hanging on for my parents

[jakethesnake]

I am basically ready and willing now. I have everything I need, and have the will to do it.

I am only hanging on now because I don't want to hurt my parents.

How do you deal with this yourself?

 

[dudebl]

I'm in the same boat - I'm an only child and my mom was a single mother - I can't hurt her but I need out.

It sucks.

 

[InsomniacPhantom]

How do you deal with this yourself?

Sometimes the pain gets so bad that you don't care much anymore.
You become so desperate and tired of suffering that you downplay the importance of how they would feel.
So you settle for doing what you can to reduce the pain, like writing a letter.

 

[kufajoy]

Same thing going on with me. Already fixed a date for the bus. Ik it will hurt them so much but people heal ;) so ig it's okay

 

[Terrible_Life]

I am basically ready and willing now. I have everything I need, and have the will to do it.

I am only hanging on now because I don't want to hurt my parents.

How do you deal with this yourself?

My parents are a huge part of why I am here now so close to die but still this factor stopped me but now I don't give a damn any more in the end of the day its me the one who is going through hell who is being forced to endure this nightmare not them so it is my right to end this contaminated life and prevent a more painful and sad future

 

[decafcheeseburger]

Are you still here?

 

[idontknowwhatiam]

I am basically ready and willing now. I have everything I need, and have the will to do it.

I am only hanging on now because I don't want to hurt my parents.

How do you deal with this yourself?

That's a great reason to want to hang on

 

[SufferingDev]

To be fair my point of view was it would be the best to make people hate you - but it's not easy, especially with parents

 

[StillLife]

Yeah, just my mom.

Lately I've been convincing myself that it's better I die young and able than older, battered, and bitter.
Then I remember her faces of anguish I've seen from other tragedies and...man...it demolishes me...

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I applaud you for doing that, especially if your parents were good to you. I kind of did the same thing for my mom. She needed me since there was no one else and she was homebound.

 

[simplymiserable]

Same. I think they'll be here another 30 years. Doomscroll, sleep and stone in the meantime. It's mental torture

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm trying to hold on for my Dad but, it's becoming increasingly difficult.

As to how- one foot in front of the other. Just try to get through day by day. Do the barest minimum for life not to get any worse. Remind myself it can't be all that long now.

I can't say it's working so well now. I have had ideation for 36 years but, the past couple have been getting far worse.

What doesn't help at all is- my Dad doesn't realise how I feel (although it really ought to be obvious,) so- puts the same sort of pressures I imagine most people are under- are you earning enough? You should be putting by for your pension. You need to do this or that in life. Which is just really triggering me.

 

[jakethesnake]

Are you still here?

Unfortunately lol

 

[android]

Felt this too but increasingly don't really care. I don't know my parents anymore and they don't know me, even though we speak every day. I don't know me.