Resource [Guide] Even when planning to CTB, don't let one's own life fall apart!

[TAW122]

A fair amount of SaSu members probably already knows this and perhaps I may be preaching to the choir here, but I'm writing this thread for those who don't know or haven't given much thought about it. Even as someone who is eventually going to CTB (no exact date or time yet, still waiting on circumstances to align, etc.), I would NOT ever just let everything fall apart for both personal, but more importantly, PRACTICAL reasons. This is because (albeit small chance) in the event that things go wrong, or if one changes one's mind (even up until the last moment, which is not uncommon), one may find oneself in a worse situation, especially if one already burned all the bridges they had before they have (attempted to) CTB'd or if things don't go well.

What do I mean by not letting one's own life fall apart completely? By this I mean not to give off too many signs or end up giving up everything (job/finances/personal hygiene/things in one's life for stability/etc.). (Mini disclaimer: Everyone's own personal circumstance is unique, but this is more of a general guide for reference and just some factors to consider when one is planning to CTB! It doesn't apply to EVERY single situation universally.) With that in mind, the more practical reasons for not doing so, is of course, not giving off "signs" of planning or attempting to CTB. It is important, especially when planning to CTB not to give off signs or even hints that one is planning to CTB as that only invites scrutiny and inquisition into one's own personal affairs, personal life, which is the last thing we want when we are planning and even preparing to CTB! As usual, CTB is still heavily stigmatized and most of us who are DIY'ing still have to tread very carefully to not have our plan to CTB be foiled or compromised in any way.

For example, even if someone is planning to CTB, one doesn't want to give away all of one's possessions because for some people, they recognize that as a sign of planning (or attempting to) CTB soon, and as we know, many forced-lifers (pro-lifers) would act on that to intervene against said person's will in hopes to save them or prevent CTB. Another thing is not to just burn bridges (as some may think of) for two reasons: One of the reasons is that in case one fails to CTB or changes one's own mind, if they burned their bridges, they have a harder time to deal with the fallout afterwards, meaning that they would have an even harder life. Then of course, the other reason being that driving people away deliberately does lead to people becoming more curious about said person's life and even more invasive over their sudden change in behavior (even if it doesn't immediately link one's intention to CTB).

In the end, this is just a general guide of things to consider and things to be aware of when planning to CTB, and I've only strongly advise against letting everything fall apart in one's life because sometimes if/when things don't work out, one doesn't want to make things worse for them in case they either change their mind, postpone their CTB, or if they fail, and end up in a worse situation than before! Nevertheless, every person's personal situation is/may be different and this is just for informational purposes. Ultimately, one's decision to CTB is one's own decision and theirs alone, however, in the event of things not going to plan or things changing, it is always wise to have one's infrastructure intact in case they have to return or things change.

 

[poppies2sleep]

So true…..I have basically lost all of my friends/connections due to my breakdown and now that I'm still here I deeply regret it. Now it's basically my exile and then offing myself essentially. By the time I got out of my delusional state, I attempted to repair things no one wanted to touch me with a ten foot pole.

Now I question if anyone remaining is just afraid I'm going to hang myself so they have me tag along out of pity.

It would have been nice to have ended things surrounded by community and family, but that's alright. It just accelerated my process a little faster than expected.

 

[explosiveKai99]

Well, I did everything exactly the opposite. Fuck my life.

 

[UserFromNowhere]

I was pretty much going to make this exact thread. You always want to present the illusion that you're doing fine to the rest of society so they don't see fit to intervene.

 

[TAW122]

@poppies2sleep Yeah, my social life IRL is basically non-existent, and I don't really have people who invite me to do stuff or so. Not that I would care much either way since I find most people even in adulthood just to be superficial and such. I think if I suddenly died (whether CTB or not), yeah some people if they know, they will feign sadness and stuff (mainly just virtue signaling and acting sad for social acceptance, etc.), but in reality, they will move on quickly..

@explosiveKai99 Sorry to hear about how things became worse, and that was one of my fears if I let things go IRL or just actively sabotage my own current life, which would have been much worse than what I am suffering at.

@UserFromNowhere It looks like I had the right idea too and I'm glad I'm not the only person who thinks similarly. I guess what is different from others is I often have my own ideas but just approached and framed things a bit differently; like I may approach a certain point from a different angle, or explain things in a way that isn't always what people expect, even if I get to the same conclusion but different reasonings or so..