No, this really happened. He said those things to me in 2 posts. I'm not offended that an uncivilized, inarticulate guy called me names, but I'm kind of disgusted that he said I was a retard & a dumb fuck who has autism, barely any friends & social & learning disabilities. That's really insulting to all the people on here who want to die because they actually suffer from those things
Oh wow....
O.O
-.-
I am sorry
@hotelbeneathground, I thought you might be joking. Actually, I hoped you were because it is hard to accept that someone said that and here of all places.
I know you said you were not offended. But, gotta say, I am offended on your behalf as well as on behalf of all people who have autism, barely any friends (that would include me), and those with learning disabilities.
I get that people come here from all walks of life - and some spout nonsense or cruelty out of their own pain. But this, this is way too far IMO.
Bullying, and that is what it was (to put it kindly) does not belong anywhere, especially here. Like you said (and I totally agree), this kind of behavior is what drives some people here in the first place.
I totally agree with
@Pookie. I hope that person was banned. If they are still here, please report them. Because if they did it to you, it is likely they will do it to someone else and it might just end up being the final straw for that person who is attacked in this way.
I realize it was not something I did, nonetheless, I am sorry that was said to you, and to everyone else here by default.
<3
Yeah, lots of people hate me because I speak my mind. I don't sugarcoat things and tell people what they want to hear all the time. I used to mentor ex-offenders and had to call them out on their bullshit because tiptoeing around their issues wasn't going to solve anything.
Also my mother is a recovering drug addict and I had to use "tough love" to deal with her. I don't enable people because enabling doesn't do anyone any favours, it only makes matters worse. So that's how I became the opposite of a "people pleaser". Also, I have zero tolerance for bullies. I'm their enemy and they are mine - let the wars begin, yeehaw!
But I don't care about having enemies because they mean nothing to me. The only people who matter to me are my loved ones, people that I get on with/online/offline friends.
I completely agree with your stance on tough love. "People pleasers" (IMO) can do so much more harm than good. And it is sad. I do try to consider where the person is coming from, and what may cause the behavior - however, that being said, sometimes enough is enough.
For example, my ex is a severe alcoholic (he is the one who broke my ribs and gave me the brain bleed), not only did he physically abuse me - he verbally assaulted me (severe verbal abuse, gaslighting, etc.), not to mention stealing everything we had as a family (why I have nothing left after working so hard for so many years despite my anxiety, cPTSD, etc. that had not been treated at the time).
At one point, before the ribs and brain bleed, my ex was dying and would have had I not gotten him to the hospital (and this happened at least 3 times not including 2 rehabs - one of which he broke out of and then trashed someone's business). At the time, I told my father-in-law (FIL) to stop catering to him, and that he needed tough love to recover - he needed to be held accountable and to realize what he had done and how much he had hurt everyone. He has no sense of accountability or empathy coupled with an incredibly violent temper. Needless to say, he made my life sheer hell.
I digress (sorry - he really ruined my life - he is the other reason I am here). In any case, my FIL could not do it. He not only continued to cater to him after I warned him (btw - the nurses warned him too), but actually went out and bought him more alcohol O.O. In essence, because of his need to be a "people-pleaser" he almost killed his own son.
My ex, who I now have nothing to do with, has a rap sheet longer than my arm, and is facing DUI charges for the second time - jail is more than likely among a host of other punitive measures. The sad thing is that he will still not learn. He feels he can do anything he wants at any time and to anyone - his temper is off the charts (never saw anything like it).
I feel for you that you know this kind of behavior, especially since it is your mother. I am glad she is in recovery.
Take care Pookie :)