Hour by hour

[Taki]

I feel as though I'm connected to a suicide machine that will turn on if I stop feeding it coins, like an old-fashioned public phone. I'm constantly scrambling for coins and can't think about anything else.

 

[one4all]

I feel as though I'm connected to a suicide machine that will turn on if I stop feeding it coins, like an old-fashioned public phone. I'm constantly scrambling for coins and can't think about anything else.

Sounds to me like you just aren't ready to CTB. Something must be there in your life to keep you around. It's not easy to make that final choice a lot of times.

 

[oopswronglife]

That's a good and relatable analogy. I don't want to ctb...never have. I have always felt forced over the cliff by people and circumstances pushing me. I will be metaphorically or maybe literally screaming with despair and anger until the lights go out...and they are flickering and buzzing more and more now.