Discussion Has anyone here been raped?

[Bilbobaggins]

Raped and abused by dad and other men from the ages of 4 to 15 then raped again when I was 21 I'm now 30th I have never had a boyfriend I don't want one either.

Slightly similar story here, abused until 6 then again at 21 although I was spared inbetween. My heart goes out to you, that period would have been tough. I have never had a girlfriend but I still crave intimacy. Was even thinking of going to see a professional cuddler down in London!

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Several times including as a child by relatives. I don't get our culture on rape. It seems to matter if the victim is a valued member of the community, not when a lot of people don't care about them (like people in prison)...

Wish you the best.

 

[Ghastly]

@Ghastly i know it's not anything but I couldn't read it and not say that I wish I could just squeeze your hand gently and be next to you xx

Thank you for saying that

 

[Ghastly]

Several times including as a child by relatives. I don't get our culture on rape. It seems to matter if the victim is a valued member of the community, not when a lot of people don't care about them (like people in prison)...

Wish you the best.

So true and awful really. I am disillusioned with humanity

 

[Ghastly]

I went through this as a child. For ten years. My parents knew about it and so did the church, but because he was high up in the church they all chose to still send me there and sweep it under the carpet. Anyway its a long complicated story. I was forced to sign letters that I will never speak about it and I was forced to confess my sins in front of elders. Once you confess you are not allowed to speak about it ever again.

When I was 26 I decided to make a case against the person. We do not have a statue of limitations on cases like this in our country. He was sent to prison for a short while, got parole and went back to live a cushy life in the church.

Although I am glad that I stood up for myself and opened it up so everyone knew what he did to me and other girls it comes at a cost. I lost my entire family and friend group and was basically shunned. And now because I got my "justice" I feel that I am not allowed to feel sad about it or to mourn my life of to suffer from complications of it because I have had my turn to get justice. I feel guilty for not being a 100% because I have had my justice and I am suppose to be over it by now and let it go. So after so many years and going through a trial, I still feel like I have no voice.

I'm so sorry. I had no idea this would generate responses, I'm sorry for your pain

 

[Ghastly]

Almost 2 years ago I was raped by my boyfriend at the time. We were both drunk. I wasn't enjoying anything of it, but I was too intoxicated to say anything. I just started crying and crying. He didn't stop.

I'm so sorry that so many of you went through this, especially as kids.

I'm sorry you went through that, similar to my experience

 

[Ghastly]

I've been sexually assaulted (followed into the bathroom while drunk at a party), but it doesn't seem to have contributed to my depression or suicidality.

I wish you the best of luck in court and I hope you have the strength to see it through. You deserve justice.

Thanks for your response and encouragement

 

[Ghastly]

Slightly similar story here, abused until 6 then again at 21 although I was spared inbetween. My heart goes out to you, that period would have been tough. I have never had a girlfriend but I still crave intimacy. Was even thinking of going to see a professional cuddler down in London!

So fucked up terribly sorry to hear about your pain Cuddles are amazingly healing

 

[Ghastly]

I have been raped before. It was not violent. I was very drunk etc and a non drunk person took advantage I guess?

I haven't wanted to have sex since so I think it didn't do me any favours :/

How awful I'm sorry

 

[Ghastly]

Yes. He was my bf at the time and essentially held me as his sex slave and prisoner. He tried to kill me when i tried leaving him...i should have just let him. Being raped and abused is one of the reasons I want to ctb. I cannot lead a normal life anymore.

Wow that's so oooo fucking horrific. So sorry hope you heal in whatever way you need

 

[Ghastly]

Nothing more sad to me than the overriding force called sex which makes everything in life subject to its influence. Can't describe the disgust and sadness I feel about that for a long time now.

It never happened to me but it did to my sis when she was 12 yrs old and she tried to kill herself for years after that (she's ok now).




I was thinking the same. If you need our support through the process, we are here for you.

Thank you and I'm sorry about your sister.

 

[Ghastly]

Raped and abused by dad and other men from the ages of 4 to 15 then raped again when I was 21 I'm now 30th I have never had a boyfriend I don't want one either.

Im feel awful what a horrible man /men I'm sorry for your experience.

 

[Ghastly]

when i was a kid around 12-13 my best mates sister tried to rape me but as a young male i didnt understand what was going on until a few years ago

Jesus how traumatic so sorry!

