Help Has anyone ever overcame self hatred. If so how?

[TheCavernousDeep.]

I absolutely hate myself. It has gotten so bad that suicide is feeling like the only dignified choice that's left to me. I feel like I am lazy, wasteful, ignorant, selfish, unstable, pathetic, and just overall a low value human.

But I don't have any deeply rooted external trauma. I had good parents, lots of opportunities, etc. I really don't have any external thing to blame for my self hatred, from my pov I do just hate myself because I suck.

Is there any way past this? At all? I am living in torture at the hands of my own mind every day. I carry so much shame for who I am, it's absolutely crippling. I want to stop thinking like this so I can live my life but, loving myself feels like pretending the sky is green.

How do you overcome self hatred? Can it be done?

 

[Kanoh]

In general after years of doing it, I hold therapies in low regard but in your particular case I think it would work well.

 

[FoxSauce]

Im still working on it, short answer no

 

[westerly_merlin]

Working on it with therapist, it is hard though. Even when we work on positives about myself I can find many more negatives. Many years of being harsh on myself (and believing those that say/think bad things about me).

Hoping I will get there though, or at least be comfortable to share the same space as myself one day.

It is easier to see good in others than to believe you have good in you.

 

[Isolatedloser]

Working on unsticking my mind. Seems to be working.

 

[TheCavernousDeep.]

Working on it with therapist, it is hard though. Even when we work on positives about myself I can find many more negatives. Many years of being harsh on myself (and believing those that say/think bad things about me).

Hoping I will get there though, or at least be comfortable to share the same space as myself one day.

It is easier to see good in others than to believe you have good in you.

Any particular approaches that were helpful? I have struggled to get much out of therapy but I do see how it could be worth trying again.

 

[LittleJem]

It is risky, but psychedelics did help me with this, but in combination with other people ideally. That's tricky. I don't know if I recommend it or not, but ayahuasca removed my self hatred, but I still have horrendous depression. If you can do it/want to take the risk, find an experienced guide.

 

[pyamu]

yes... but i turn the self hatred i used to have to external hatred. Once you logic your way through how society, the various systems we cannot escape from, and how mean people affect us and our mental health, it becomes easy to move that hate from yourself to other people.

 

[westerly_merlin]

Any particular approaches that were helpful? I have struggled to get much out of therapy but I do see how it could be worth trying again.

partly thinking of myself in the third party and assessing myself as if I was someone else and give them support.

I am an older person and having a low sense of self worth has driven me really really hard, constantly trying to be perfect at everything I do was exhausting but had the effect of making me good at what I do and on the outside quite successful. I now manage a team of people and I am a supportive and nurturing manager. I just have to sometimes think of myself as one of my team rather than someone who is not as perfect as I should be.

So yes, I do now give myself a little pat on the back when I have done something well the same way I would give anyone else a cheer for doing the same.

It has taken me 50 years and a pretty big breakdown to learn that you don't have to get 100% every time or you are a failure.

I will caveat the above with "I am still my harshest critic" and do lapse in self abuse for making stupid mistakes still