raiseurweapon
Member
- Feb 22, 2023
- 24
ive known the boy ive been with since i was 18, im almost 21 now. but i found out he was cheating on me our entire relationship with someone he's known since he was 15. i feel so defeated especially because ive already been severely depressed. im angry because all i asked for was honesty when i was suspicious. now he is with the girl he was messing with since we been together. i wanted to only be with one person my entire life and it feels like he ripped it away from me. why did he beg for me to stay with him days prior.. he left me when my family left town and i had to handle the downfall alone. he knew ive harmed myself and tried to take my life in the past. the girl he was messing with messaged me and i found out he lied to me about everything ( yet this is the girl that stayed with him after finding out) why do i care if they work out or not? how could they after this? anyways, i didnt even wanna love him in the first place because i was scared of exactly this. he really was the only one in my eyes. i never even thought of anyone else for a split second. he promised me he wouldnt leave me like this but he did. i already wanted to die but this makes it sooooo much harder to keep going. i havent looked at his shit because now that girl is posted everywhere. he was my bestfriend. i feel like this changed me as a person. how could he lie to me for that long?.. why wasnt i good enough? him literally choosing another girl infront of me makes me wanna peel my skin off with a razor. just want to know how u can fuck up someone like this. i didnt talk about my mental health around him and he told me i made him happy. he acted like i was perfect and even said "i choose you, nobody else" my heart is heavy, if i dont die i dont want this to fucking mentally ruin me. i dont know how i could ever trust someeone again. i cant eat or sleep since i found everything out. the universe wants me to suffer lol.