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whiteclaudia

whiteclaudia

cute + well adjusted
Mar 23, 2024
41
the worst i've been, i think - or at least closest to ctb. i've done the most research into methods i've ever done and feel sort of numb. apathetic. i still want to get better. i want to try, anyway. i'm just exhausted.
 
sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that’s just me
Sep 13, 2023
9,017
I'm bored out of my mind
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Suicidebydeath
hot

hot

Mar 3, 2024
173
stressed, rly stressed. My cortisol levels are rly high.
 
JKFleck

JKFleck

Betrayed by my only friend, nothing left to lose
Oct 1, 2023
211
In infinite pain from getting abandoned by my friend
 
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Reactions: hot
trashprincess

trashprincess

She/Slur
Aug 8, 2023
186
It feels like God is telling me to kill myself. Like I have to, and nothing will ever change that. I don't think I'm going to make it...
 
NullSz00

NullSz00

Full-Swing Sayonara
Feb 22, 2024
217
I wanna say I'm stressed but that's not really the case... it's hard to explain, like I got a lot of things in my mind but at the same time they're not affecting me in a negative way.

I think I just got used to it...
 
bieatmania

bieatmania

早く殺してくれ。
Dec 22, 2023
84
I feel great right now due to having started taking wellbutrin and pregabalin but I'm pretty sure it's temporary hypomania episode.
very anxious about when it goes away at same time.
 
landmine

landmine

Member
Mar 12, 2023
93
i dont feel great at all! bpd is so fcking hard to deal with especially when you bottle it up because thats what i'm used to !!! i feel like my heads gonna explode, i genuinely can't do this anymore, i want to end it all but i can't
 
R

RW__Asher23

Global Mod
Dec 11, 2022
204
Ironically, I am doing great now. But that is mostly because I got my Nembutal and can take it anytime I want right now. Legally got it. Yeah I have a fatal disease. Funny really, I mean I attempted ctb 4 times one successfully but brought back via shocks to chest restart heart. But the last time was few years ago. Because I got sick. Rest is history. No cure and I am going to die anyway. So jokes on me huh? But I am ready and will go when I want. Wish you all the Peace you deserve either in this world or the next. Peace.
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: rotciv
penguinl0v3s

penguinl0v3s

Wait for Me 💙
Nov 1, 2023
817
I don't think I can feel bear to feel sad again. If I were to live it has to be easy from here on out. I've been challenged one too many times.
 
E

Endofit

Get me out of here
Jan 19, 2024
69
I'm feeling a bit better due to slights changes in my situation. But not entirely, far from it. I still keep my method materials close by because I can't trust future anymore and my mental illnesses are still around.
 
Malaria

Malaria

If I can't be my own, I'd feel better dead
Feb 24, 2024
1,084
I feel isolated and alien from everyone else
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Suicidebydeath and Mirrory Me
Promised Heaven

Promised Heaven

Eternally atoning
Feb 1, 2024
694
I guess I'm alright. A lot better then a few years ago. Back then I was pretty much a NEET, in between passively and actively suicidial, and addicted to social media and binge eating.

A lot of it has gone away now that I'm working, but nowadays I feel numb. Not depressed but not happy. The only actual emotions I feel is the dopamine rush from a videogame score or emotional overwhelm. Basically in a mental stasis living a daily life like a robot. But I'm alive I guess?
 
Last edited:
W

whywere

Illuminated
Jun 26, 2020
3,268
Went and got my monthly bottles of opioids, so the darn pain is down. Just started using Lyrica with the opioids and everything is working according to plan and driving the chronic pain way down.

I just wish I could get away from the 5needles in my spine every 3 moths with no anesthesia, as the pain of the procedure is usually really bad.

Walter
 
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: LoiteringClouds and Pallf
P

Pallf

I'm tired
May 27, 2018
363
I'm annoyed with myself. My ADHD isn't helping. I want to pass this semester but one of my classes needs me to login to a third party service and I can't login. I can't do homework, I can't do assignments. It's pissing me off greatly because this should be piss easy.
Went and got my monthly bottles of opioids, so the darn pain is down. Just started using Lyrica with the opioids and everything is working according to plan and driving the chronic pain way down.

I just wish I could get away from the 5needles in my spine every 3 moths with no anesthesia, as the pain of the procedure is usually really bad.

Walter
I'm glad the pain meds and Lyrica are helping out Walter. I'm glad to see ya.

Pallf
 
  • Love
Reactions: whywere
W

whywere

Illuminated
Jun 26, 2020
3,268
I'm annoyed with myself. My ADHD isn't helping. I want to pass this semester but one of my classes needs me to login to a third party service and I can't login. I can't do homework, I can't do assignments. It's pissing me off greatly because this should be piss easy.

I'm glad the pain meds and Lyrica are helping out Walter. I'm glad to see ya.

Pallf
Thank you so much!

I also am glad to see you here.

You are a smart soul, and you will do great. You are a lot smarter than me.

Walter
 
  • Like
Reactions: LoiteringClouds
errorsinmypast

errorsinmypast

I see only one escape
Apr 3, 2024
73
I'm not doing too well. I distract myself where I can, via any means possible. Every few hours a sense of realisation, dread and hatred of myself kicks in. It has been like this for a few years now and I'm tired.i

I'm not doing too well. I distract myself where I can, via any means possible. Every few hours a sense of realisation, dread and hatred of myself kicks in. It has been like this for a few years now and I'm tired.
I feel like this too, it's bloody awful. Those distracted moments are amazing but the crash is horrific
 
Myforevercharlie

Myforevercharlie

Illuminated
Feb 13, 2020
3,234
Not too bad
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: whywere
N33dT0D13

N33dT0D13

Xe/It
Apr 2, 2023
365
If it weren't for my dogs, my Internet friends and the notion of what gossip my bitch ass neighbors would spread about me, I would've killed myself by now. Hooray for being stuck on this bitch of an earth with my own fucked up thoughts to keep me miserable 🥳
 

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