Discussion Has anyone here been raped?

[Ghastly]

I ask because I was raped in October My case is going to court and I have wanted to see if anyone else's suicidal thoughts solidified after the rape or sexual assault?

 

[Puddings]

I ask because I was raped in October My case is going to court and I have wanted to see if anyone else's suicidal thoughts solidified after the rape or sexual assault?

Yes definitely, as you are in a stressed, adrenaline loaded and life altering time of your life it definitely increases the internal diagloge and pressure to ctb. That, paired with feelings af guilt and shame, isolation and self doubt. To name but a few. You are not alone. You are strong. You have people across the world rooting for. And what ever you decide, may you find your peace. It's not your fault.

 

[Ghastly]

Yes definitely, as you are in a stressed, adrenaline loaded and life altering time of your life it definitely increases the internal diagloge and pressure to ctb. That, paired with feelings af guilt and shame, isolation and self doubt. To name but a few. You are not alone. You are strong. You have people across the world rooting for. And what ever you decide, may you find your peace. It's not your fault.

Thanks. Yeah I think I just want to die. It's really too much for my heart to keep doing the dumb life stuff afterwards

 

[felix]

I ask because I was raped in October My case is going to court and I have wanted to see if anyone else's suicidal thoughts solidified after the rape or sexual assault?

Yes

 

[Puddings]

Thanks. Yeah I think I just want to die. It's really too much for my heart to keep doing the dumb life stuff afterwards

It's hard. Facing him/them, the whole justice symstem and just everything that goes with a court case as such. You are brave. It won't be the same for all but this could possibly be a healing process admitted very hard.

 

[stellabelle]

I ask because I was raped in October My case is going to court and I have wanted to see if anyone else's suicidal thoughts solidified after the rape or sexual assault?

Yes and yes.

I'm really sorry that this happened to you.

 

[JustAboutDone]

@Ghastly i know it's not anything but I couldn't read it and not say that I wish I could just squeeze your hand gently and be next to you xx

 

[JJ-NOHOPE]

I am so sorry you had to go through that, and are continuing to have to deal with this.

I was raped when I was 12 which is now 42 years ago. I never told anyone about it until a couple of months ago. It had/has a huge negative impact on my life.

I still blame myself which is not logical or correct.

Please try not to blame yourself. I admire your strength for going through the court process.

 

[Suicide47]

Yes when I was 17. Attempted suicide because of it. I was sexually assaulted this year from a lawyer. If all goes planned to my advantage and I'm still on earth I'm sure you'll hear all about it. But for now I'm trying to make it day by day

 

[LastDay]

Sounds like PTSD. My therapist who is experienced in trauma says that Prolonged Exposure therapy is a very effective treatment. I wanted to do it but decided I'm determined to CTB instead.

 

[Final Escape]

Getting sexually abused is rape so yea I've been raped. Otherwise I've had encounters where I felt pressured or didn't exactly consent but didn't fight the situation. This is more like I was taken advantage of because I struggled to assert my boundaries as a result of the sexual abuse in childhood. But in my mind rape is when the woman is saying no, stop, fighting off the advances and the guy ignores u but continues to try to force sex on u.

 

[GeorgeEastman]

No, but a lot of people act like they wish they could.

As a frail man getting old, this is quite unsettling.

 

[DownInaHole]

Just my soul, not my flesh.

 

[hunter_lewis]

that sounds absolutely awful-I hope all goes well for you, and you find some kind of closure in this situation-be it death, life, seeing your abuser jailed or whatever it may be that you desire most.

 

[Burbank]

I was sexually abused when i was 5 or 6 (that period of my life is blurry). The worst part is having to face the person and act as if nothing ever happened.

I didn't even realize childhood abuse was the root of my mental illnesses, but it would make sense. That kind of thing can fuck you up more than you'd think.

It wasn't a painful or emotionally draining back then, but now i just wish i wasn't alive. It fucked up my body image and view of love too. I just don't trust men anymore, which is why i think i'll never find love.

 

[NoDream]

Yes, when i was 14y, three guys in a sauna. I was blamed of course.
This was 1989, the pain gets worse with age.

 

[Irishsteve88]

Raped and abused by dad and other men from the ages of 4 to 15 then raped again when I was 21 I'm now 30th I have never had a boyfriend I don't want one either.

 

[NoDream]

Raped and abused by dad and other men from the ages of 4 to 15 then raped again when I was 21 I'm now 30th I have never had a boyfriend I don't want one either.

Please tell me they are in prison or dead?

 

[Irishsteve88]

Please tell me they are in prison or dead?

