Help Help me get rid of these irrational thoughts of living

[skybluesuicide]

I've recently started to take action on my suicide plans and it's all slowly falling into place. However, as the prospect of death becomes more real, anti-suicide thoughts have popped up in my mind. Thoughts like
- 'I'll miss so many things'
- 'there's so much I haven't done yet'
- 'What if I'll go to hell?'
I haven't had these thoughts in a while, and they're interfering with my plans to end it all. I don't want these thoughts to be in my mind, I want them to go away. They would've been greatly appreciated many years ago, but not now. I'm simply in too much pain for these thoughts to be useful and pull me out of this ditch, and now they are putting me in even more pain by causing an inner-conflict in my head. Please help me get rid of them, no amount of these thoughts will be enough to change my mind so they're just detrimental to me.

 

[Rorochan_200★]

personally i throw on noise cancelling headphones at full volume to drown out the thoughts.
Pieces by AZALI usually work best for me

if you want a way to get rid of just those thoughts specifically, maybe try to convince yourself you think otherwise?

 

[piddincir]

Look I don't think it's anything anyone can help with and im not going to tell you to live either.

my wife took her own life 4 weeks ago almost to the moment, she had been struggling but she really did fucking love me but in that moment it all got too much, no doubt she was in a mental health crisis at the time and she would probably regret it now, if for nothing else to what it's done to me - she could never hurt me.

The point I am making is if you're serious about going, you'll be ready to do it in the moment and you just need to wait for that moment to come and the courage to follow through

I am in the same boat, I've lost all hope and I know my future is completely fucked, I have those thoughts but I know the pain I am in will soon overbear me to action

 

[aeri]

personally i throw on noise cancelling headphones at full volume to drown out the thoughts.
Pieces by AZALI usually work best for me

if you want a way to get rid of just those thoughts specifically, maybe try to convince yourself you think otherwise?

omg banger i love the pieces. makes me think of Cytus

 

[SVEN]

I'd feel that when your need for peace exceeds these thoughts, you'll know it's your time, Sky. To be honest, I doubt that there is any technique or practise that will entirely stop them.

 

[LonelyKitten]

I've experienced a similar issue recently.
What has helped me, at least in terms of moving forward on ctb plans, is to, instead of only pushing those anti-suicide/survival instinct thoughts away - engaging with them a little.

"you'll miss so much you could do so much etc."
Why not do some stuff?
Once you're suicidal, it can be hard to work on ctb plans, because it's scary, it requires a lot of energy and thought, and most likely, you're somewhat depressed/stressed out already if you're, well, suicidal.
Enjoy yourself, reward yourself, attempt stuff you were always afraid to do, *while* setting up ctb plans in the meantime by using the positive energy from treating yourself to what life does have to offer.
Sure, for some people this might push them away from suicide because suddenly life is a bit rosy, but if you're at the end point anyway you'll drop to a point of wanting to ctb again - only difference is, now you're prepared and can just do it.
At least to me, the ctb plans help in doing the joyful or productive stuff, because it's like you have this secret, infallible ace up your sleeve - no matter how bad things go, you can always die and find peace/relief.
Like a cushion, a safety net.

Might not work for everyone but with this I went from having ZERO ability to engage ctb planning (panic, survival instinct) in like, September, to having one surefire fully complete method set up (it doesn't invoke survival instinct in me), as well as 5-6 backup methods, most of which have all the bare minimum materials and knowledge required assembled.
Bear in mind I'm a massive coward and my survival instinct is very strong, so that's quite a feat, in a way.

 

[venin.n]

I've recently started to take action on my suicide plans and it's all slowly falling into place. However, as the prospect of death becomes more real, anti-suicide thoughts have popped up in my mind. Thoughts like
- 'I'll miss so many things'
- 'there's so much I haven't done yet'
- 'What if I'll go to hell?'
I haven't had these thoughts in a while, and they're interfering with my plans to end it all. I don't want these thoughts to be in my mind, I want them to go away. They would've been greatly appreciated many years ago, but not now. I'm simply in too much pain for these thoughts to be useful and pull me out of this ditch, and now they are putting me in even more pain by causing an inner-conflict in my head. Please help me get rid of them, no amount of these thoughts will be enough to change my mind so they're just detrimental to me.

