I feel like shit and I'm stuck with my parents. Nobody will help me. The only reason I've been staying around is for my ketamine treatments. They make me feel high and I love it. I wish I could use ketamine whenever I wanted. I'm getting to the point that all I ever think about is how everything would be better if I could stay high and never come down from it. I think after my last ketamine appointment I will end my life. I'm tired, I hate my life, I don't want to be transgender or disabled, and everyone makes it worse. Fuck this place.
-
Hey Guest,
If you would still like to donate, you still can. We have more than enough funds to cover operating expenses for quite a while, so don't worry about donating if you aren't able. If you want to donate something other than what is listed, you can contact RainAndSadness.
Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt
Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9
Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVS
DD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8
BlockHammer
Confused loser
- Oct 25, 2023
- 217
Feel like a looser, still financially dependent on my parents. Trying to apply for a job but most of them just blatantly ignored me
Try to study something that might be useful for the job i applied to but it would be pointless if there's nobody hired me/gave ma a change
Try to study something that might be useful for the job i applied to but it would be pointless if there's nobody hired me/gave ma a change
Today I am on my way to get better. I hope I can hold on my hope. But inside me there is a very lonely and sad child. That hurts very much. So I am here, because I know there are people in pain too. There are people who understand. If you read this I send you the feeling of being loved as the person you are.
BrokenBones
Member
- Jun 29, 2023
- 6
Feeling like a burden, what with all of my health problems, my increasing mental instability and irrational anger. Ready to just ctb. Tried to find a buddy in the buddy threads but apparently I don't comment enough so I can't message anyone… can someone just tell me how much sodium nitrite to take. This forum was not nearly this hard to navigate when I joined in June…
Darkover
Angelic
- Jul 29, 2021
- 4,132
wish i was well again but that will never be the case i'm not doing to badly could be a lot worse
I am so done with this life, just want to go to sleep and never wake up. Can't afford to get my meds and have been off them two days. Been unemployed for 6 months and just don't want to go through the motions anymore.
underscore_nine
the sweet release
- Feb 17, 2023
- 145
im scared im going to get better and lose motivation to CTB, im trying to make sure im in pain so i go through with it. i miss my friends but they're bad for me because they make me happy
Aim
🤍
- Sep 12, 2023
- 945
Excuse this, but I don't think i 100% understand right now
Do you mean sn with benzoes. Or you mean trying to ctb with benzoes?I would never try to ctb with only benzoes, does that even work?
Last edited:
Somehow managed to gain five pounds this week. Bank account almost drained, not even counting the 10,000 dollar debt. My shoulder and neck hurt so fucking badly.
I feel rotten. Having a fuck off massive existential crisis. I'm suffering greatly. Also I barely sleep at night even though on meds. And that's fucking hard . Sorry for language
zwillz
Member
- Oct 2, 2023
- 7
Sometimes I just stand on top of this bridge on my way back from work over a freeway just to feel like I'm in control of something, like I know I can jump and just end it and that's what keeps me going, knowing at anytime there is a escape
danishstarlight
may the stars guide you.
- May 29, 2023
- 183
hopeless, all thorughout life. methophorically speaking got beaten up to a pulp and I with no support go on my feet via sheer strength to keep going. To think positive. To keep fighting. To keep living. Hasn't gotten any easier, its never been. Recently my life's taken drastic turn for the worse. At my wit's end. Now Im a walking zombie, with no purpose, no life. I just want to CTB. Preferably find others to do together IRL, go around in a circle and speak your last words, hold hands and face the unknown together.
wiinterfrost
it only gets worse..
- Oct 8, 2023
- 116
i am... at peace somehow. yet so angry with fire. i used to be and now not here. wanting to kill myself so badly and loving life so intensely. it's all there yet no access. where does any of this go who decides and why is this the era
(no im not high i just cant talk right sometimes when it comes to certain thoughts)
(no im not high i just cant talk right sometimes when it comes to certain thoughts)
tronix
Member
- Mar 23, 2024
- 79
Exactly three years ago I met someone who left me recently. But I feel... I don't know, better? Maybe just today. Maybe because my SN is already here and it gives me a sense of safety?
Still, I'm scared of the upcoming weekend. Weekends are the worse for me.
Still, I'm scared of the upcoming weekend. Weekends are the worse for me.
Being constantly pulled in completely opposite directions of being ok and hopeful/optimistic and down/suicidal. Could be absolutely fine one minute and down in the dumps the next. That alone is exhausting as hell and I just want it to end.