My dad is in prison only serving 10yrs. As for the other men one is dead and the others got free. So no real justice for me

 

[Toenditall]

when i was a kid around 12-13 my best mates sister tried to rape me but as a young male i didnt understand what was going on until a few years ago

 

[journeytotheend]

I ask because I was raped in October My case is going to court and I have wanted to see if anyone else's suicidal thoughts solidified after the rape or sexual assault?

I think you are really brave to have taken the steps for it to be going to court, and I hope you are able to give yourself some credit for it. Have many times wished I was that brave when it happened to me.
Was raped by a much older woman when I was thirteen, and kept it to myself for many years. I don't view it as the main reason for my wish to ctb, but it is definitely a part of it.

 

[Final Escape]

Raped and abused by dad and other men from the ages of 4 to 15 then raped again when I was 21 I'm now 30th I have never had a boyfriend I don't want one either.

Oh that's so sad :(" I wish I could say go get help to overcome it so u can have a life still but it's not that easy to find the right help. I was abused too, never penetrated but just being violated through touching and the psychological damage and confusion about why that was happening. I was just a little kid and this gross 40 ish man is like rubbing his dick on me on top of me in my mother's bed while she's at work. He would lay on me and I'm not sure like what he was doing I might have blocked it out. I assume he was like masturbating himself on me and than passing out. I would have to pull my body out from underneath him and get out of the house or leave till my mom go home. I didn't know how to deal. I remember trying to stay away from home to avoid him. He even came to my school and tried to take me out of school so he could mess with me. It was a terrifying 6 months or so that this happened. My mother and him had a falling out and he left thank god. But I ended up really going off the rails once I hit my teen years. The promiscuity started. The damage was done, and nobody could do anything since I was scared to tell anyone. By the time I knew what happened wasn't my fault I was like 16. I had told my mother and she didn't act shocked or that suprised and makes me wonder if she knew but did nothing. With the right help I might have had a future but without getting your worldview straightened out u are doomed to a crappy adulthood. Your risk is much higher for a shitty adulthood.

 

[Idorus]

Nothing more sad to me than the overriding force called sex which makes everything in life subject to its influence. Can't describe the disgust and sadness I feel about that for a long time now.

It never happened to me but it did to my sis when she was 12 yrs old and she tried to kill herself for years after that (she's ok now).

Ghastly i know it's not anything but I couldn't read it and not say that I wish I could just squeeze your hand gently and be next to you xx

I was thinking the same. If you need our support through the process, we are here for you.

 

[Paranoid Mind]

Almost 2 years ago I was raped by my boyfriend at the time. We were both drunk. I wasn't enjoying anything of it, but I was too intoxicated to say anything. I just started crying and crying. He didn't stop.

I'm so sorry that so many of you went through this, especially as kids.

 

[Puddings]

I went through this as a child. For ten years. My parents knew about it and so did the church, but because he was high up in the church they all chose to still send me there and sweep it under the carpet. Anyway its a long complicated story. I was forced to sign letters that I will never speak about it and I was forced to confess my sins in front of elders. Once you confess you are not allowed to speak about it ever again.

When I was 26 I decided to make a case against the person. We do not have a statue of limitations on cases like this in our country. He was sent to prison for a short while, got parole and went back to live a cushy life in the church.

Although I am glad that I stood up for myself and opened it up so everyone knew what he did to me and other girls it comes at a cost. I lost my entire family and friend group and was basically shunned. And now because I got my "justice" I feel that I am not allowed to feel sad about it or to mourn my life of to suffer from complications of it because I have had my turn to get justice. I feel guilty for not being a 100% because I have had my justice and I am suppose to be over it by now and let it go. So after so many years and going through a trial, I still feel like I have no voice.

 

[TheRiverStyz]

I've been sexually assaulted (followed into the bathroom while drunk at a party), but it doesn't seem to have contributed to my depression or suicidality.

I wish you the best of luck in court and I hope you have the strength to see it through. You deserve justice.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

Yes. He was my bf at the time and essentially held me as his sex slave and prisoner. He tried to kill me when i tried leaving him...i should have just let him. Being raped and abused is one of the reasons I want to ctb. I cannot lead a normal life anymore.

 

[Charlotte The Carrot]

I have been raped before. It was not violent. I was very drunk etc and a non drunk person took advantage I guess?

I haven't wanted to have sex since so I think it didn't do me any favours :/

 

[GeorgeEastman]

It's surprising that the victims don't spend the rest of their lives trying to find some way to get revenge.

 

[Bilbobaggins]

The worst part is having to face the person and act as if nothing happened.

I hate this too