 

[Ghastly]

Yes

So incredibly sorry if it helps you can open up no pressure

 

[Ghastly]

Yes and yes.

I'm really sorry that this happened to you.

Sorry to hear about your rape :(

 

[Ghastly]

I am so sorry you had to go through that, and are continuing to have to deal with this.

I was raped when I was 12 which is now 42 years ago. I never told anyone about it until a couple of months ago. It had/has a huge negative impact on my life.

I still blame myself which is not logical or correct.

Please try not to blame yourself. I admire your strength for going through the court process.

Thank you, this your response was really comforting

 

[Ghastly]

Sounds like PTSD. My therapist who is experienced in trauma says that Prolonged Exposure therapy is a very effective treatment. I wanted to do it but decided I'm determined to CTB instead.

Yeah probably is ptsd thanks for the response helpful to remember it's all a reaction

 

[goxua]

Yes, for some strange reason my parents had some guys living in our house for a few months. I was eleven and the three men were around 27 years old. Two would go on to abuse my younger sister and I. I asked my mother years ago...who were they and why were they living with us but in her older age bow she just fobbed it off. Wth? I have tried exploring my questions and half my family knew at the time but nobody has ever validated my concerns nor offered any sympathy or support. My sister response has always been "It wasn't that bad." She was 10 at the time. And it's how she's handled any confrontation or upsetting issue.

A few therapists greatly suspect I was abused as a young child as I have memories being led away from daycare to a carer's appartment and weeks later, being found out by that same carer...stuffing like heaps of toilet tissue in my underpants (repetively) after using the bathroom.

And I was also raped by partner...my first and my last (who raped me 7 days after giving birth).

 

[opiategirl]

yes.

 

[CJM]

That is absolutely sickening Ghastly. I'm so sorry to hear that.

 

[Ghastly]

That is absolutely sickening Ghastly. I'm so sorry to hear that.

Thank you

 

[123die]

Yes, hello, I relate. My ex-boyfriend pretty much raped on a regular basis for over a year

 

[Vegrau]

Is getting grind on and told to suck someone off be considered rape? When I am just around 5 years old?

 

[123die]

Is getting grind on and told to suck someone off be considered rape? When I am just around 5 years old?

That's sexual assault. No less traumatic though.

 

[Vegrau]

That's sexual assault. No less traumatic though.

I see.

 

[Kim]

Yes

 

[Jake.123]

Yeah i was 7 another older boy took advantage. I dont see sex as a positive thing my head confuses the two i guess. Also made me question my sexuality for a bit. I still blame myself alot.

 

[YukiFox]

I was raped two years ago. I was drunk and I only remember my crying for the penetration. Since I was clueless about who raped me and for that time I was illegal migrant (Long story but fortunately I'm legal resident today) I desist to complain at the police since I feared to be deported at that time. Since then I can't enjoy sex.

 

[Emily123]

I am transgender and I borned in a country that there is sepration between girls and boys from childhood . I was raped a number of times when I was a children and teenager or even in my 20's . The worst one was when I was 14 years old . A man jumped at me in the street and when I was struggling to get rid of him he beat me . It was a very difficult time for me , I can never forget his face . My dad was a tough man and I could not even talk with my parents about that incident . I cried a lot when I was alone and I was always thinking that there must be something wrong with me that he selected me over other children . I was in a very painful realtionship a few months ago and it was all because of that damage in my childhood . I had a friend and she was also a trans girl and she had an abusive boy friend . I started loving her after she was raped by her boy friend and I found her in hospital after a suicide attempt . She told me that she did not love that boy but she was in the relationship with him because she needed money for her surgery . I paid for her surgery because I just wanted her to be happy . She started telling me that she loved me and I started loving her too . She was from a very poor family and I was always feeling that I need to do whatever that I can to make her happy . Once my therapist told me that she was nothing but my childhood and I did nothing but trying to help my childhood when there was nobody to help her. It was very painful . I cried a lot after I heard that but it was a reality . I failed to help my childhood and unfortuantley I failed to help that girl too

 

[crea_the_hopeless]

I was molested at a young age (between 5&7). I blocked that out for a while. I was raped my freshman year of college and it fucked me up. It made me relive previous traumas and it caused me to feel like I have no meaning. All men do is use me and my body. I hate sex but I go with it because I feel I deserve those bad feelings. Idk it's weird. It's just another way I self harm besides cutting and other risky behaviors.