I know what you mean. Cockblockers

I observed that cbd oil helps a lot

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be dreadful what you are going through and sadly I don't believe there is an easy answer but anyway consciousness really is so torturous, I find it horrible how we cannot just easily die in peace.

I imagine that many let go of the irrational thoughts when they get so determined to be gone but I see the only hell as being this existence. For me death means peace and freedom from all suffering, one cannot suffer from the absence of everything, anyway I wish you the best, I hope that you eventually find what you search for.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

When you have finally reached the point where the fear of living is stronger than your fear of dying, then these thoughts will no longer have any power over you. When this happens you will know for sure that you have reached that point of sweet acceptance.

 

[Turkish_Rose]

I've experienced a similar issue recently.
What has helped me, at least in terms of moving forward on ctb plans, is to, instead of only pushing those anti-suicide/survival instinct thoughts away - engaging with them a little.

"you'll miss so much you could do so much etc."
Why not do some stuff?
Once you're suicidal, it can be hard to work on ctb plans, because it's scary, it requires a lot of energy and thought, and most likely, you're somewhat depressed/stressed out already if you're, well, suicidal.
Enjoy yourself, reward yourself, attempt stuff you were always afraid to do, *while* setting up ctb plans in the meantime by using the positive energy from treating yourself to what life does have to offer.
Sure, for some people this might push them away from suicide because suddenly life is a bit rosy, but if you're at the end point anyway you'll drop to a point of wanting to ctb again - only difference is, now you're prepared and can just do it.
At least to me, the ctb plans help in doing the joyful or productive stuff, because it's like you have this secret, infallible ace up your sleeve - no matter how bad things go, you can always die and find peace/relief.
Like a cushion, a safety net.

Might not work for everyone but with this I went from having ZERO ability to engage ctb planning (panic, survival instinct) in like, September, to having one surefire fully complete method set up (it doesn't invoke survival instinct in me), as well as 5-6 backup methods, most of which have all the bare minimum materials and knowledge required.
Bear in mind I'm a massive coward and my survival instinct is very strong, so that's quite a feat, in a way.

Smart af

 

[アホペンギン]

I understand these thoughts.. It is very bothersome having such thoughts when you know for sure that living isn't a realistic option, now that you've come this far. Your choice to ctb has been solidified and circumstances caused this.

Try to use the nihilism mindset or escapism. It helps.

 

[tiger b]

Opposing thoughts could give them more energy. I think the kitten one has eluded to that brilliantly.

Another idea:

Thoughts often come in a certain tone of voice. It's possible to change the tone to a silly one by repeating it in your head in a silly one - like Goofy, for instance. While you read this, feel free to try it gawwwwwshhh.

Thus the thoughts are heard, so they won't nag so much, their energy isn't multiplied. You are giving them the level of importance relevant to your situation.

 

[skybluesuicide]

Opposing thoughts could give them more energy. I think the kitten one has eluded to that brilliantly.

Another idea:

Thoughts often come in a certain tone of voice. It's possible to change the tone to a silly one by repeating it in your head in a silly one - like Goofy, for instance. While you read this, feel free to try it gawwwwwshhh.

Thus the thoughts are heard, so they won't nag so much, their energy isn't multiplied. You are giving them the level of importance relevant to your situation.

Now Mickey Mouse is in my head saying "Oh golly, but what if, oh what if you find yourself going down to hell? Eek! Ha-ha!" and surprisingly, it calms me down haha

 

[tiger b]

Well that's great, even if only some respite.

It's only the start, it is possible to control the volume, pitch, speed - even the distance to the sound. You can mix it with rabid chickens barking if you so wish.

Whatever works, I say. I used it to help switch off those overcritical parental voices I was bombarded with in childhood. It's amazing what we carry along with us sometimes that we don't actually have to.