Hanging myself soon

[nemesis-to-myself]

So, I've come to the point where this is going to happen. I have decided to climb up a tree as out of sight as possible and hang myself. My goal is to never ever be found, at least not for years.

I won't have my phone with me and I won't leave a parked car anywhere nearby. I think I can bear it if my family doesn't know for sure I am dead.

My wife is completely sick of me. She says she is just staying until the children leave for college and then I will "be replaced".

I have no friends, absolutely none. I am pretty sure I have Asperger's. I have always been accused of being unemotional and distant. I'm not, I just never can express myself like a normal person.

I am tired of feeling different and out of place. Tired of the criticism. Tired of life. I really do hate myself.

 

[Someone123]

So, I've come to the point where this is going to happen. I have decided to climb up a tree as out of sight as possible and hang myself. My goal is to never ever be found, at least not for years.

I won't have my phone with me and I won't leave a parked car anywhere nearby. I think I can bear it if my family doesn't know for sure I am dead.

My wife is completely sick of me. She says she is just staying until the children leave for college and then I will "be replaced".

I have no friends, absolutely none. I am pretty sure I have Asperger's. I have always been accused of being unemotional and distant. I'm not, I just never can express myself like a normal person.

I am tired of feeling different and out of place. Tired of the criticism. Tired of life. I really do hate myself.

I can understand wanting relief from the pain, I have the same situation, but it will stress out anyone who cares about you if you can't be found, especially your kids. If that's what you want, then that's your choice. But if you don't want that then having a car near enough by that they can find you might be a better option.

 

[Zegers]

I am tired of feeling different and out of place

I hear you. I hope you can find the peace in whatever you decide.

 

[Ashu]

I can understand wanting relief from the pain, I have the same situation, but it will stress out anyone who cares about you if you can't be found, especially your kids. If that's what you want, then that's your choice. But if you don't want that then having a car near enough by that they can find you might be a better option.

Better for them not to know, as he says.

 

[peanuts]

I am tired of feeling different and out of place. Tired of the criticism. Tired of life. I really do hate myself.

Life is so cruel, and so exhausting. I am sorry you've had to deal with that and that your wife is saying what she is. Wishing you peace xx

 

[Seeking_Peace]

So, I've come to the point where this is going to happen. I have decided to climb up a tree as out of sight as possible and hang myself. My goal is to never ever be found, at least not for years.

I won't have my phone with me and I won't leave a parked car anywhere nearby. I think I can bear it if my family doesn't know for sure I am dead.

My wife is completely sick of me. She says she is just staying until the children leave for college and then I will "be replaced".

I have no friends, absolutely none. I am pretty sure I have Asperger's. I have always been accused of being unemotional and distant. I'm not, I just never can express myself like a normal person.

I am tired of feeling different and out of place. Tired of the criticism. Tired of life. I really do hate myself.

What do marriage vows mean anymore. Sorry for you.

 

[Someone123]

Better for them not to know, as he says.

But then every day they are in pain, wondering- should we try to rescue him from somewhere? They will have much less pain and will be able to grieve if they know. If he is mad at them and wants to inflict more pain on them his plan will work well, though.

 

[thelocalmoon]

So, I've come to the point where this is going to happen. I have decided to climb up a tree as out of sight as possible and hang myself. My goal is to never ever be found, at least not for years.

I won't have my phone with me and I won't leave a parked car anywhere nearby. I think I can bear it if my family doesn't know for sure I am dead.

My wife is completely sick of me. She says she is just staying until the children leave for college and then I will "be replaced".

I have no friends, absolutely none. I am pretty sure I have Asperger's. I have always been accused of being unemotional and distant. I'm not, I just never can express myself like a normal person.

I am tired of feeling different and out of place. Tired of the criticism. Tired of life. I really do hate myself.

I'm so sorry that you've had to live that way. I wish you peace.

 

[nemesis-to-myself]

especially your kids

You are definitely right about that. It would be horrible for them either way.

I don't know what the fuck to do.

How bad is it to hate life and not be able to leave?

Maybe I should buy a plane ticket to somewhere on the other side of the world and then do it there. Then they'll think maybe I got murdered or had an accident.

