Discussion How confident are you that you will CTB when the time is right?

[Lost Magic]

I have been living with these suicidal thoughts for so long, I don't even know any other way of living. It is so pathetic and sad to have this as your default state.




All evidence points to life getting progressively worse every year. That has been my personal experience for over a decade like yourself. I feel like such a piece of shit for not having the courage to give myself peace. It is like I can't even protect myself and feel completely helpless. Sometimes I feel like the most pathetic person on the planet.

You are not the most pathetic anything. You may just have a strong built in survival mechanism like many of us do.

 

[Zzzzz]

I feel confident I can do it when the time is right, the problem is I don't know when that time will be. But I do know that I will never be able to overcome SI with will and determination alone. I must be in the right state of mind to ctb. I've felt maybe two instances in my life where SI was probably weak enough for a successful ctb, but for whatever reason I chose not to do it. I have some regret about that.

 

[deadverysoon]

100%

i will never recieve what i really need to get back on track.

there is no other way anymore.