Jule_from_Germany

Jule_from_Germany

Soon, my soul will fly away. I love you all
Jun 8, 2023
224
I just wanted to ask. Is it as hot as here, where you are? Here it's so hot, I feel dizzy all day. Had a check up this morning, without any new results. Sometimes I'm so sick and tired of that stuff. Last year this time I spent my free time outside, swimming, climbing in the alps, cycling, simply enjoying life. Why can't it be like that again?

Sorry for sounding depressed😔
 
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winamp

Enlightened
May 20, 2023
1,357
I feel kind of silly today although my day started out rough
mostly just spending my time reading, studying, and listening to music today
it's kind of hot here but it's been cloudy a lot and it's rained a few times
what's climbing like ? I am afraid of heights so I am curious
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,900
Oh bless- you're in good company. I'd say most of us are depressed here!

Yeah- it's hot in the UK. Spent a very small part of the day tidying and sweating and the rest procrastinating.

Wow. I've always wanted to swim in a lake or river or something. I doubt I would actually enjoy it. It's more the thought of it and that my Nana used to do it in her youth. Sounds beautiful though.
 
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willitpass

willitpass

Don’t try to offer me help, I’ve tried everything
Mar 10, 2020
2,941
I feel horrible today. I feel extremely ungrateful, everything in my life is going well I should just be fucking happy and yet I'm not. I feel horribly lonely, yet I have plans with a friend that I just want to flake on because I'm too exhausted. I feel angry and want to punch something, yet too tired to move. Hungry but I don't want to eat. Just horrible.
 
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Fktw0rld

Fktw0rld

An end with suffering > Suffering without an end
Aug 29, 2022
404
Just another day looking for distractions to get me through. Counting the days till the bus arrives.

Yeah I miss those days as well. Looking back, I'm not quite sure how I did it. I don't even recognize the person I once was. Going from making back to back plans, enjoying life, always surrounded with friends and family to avoiding everyone and barely even being able to endure a 30 second convo with someone.

Crazy how shit changes.
 
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Jule_from_Germany

Jule_from_Germany

Soon, my soul will fly away. I love you all
Jun 8, 2023
224
I feel kind of silly today although my day started out rough
mostly just spending my time reading, studying, and listening to music today
it's kind of hot here but it's been cloudy a lot and it's rained a few times
what's climbing like ? I am afraid of heights so I am curious
It's huge fun. My dad took me indoor climbing when I was about ten. Since then we took tours in the alps at least twice a year. Our dream was to climb in the Rocky Mountains or the Himalaya one day. You can feel so free with nothing under your feet but air (ok, I don't know if that helps if you're afraid of heights😊)
Oh bless- you're in good company. I'd say most of us are depressed here!

Yeah- it's hot in the UK. Spent a very small part of the day tidying and sweating and the rest procrastinating.

Wow. I've always wanted to swim in a lake or river or something. I doubt I would actually enjoy it. It's more the thought of it and that my Nana used to do it in her youth. Sounds beautiful though.
I thought there are a lot of lakes in the UK😂. I did a lot of sports in general, but now I get exhausted after barely ten minutes of workout
 
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Livingvsdying25

Livingvsdying25

Enlightened
Dec 8, 2019
1,188
It's probs hot outside but im lucky to have A/C or else I'd literally not be able to breathe.

I feel bored. The usual distractions are boring and I don't feel like doing anything new. Waiting till I can CTB.
Feeling angry reflecting on my life tbh.
Feeling annoyed that money is such an issue ughhhh. 😒
Feeling guilty for sharing im suicidal.
Feeling uncomfortable bc nothing is engaging enough and my mind goes to anxiety when bored. I hate my brain...
Hungry but I don't feel like moving or eating.

I miss the days when I was a little more physically able & adventurous but... yee that's done now. I don't feel safe even going down the street in this heat. I am waiting on funding for a wheelchair & walker but it's a long process. So I feel sad about my physical health but I try not to think about it too much bc it just leads to feelings of jealously that I'd rather live without.

