to hang" at a very low point. I don't regret it at all because reading through the forum somewhat distracted me throughout the crisis until it passed. In general I find it reassuring that the resources are always there, it makes me feel less trapped in my life.

 

[R_N]

Found it when i wanted to end it. Came back for a bit last year but I'm not really fond of the place anymore mostly because how society and even this place treats men. I visit ocasionally out of habit but I should stop eventually.

 

[Old Friend]

I was searching for methods.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I had an hunch that there were information about suicide methods out there that would be shared in a super niche place and, to find this site, I tried to think about how a normie would find a site like this as information about suicide methods is heavily censored by normies. Therefore I searched "suicide forum documentaries" and I found the wikipedia article referencing this site hence I joined this place.

I don't regret joining this site as this site is one of the best sites to share my views and some of the users here have consistently accurate and realistic takes on life which I really enjoy to see. However, I will admit that I'm annoyed at how I can't make use of the information about suicide methods on this site because I'm homebound. I'm also annoyed at the users here who oppose antinatalism, neets and work being wage slavery as they remind me of normies... who are the same people that I want to escape.

Truthfully, I can't relate to most people here who hate themselves, want to self harm and have low self esteem. It shows that there's a fundamental difference between me and most suicidal people. I'm not annoyed at that but it does make this site reduce its perfection for me as I can't relate to a variety of users. Despite all this, I still do like being here and I spend most of my time on this site. I don't regret being here

 

[sos]

i was looking around for methods and there were a couple of mentions on different websites regarding this forum.

let me rephrase the question to "do i regret finding it?" (bc yeah, i've only made an account here today)

eh, sometimes. there's so much information on here from different kind of sources that it gets frustrating at times.

sure, everyone is here to share their own experience to help others but when there's ten different point of views / experiences on a certain method it can be a bit of a mindfuck as to where to begin and it gets frustrating when none of the methods seem to be functional for yourself.

not that i'm to blame one of you, or the forums. more of a matter that i wish it was much easier. that's the frustrating part i guess, but hey, i'm here to gain knowledge and to succeed at some point.

but yeah, i've gotten to know a lot of things because of this forum / most of you. if it wasn't for this forum, i would've sticked to methods that have a huge chance of failure.

hopefully i'll be very thankful at some point in life. that kind of point where i wouldn't be able to express my gratefulness.

 

[sometimesoon]

read about it in the New York Times - and then began to lurk for a year or so

I don't regret - Learned alot and what method I intend to use

 

[PhilosopherInAV0id]

I remember so clearly. I was always so suicidal, and so frustrated that no matter what I did, there was nothing I could find to help. I even remember finding an assisted suicide program, but that was only for people who had terminal illness and only a short time left to live. That was a nice emotional explosion.

Then, out of desperation, I just went and googled suicide communities, just to see if I could find anything. Of course, the first result was the suicide hotline (immediately ignored, too far gone to care), and right after that was this site. Searched around a bit, and figured that this was the perfect place. Went to register, and I still remember writing out about a full length paragraph as explanation to why I should be able to join. Never regretted it since. A community where I can vent 100% worry free about anything I normally have to. This place is one of the only places I feel understands the feeling of not having to put up the act anymore, no matter how long. A gift from God (or the devil, doesn't matter which), that has helped me through so much, and I haven't even been here for that long. Incredible.

 

[Yaka]

Found this place through a YT vid one day - I am glad I found this place but do have a little bit of guilt ever looking it up cause I dont want to hurt the people around me

 

[SchizoGymnast]

I found SaSu through a pro suicide Google search and I don't regret joining at all. If a discussion happens that I don't agree with, or I get replies I don't like, I just ignore them. For the most part, this forum is a sane corner of the Internet that makes just about any shit show more bearable. I don't have to engage in toxic positivity here.

 

[MisterOGBongWater]

At the end of the day, this forum is the only thing left. I've been completely deserted. I deserve it

 

[Tempstring]

No simply yes or no answer.
Yes because it means I'm a step closer to exiting.
No because it means I'm a step closer to exiting

There has been some very useful information found. Consider that a positive tho.

Make of that what you will.

 

[penginwrist]

Friend was talking about it. Looked into it. Damn. That was pretty simple.

 

[passivethought121]

Googled something related to hanging a few years ago, found the night-night method thread. I don't regret it because I learned about SN here and had I not, I would just suffer from a shitty suspension attempt thinking there's nothing better and easier.

 

[leaftomb]

I saw someone talking about the night-night method (I don't remember where), and I got curious, so I looked it up and found the SS megathread. I had heard about the site before as I had seen a video talking about how bad it was but I never really checked it out myself. I used to visit as a guest and only made an account after months when I started actively looking for ways to CTB.

I wouldn't say I regret joining. It's nice having a place where I can talk about my feelings to people who actually understand and won't just tell me to wait until it gets better. Sometimes tho I do wonder if I'd be doing better now if I hadn't spent so much time reading method threads, or seeing how so many other people have felt the way I do and have never gotten better. Who knows, maybe I'd be in the same place.

This website still feels like a safeplace honestly. The most support I've got has been here.

 

[landmine]

i found this site from a specific youtube video!

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

I remember I was browsing Wikipedia, probably rabbit-holed myself from "Suicide methods" to something else. I do not regret it for one second. I feel safe and accepted here and I never feel safe and accepted anywhere. It's my go-to when I'm deep down in my own shit.

I think this may be the least cruel community I've ever been part of.

I don't know how I got here but I 100% definitely rabbit-holed myself here too. Am thrilled to hear other people use that expression. My psych hates it - uses air quotes around it. I guess it's not a medical term

 

[belomorski]

I don't regret at all. I had decided I need a way out and was going to do something stupid and unresearched. Now I have the information to go in a good reliable manner. I found the site in an article in Wikipedia actually

 

[ADBoy777]

Searched for methods in Google and the site popped up.
No I'm 100 precent not regretting entering this site. Members here helped me a lot and I find it nice the existence of a platform to share your deepest pains and thoughts

 

[Apathy79]

My best friend for almost 40 years told his mother he had frequented this site. Then he ctb. His mother told me about it at the funeral. Then I looked it up and joined to try to find his posts. Didn't find anything (I now think he just lurked), but stayed to discuss life with him vicariously through everyone else here and try to understand his perspective.

I don't regret joining. It's difficult sometimes when people you interact with regularly ctb. But most people are raw, unfiltered and very real here. That's refreshing. I find most forums people are trying to be who they think certain others want them to be, and it ends up just feeling fake and pointless.

 

[esistzeit]

Pure luck, by searching "suicide" on YouTube. I watched this interview with a guy who wrote about a ominous site that supported suicide. He mentioned the name of the site in an article he wrote on NYT. All I had to do was find that article.

I am grateful for having found it because it gave me a very good method that I wouldn't have thought of otherwise.

 

[ad astra]

Found it through Tantacrul's video last year, occasionally lurked, eventually just decided to bite the bullet and join since this actually seems like a nice community, and is, for lack of a better word, seemingly the opposite of what his video said about this place.
As much as I hate how the media has portrayed this site, I'm glad I found y'all <3
I have no regrets joining.

 

[dietcokecan]

My friend told me about a book where the main character is investigating her friend's suicide and discovers she had joined a suicide forum. This was in the psychward after my attempt so naturally I decided to look online for an actual suicide forum afterwards.