You really believe that was the actual reason he did it? Who the hell knows what his life was really like? Only one person irl knows my story, everyone else thinks I'm doing fine. Even ordinary people fake happiness all the time, let alone celebrities. I'm not shocked when anyone kills themselves, we're all just vulnerable human beings.
Well, not "really really". It's true that it could have been any reason and any number or reasons. It was also a suicide with gun so he might have just grabbed a gun and shot himself without thinking much in rage (and maybe alcohol). If he had to find out a way to order N or SN and then wait for N/SN and then drink it and take those anti-vomit things he might have cooled down by then. If i had to guess, it was alcohol, plus easy access to gun, plus rage, plus something like "I believe in true love and I'm always loyal but every one of my girlfriends and wives have cheated on me.". I'm not married but if I was, I wouldn't ctb just after seeing a photo of spouse with Brad Pitt, but I am loyal and believer in true love, so if I found out my spouse had fucked every celebrity ever while I'm at home taking care of kids, cooking dinners, etc., I'd say fuck this shit.
What I meant was. "That person had a better life than 99% of us and still he killed himself. I have a much worse life, so I have a right/I should kill myself too". It was a motivator for me. Like, I don't have a good life if a person with a better life kills himself. Everyone always tells "There are so many who are doing worse than you and are still living and trying their best." It put my life into perspective. Because I always thought "If I was X and Y then I wouldn't have a reason to ctb" but when a person who has X and Y still kills himself... Like when I was a teen I thought "If I had a bf/gf it would solve all my problems, I'd never kill myself!" but then people with bf/gf ended up killing themselves and it made me think differently.
I just remembered something. Someone on another site (I guess it was redd's suicide subredd before it was banned) said that his life looked perfect, he had a good job, money, he was good-looking, he was healthy, his parents were proud of him. He seemed like the perfect son. But what no one knew was that he was gay and thus he lived in a constant agony because he couldn't tell his parents or anyone else that he prefers men. And then his parents started to speak that he should get married to a good woman and he was like "No one will ever accept me as gay, but I don't want to marry a woman. So I'd rather die".
I wish there were no such bad parents or cultures. I'm not straight either but even when my house is full of LGBT merchandise and I've displayed no interest in getting anyone and I have never dated, everyone always assumes I'm straight. I told an ex-friend many times that I'm not straight and every time he "conveniently" forgot it. I had one nice psychologist who was very pro-LGBT but then I had an old conservative psychologist who told me to marry someone of the opposite sex and have kids. Fuck psychologists. What's the reason to even go to a psychologist when you can't say "I'm an LGBT person, antinatalist, etc. so I want a psychologist who won't shame me.".