Hope ur able to find something within today that is a lil better than the bad. 💞
 
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winamp

Enlightened
May 20, 2023
1,357
It's huge fun. My dad took me indoor climbing when I was about ten. Since then we took tours in the alps at least twice a year. Our dream was to climb in the Rocky Mountains or the Himalaya one day. You can feel so free with nothing under your feet but air (ok, I don't know if that helps if you're afraid of heights😊)
I actually enjoy indoor climbing which is weird considering my fear
the Himalayas looks beautiful so I can see why that would be someones dream destination to climb
this is 50% unrelated and 50% related but out of curiosity how do you feel abut this since you enjoy climbing ? it looks kind of fun (sorry that the image is huge)
104793511-makeit_10242017_Skylodge_Firstclass_mezz.jpg
 
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MrDarkness

MrDarkness

Left sasu, to improve my life
Jun 18, 2023
1,066
Just another day looking for distractions to get me through. Counting the days till the bus arrives.

Yeah I miss those days as well. Looking back, I'm not quite sure how I did it. I don't even recognize the person I once was. Going from making back to back plans, enjoying life, always surrounded with friends and family to avoiding everyone and barely even being able to endure a 30 second convo with someone.

Crazy how shit changes.
Indeed life is like that, I hope life becomes, happy for you again, I've seen your post about your life or plans something like that. Best of luck bro, fuck the world but I'm going to keep fighting to show who the real bitch is, the world
I just wanted to ask. Is it as hot as here, where you are? Here it's so hot, I feel dizzy all day. Had a check up this morning, without any new results. Sometimes I'm so sick and tired of that stuff. Last year this time I spent my free time outside, swimming, climbing in the alps, cycling, simply enjoying life. Why can't it be like that again?

Sorry for sounding depressed😔
My life has been fairly nice, being on ss made me cry yesterday, today is just another day, listening to music and playing games, plus I'm still waiting to get my high school diploma, so I still have that going
 
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Jule_from_Germany

Jule_from_Germany

Soon, my soul will fly away. I love you all
Jun 8, 2023
224
I actually enjoy indoor climbing which is weird considering my fear
the Himalayas looks beautiful so I can see why that would be someones dream destination to climb
this is 50% unrelated and 50% related but out of curiosity how do you feel abut this since you enjoy climbing ? it looks kind of fun (sorry that the image is huge)
104793511-makeit_10242017_Skylodge_Firstclass_mezz.jpg
It's surreal. I've read an old book on the early missions to the Everest, when that was still a real adventure. Nowadays, it's only a matter of money, so almost everybody can make it up there easily. That's why I struggled with that dream in recent years. But I know, that if I win this fight, I will get up there some day.

It's become similar in the alps. And it's not doing the nature any good
 
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jonward55

£ Made Me Be Here.
Apr 12, 2023
384
Can this go into the "off topic" forum ?
 
Fktw0rld

Fktw0rld

An end with suffering > Suffering without an end
Aug 29, 2022
404
Indeed life is like that, I hope life becomes, happy for you again, I've seen your post about your life or plans something like that. Best of luck bro, fuck the world but I'm going to keep fighting to show who the real bitch is, the world
Thank you for the motivating words. I agree wholeheartedly. The world truly is an absolute bitch. I once had the exact mindset. I fought hard for over 48 years. I'm just tired now and my life is in checkmate. I'd rather flip the boards and end the game all together then let them have my king and declare victory.

Love and respect @MrDarkness 🙏
 
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Jule_from_Germany

Jule_from_Germany

Soon, my soul will fly away. I love you all
Jun 8, 2023
224
Because it is NOT suicide discussion, makes sense instead of clogging this forum up with sh*t posts ?
Sorry for not writing "Hey guys, who is ctb right now" 🙄
 
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MrDarkness

MrDarkness

Left sasu, to improve my life
Jun 18, 2023
1,066
Thank you for the motivating words. I agree wholeheartedly. The world truly is an absolute bitch. I once had the exact mindset. I fought hard for over 48 years. I'm just tired now and my life is in checkmate. I'd rather flip the boards and end the game all together then let them have my king and declare victory.