 

[Seeking_Peace]

You can travel to North Korea and do something unusual and immediately get arrested for espionage. Kim Jong Un has a quick trigger. This is extreme but if to avoid suicide image for your kids. I can't think of another believable way. Is divorce an option? Your wife isn't helping your peace of mind.

 

[Someone123]

You are definitely right about that. It would be horrible for them either way.

I don't know what the fuck to do.

How bad is it to hate life and not be able to leave?

Maybe I should buy a plane ticket to somewhere on the other side of the world and then do it there. Then they'll think maybe I got murdered or had an accident.

No because every day they would wonder if you were being held captive and being raped every day, which has happened to some people. If you don't want them to be tortured like this every day you need to let someone find the body pretty quickly. Then they can mourn and move on the best they can.

 

[dredd1981]

So, I've come to the point where this is going to happen. I have decided to climb up a tree as out of sight as possible and hang myself. My goal is to never ever be found, at least not for years.

I won't have my phone with me and I won't leave a parked car anywhere nearby. I think I can bear it if my family doesn't know for sure I am dead.

My wife is completely sick of me. She says she is just staying until the children leave for college and then I will "be replaced".

I have no friends, absolutely none. I am pretty sure I have Asperger's. I have always been accused of being unemotional and distant. I'm not, I just never can express myself like a normal person.

I am tired of feeling different and out of place. Tired of the criticism. Tired of life. I really do hate myself.

My friend, the best thing you can do is get rid of that bitch wife of yours. If she's driving you toward suicide, then get rid of her. No one should wield so much power over you that you want to kill yourself. My advice would be to open a secret bank account, save as much money as you can then go rent somewhere and divorce her ass. I stayed with someone for years who, in retrospect, was no good for me. Go to YouTube and look up a channel called "better bachelor" and look at this guys videos. Stay strong, king.

 

[Lebensunwertes]

I'd rather get the Asperger's diagnosed first, then work on the marriage. If your wife is the main driving point towards suicide then cutting her off would be first reasonable choice as others mentioned.

As for means of an end - you should review how your insurance policies (granted you have any) approach death by suicide.

 

[Chronic]

My friend, the best thing you can do is get rid of that bitch wife of yours. If she's driving you toward suicide, then get rid of her. No one should wield so much power over you that you want to kill yourself. My advice would be to open a secret bank account, save as much money as you can then go rent somewhere and divorce her ass. I stayed with someone for years who, in retrospect, was no good for me. Go to YouTube and look up a channel called "better bachelor" and look at this guys videos. Stay strong, king.

You are correct. It is extremely hard to endure but getting a divorce significantly improved my mental health. I didn't want a divorce but living with an abusive person who was vocally expressing that they wished I would kill myself is literally hell. Two years later after leaving the home and all my possessions I am doing a bit better and somehow survived the divorce and the abuse I endured during the process. I miss the good times early on in the relationship but I don't miss what it became.

OP, please check out this pdf on power, abuse and equality and if you are in an abusive relationship then GTFO asap.

 

[dredd1981]

You are correct. It is extremely hard to endure but getting a divorce significantly improved my mental health. I didn't want a divorce but living with an abusive person who was vocally expressing that they wished I would kill myself is literally hell. Two years later after leaving the home and all my possessions I am doing a bit better and somehow survived the divorce and the abuse I endured during the process. I miss the good times early on in the relationship but I don't miss what it became.

OP, please check out this pdf on power, abuse and equality and if you are in an abusive relationship then GTFO asap.

