Venting Have you ever felt this way?

[NotUrDream]

Today, July 18th, is my birthday. I had everything planned to be dead by midnight, but even though I have nothing to lose, there's still something making me "afraid" to die, even though there's no one who would miss me. I can't really explain the feeling, it's like I forgot to finish doing something, i dont really know if im just scared, maybe im just waiting things to get worse, its like im just enjoying a few final moments before everything truly gets worse to a painful, unbearable level, not that it isn't already terrible and painful.
Have you ever felt this way?

 

[punyama]

yes i do
i don't have a reason to still be alive right now but i still am, i don't know what i'm waiting for.

 

[NotUrDream]

yes i do
i don't have a reason to still be alive right now but i still am, i don't know what i'm waiting for.

it looks like such a waste of time somehow

 

[tooafraidtodiez]

If only i have that condition where i can't feel much pain. I'd CTB in the next couple days

 

[hdead]

If only i have that condition where i can't feel much pain. I'd CTB in the next couple days

Just get some opioids.. nah?

 

[itsgone2]

Yes. Most days now. I wish I had done it already. Part of it is certainly fear. No one wants a painful death.