Love and respect @MrDarkness 🙏
Every time my game/life is in a checkmate I stalemate. Just to give a finger to the opponent. Best of luck I'll remember this conversation for as long as I live
 
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Jule_from_Germany

Jule_from_Germany

Soon, my soul will fly away. I love you all
Jun 8, 2023
224
Also you started two identical posts both in the wrong section.
It was by mistake and I deleted the other one, fine? No one forces you to read this
 
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jonward55

£ Made Me Be Here.
Apr 12, 2023
384
It was by mistake and I deleted the other one, fine? No one forces you to read this
No one is forcing me no, but it would be better if posts were in the correct forum, that's why the other forums exist instead of clogging this one up with random, irrelevant chit chat.
 
Jule_from_Germany

Jule_from_Germany

Soon, my soul will fly away. I love you all
Jun 8, 2023
224
No one is forcing me no, but it would be better if posts were in the correct forum, that's why the other forums exist instead of clogging this one up with random, irrelevant chit chat.
For some people it may not be irrelevant, so no, I'm not going to change the forum
 
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Kerrtu

Kerrtu

Komeetta ♊︎
May 8, 2023
474
I just wanted to ask. Is it as hot as here, where you are? Here it's so hot, I feel dizzy all day. Had a check up this morning, without any new results. Sometimes I'm so sick and tired of that stuff. Last year this time I spent my free time outside, swimming, climbing in the alps, cycling, simply enjoying life. Why can't it be like that again?

Sorry for sounding depressed😔

No need to apologize at all for sounding depressed - your post actually made me smile. It's very kind of you to ask how we're all doing. I miss cycling very much as well.

It's chilly and humid where I am - balmy. I pulled yet another "all nighter" last night, was up until the sun came up. I'm pretty sick physically and I've developed a chest cold. I'm supposed to have a colonoscopy next week, I've been waiting for the appointment since December. I've never lost weight like this. 50lbs +/-

If/when I catch myself in a mirror, I don't recognize myself anymore.

The place where I'm supposed to go for the colonoscopy has ridiculous rules. They want my primary to re-send the referral 2 days before the procedure and will charge $100 if an appointment is missed.

If I'm unable to gather all that's required, I'm going to CTB on the 26th. Can't do this anymore - exhausted.

I hope you feel less dizzy - take it as easy as you can, Jule ✿
 
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Jule_from_Germany

Jule_from_Germany

Soon, my soul will fly away. I love you all
Jun 8, 2023
224
That sounds bad. Best wishes for you
 
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LittleJem

Visionary
Jul 3, 2019
2,622
got wasted (a little) to try and feel something. Then fell asleep in a park. Classy.
 
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woh6

woh6

Student
May 13, 2023
188
Things are alright. It's also very warm where I live- although it's been cooling down a bit in the last week. My head hurts and I'm a bit stressed as it's finals week and I have about 10 more tests (2 a day) to study for. I'm taking it one day at a time & I'm nearly done for tomorrow but I still have to memorize about 1310 words from a different language... and a bunch of grammar. Don't know how I'm gonna manage that.
 
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Jule_from_Germany

Jule_from_Germany

Soon, my soul will fly away. I love you all
Jun 8, 2023
224
OThings are alright. It's also very warm where I live- although it's been cooling down a bit in the last week. My head hurts and I'm a bit stressed as it's finals week and I have about 10 more tests (2 a day) to study for. I'm taking it one day at a time & I'm nearly done for tomorrow but I still have to memorize about 1310 words from a different language... and a bunch of grammar. Don't know how I'm gonna manage that.
Oh what language?
 
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