I hear ya. I'm a retired cop, I'm only 41 but had to be medically retired back in 2019 due to degenerative disc disease. Met my wife in work around 2007, dated for a few years and moved in with her. Was with her for 8 years before I decided to marry her. We got on really well, she was kind and affectionate, I thought I had met "the one". But I'd noticed that, bar about 2-3 occasions, I was always the one to initiate anything intimate….around 2017 or so I decided I wouldn't bother and see what she did. Basically we didn't have any intimacy at all for the next 5 years. Last Xmas I had a nervous breakdown due to ptsd and tried to eat my gun. My wife decided to kick me out of the house, tell me I wasn't allowed back in then a few weeks later broke up with me. I was depressed and suicidal for months after, only now am I hopefully rounding the corner. But I found out a couple of things. She always told me that the house we lived in was rented from her parents. That was a lie, I later found out she owns the house. Before we got married her mum wanted me to sign a pre nup, wisely I said no…..so she went off and made up a will that basically ensured I'd be homeless if she died before me. Knowing this makes the split easier to handle, she was lying to me and conspiring against me from the get go. And now, she's going to have to give me a fairly big % of that house in the divorce. So hopefully I can get a win to offset all the kings out there who got fleeced by their ex's.
As for women…..I've looked at dating sites and after a certain age, probably around 35, your options are crazy girls, fat girls or single mums…..sometimes all 3. And I don't want any of that. Sure it'll be lonely, but I have two great dogs and hopefully I can learn to be happy by myself. I don't want to be in a position ever again where someone else can wield such power over my mental health…..and neither should any of you guys or op. It took me months to realise it but I'm genuinely better off without her. F**k her and her family and f**k op's wife too. I miss the girl I fell in love with, but I don't miss what she turned into.
Stay strong.

So, I've come to the point where this is going to happen. I have decided to climb up a tree as out of sight as possible and hang myself. My goal is to never ever be found, at least not for years.

I won't have my phone with me and I won't leave a parked car anywhere nearby. I think I can bear it if my family doesn't know for sure I am dead.

My wife is completely sick of me. She says she is just staying until the children leave for college and then I will "be replaced".

I have no friends, absolutely none. I am pretty sure I have Asperger's. I have always been accused of being unemotional and distant. I'm not, I just never can express myself like a normal person.

I am tired of feeling different and out of place. Tired of the criticism. Tired of life. I really do hate myself.

Check out this channel, it's helped me

https://www.youtube.com/c/BetterBachelor

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you have suffered so unbearably in life. I know that it is hard to carry on when you are so tired of everything. I wish you relief from pain in whatever you decide to do.

 

[sfabians]

I have no friends, absolutely none. I am pretty sure I have Asperger's. I have always been accused of being unemotional and distant. I'm not, I just never can express myself like a normal person.

I am tired of feeling different and out of place. Tired of the criticism. Tired of life. I really do hate myself.

If you are looking for an Autism support group, here is a Link.
Are you accepting PM's ? please

 

[nemesis-to-myself]

I just found out that wife didn't invite my parents and my brother to our own son's graduation and threw an absolute shitshow when I objected.

I have nothing. Both sons moving out in 3 months, my wife hates me and my family estranged. Fuck.

 

[iwanttohugthetrees]

You are definitely right about that. It would be horrible for them either way.

I don't know what the fuck to do.

How bad is it to hate life and not be able to leave?

Maybe I should buy a plane ticket to somewhere on the other side of the world and then do it there. Then they'll think maybe I got murdered or had an accident.

you sound like me )
have you tried different options,like leaving your wife maybe
moving to a different place, taking pills
therapy?

and your username almost made me cry
stay strong, in times like this it feels that no one cares or loves us
I am sure there couple people who love you very much

 

[whatevs]

Oh shit this post hits close to home. So you got the job, the partner, the house, the kids, but you still feel alienated and tormented by your mental illness, which is probably related with autism? It´s not easy to escape this curse, is it?

I really like your idea of trying to never be found and climbing on a tree, it´s unusual and adventurous, have you prepared for that realistically?

Of course, I´m sad that a fellow aspie is friendless and out of place in the world to the point of suicide. Considering that you have come this far in life (because you have, don´t lie to yourself), I would consider other options first, which you probably have.

 

[nemesis-to-myself]

first of all thanks for the replies. Surprised anyone wants to help at all. Have I prepared for this? Well, I bought the rope. It's in my car right now. When I am driving I see a group of trees and look to see if any of them would be easy to climb.

Has this talking helped? I guess I am getting convinced that disappearing forever would torture people I don't want to hurt.

I'm just too afraid of being alone to leave my wife. I would see my kids like half as much as I do know and the thought of sitting alone in a new house or apartment after work each day sounds worse then death.

I would love to have another option other than suicide vs more decades of isolation.

What the fuck was the point of me even being born?

Ever see that Simpsons episode where Moe talks to his noose "not today my friend, but the holidays are just around the corner"? The rope is kind of consoling to know I have it.

Fuck I hate myself.

 

[imwithyouinthis]

you sound like me )
have you tried different options,like leaving your wife maybe
moving to a different place, taking pills
therapy?

and your username almost made me cry
stay strong, in times like this it feels that no one cares or loves us
I am sure there couple people who love you very much

Seems to me that just because people love us, ( in my experience it has usually been conditional love.)
anyway, being loved from a distance and feeling the coolness from the aledged love, as in," Ilove you, hope things get better for you soon", bs so called Al- anon detach with love stuff is not enough to carry one through the darkest deepest depths whether they come from a mental illness or a disease or something that hasn't been diagnosed there are parts of the brain that call bullshit on all that and say alrighty then I am good to go.

 

[sfabians]

I have no friends, absolutely none. I am pretty sure I have Asperger's. I have always been accused of being unemotional and distant. I'm not, I just never can express myself like a normal person.

I am tired of feeling different and out of place. Tired of the criticism. Tired of life. I really do hate myself.

I would like to discuss what you have shared, if you don't mind. But I can't send you a message when I try to do so.

 

[Someone123]

I'm just too afraid of being alone to leave my wife. I would see my kids like half as much as I do know and the thought of sitting alone in a new house or apartment after work each day sounds worse then death.

You're right about this. I hope you can find peace somehow, by making your life more bearable is usually best if possible, or by however you think is best.

 

[nemesis-to-myself]

I would like to discuss what you have shared, if you don't mind. But I can't send you a message when I try to do so.

I followed you - will that allow you to send me a message?

 

[sfabians]

I followed you - will that allow you to send me a message?

Could it be that messaging is disabled in your settings? Or it may be that yor profile is very new.

 

[Endtimes1]

He probably needs to do more postings before he can message.

 

[Someone123]

I followed you - will that allow you to send me a message?

I'm pretty sure you need to post more messages- maybe up to 20 or 25, not sure when DMs kick in.

 

[Endtimes1]

So, I've come to the point where this is going to happen. I have decided to climb up a tree as out of sight as possible and hang myself. My goal is to never ever be found, at least not for years.

I won't have my phone with me and I won't leave a parked car anywhere nearby. I think I can bear it if my family doesn't know for sure I am dead.

My wife is completely sick of me. She says she is just staying until the children leave for college and then I will "be replaced".

I have no friends, absolutely none. I am pretty sure I have Asperger's. I have always been accused of being unemotional and distant. I'm not, I just never can express myself like a normal person.

I am tired of feeling different and out of place. Tired of the criticism. Tired of life. I really do hate myself.

You managed to get a partner once and I think if you read a few books about being social and finding partners you could get a better situation.

Or watching a few YouTube videos, if you like this better.

 

[dredd1981]

first of all thanks for the replies. Surprised anyone wants to help at all. Have I prepared for this? Well, I bought the rope. It's in my car right now. When I am driving I see a group of trees and look to see if any of them would be easy to climb.

Has this talking helped? I guess I am getting convinced that disappearing forever would torture people I don't want to hurt.

I'm just too afraid of being alone to leave my wife. I would see my kids like half as much as I do know and the thought of sitting alone in a new house or apartment after work each day sounds worse then death.

I would love to have another option other than suicide vs more decades of isolation.

What the fuck was the point of me even being born?

Ever see that Simpsons episode where Moe talks to his noose "not today my friend, but the holidays are just around the corner"? The rope is kind of consoling to know I have it.

Fuck I hate myself.

Dude, she's no good for you. When I split up with my wife, despite how she treated me, all I wanted was to get back together….it's a form of Stockholm syndrome. And you're the same, even though she's clearly bringing you down, you're scared to leave her, maybe because she represents stability or something. It took me many months to round the corner but I've finally realised that she was no good for me, she didn't care about me and I'm better off without her. If you haven't already, definitely check out that "better bachelor" YouTube channel, it's really helped me see things from a different perspective. You don't need a woman in your life to be happy, you don't need a woman in your life for your life to have meaning and, if she's openly encouraging you to end it, you really don't need her in your life.