Goodbye posts vs. actually doing it

[dkrw]

So many people on this forum create goodbye posts just to not commit to CTB.

I understand it is hard due to SI, but I am just wondering for those who have been on this forum for a longer time— how many people you know from here actually CTB?

And for those who backed out at the last moment, what happened that made you fail/back out?

I'd like to hear your experiences so I can overcome my own SI.

 

[Abyssal]

So many people on this forum create goodbye posts just to not commit to CTB.

I understand it is hard due to SI, but I am just wondering for those who have been on this forum for a longer time— how many people you know from here actually CTB?

Many don't make threads. I'm also guilty of making a thread and backing out. Ctb is hard.

 

[dkrw]

Many don't make threads. I'm also guilty of making a thread and backing out. Ctb is hard.

Can I ask you what happened that made you back out?

 

[Abyssal]

Can I ask you what happened that made you back out?

I don't feel like talking about it right now, sorry nothing personal.

 

[dkrw]

I don't feel like talking about it right now, sorry nothing personal.

I understand of course

 

[goodoldnoname923]

So many people on this forum create goodbye posts just to not commit to CTB.

I understand it is hard due to SI, but I am just wondering for those who have been on this forum for a longer time— how many people you know from here actually CTB?

And for those who backed out at the last moment, what happened that made you fail/back out?

I'd like to hear your experiences so I can overcome my own SI.

As someone who currently has an ongoing goodbye thread i believe it varies from person to person.

Like when i made that thread my days genuinely felt numbered as i was determined to CTB but over time that determination just sorta vanished

The want to die is still there and stronger than ever but now i just feel…yea

 

[DepressedDude]

I backed out of jumping a few times because I was literally frozen standing near the edge, it's like your mind won't allow your body to move another step plus it's scary asf looking down.

This was multiple times on the top of a cell transmission tower, I'm glad I didn't go through with it because it was only about 5 stories high and I would've landed on my feet so likely paralyzed for the past 15 years if I jumped.

Only one time I was in a high enough place was a railway bridge that was about 10 stories high, there was even a little memorial at the base because someone else had killed themselves there. Again it was the same problem being frozen plus the only hard surface was a narrow path at the base.

 

[justcallmeJ]

I was gonna take sn at a nice lake while listening to music and smoke a bit. I was calm the whole time untill the moment i was preparing the sn. I slowly panicked more and more and when i had my sn ready everything went badly. Heart was pounding, couldnt breath, couldnt move my arms and legs anymore. I became so scared i had to call it off. Im not sure what caused it but often i still regret not being able to pull it off

 

[rozeske]

I think there is more gt than actual ctbs, including myself...I only had 1 attempt and have backed out almost every week for a few months continuously, I have mostly calmed down now. Reasons..mostly anxiety and panic at the last moments, unfavourable conditions, SI coming up with ridiculous reasons why i should postpone for a week...

 

[Praestat_Mori]

We may feel ready to go but it needs so much more courage to do the very last step.

 

[sorrowful]

I've known a few. I always feel a little remorseful when I do not see the thread in time. There is one person on here that I wish I had the chance to say goodbye to, as they were kind to me in a horrible situation and I didn't get to express my gratitude for that. I only hope that their souls found solace in the embrace of eternal rest.

 

[dkrw]

As someone who currently has an ongoing goodbye thread i believe it varies from person to person.

Like when i made that thread my days genuinely felt numbered as i was determined to CTB but over time that determination just sorta vanished

The want to die is still there and stronger than ever but now i just feel…yea

I was gonna take sn at a nice lake while listening to music and smoke a bit. I was calm the whole time untill the moment i was preparing the sn. I slowly panicked more and more and when i had my sn ready everything went badly. Heart was pounding, couldnt breath, couldnt move my arms and legs anymore. I became so scared i had to call it off. Im not sure what caused it but often i still regret not being able to pull it off

would you try it again in this way?

We may feel ready to go but it needs so much more courage to do the very last step.

I backed out of jumping a few times because I was literally frozen standing near the edge, it's like your mind won't allow your body to move another step plus it's scary asf looking down.

This was multiple times on the top of a cell transmission tower, I'm glad I didn't go through with it because it was only about 5 stories high and I would've landed on my feet so likely paralyzed for the past 15 years if I jumped.

Only one time I was in a high enough place was a railway bridge that was about 10 stories high, there was even a little memorial at the base because someone else had killed themselves there. Again it was the same problem being frozen plus the only hard surface was a narrow path at the base.

I see jumping can be very difficult. It may be over super quickly, or you can completely cripple yourself. That's why I couldn't get myself to do that…

would you try another method that is not jumping?

 

[justcallmeJ]

would you try it again in this way?

Depends if my sn is still ok, otherwise some sort of hanging maybe

 

[goodoldnoname923]

would you try it again in this way?


I see jumping can be very difficult. It may be over super quickly, or you can completely cripple yourself. That's why I couldn't get myself to do that…

would you try another method that is not jumping?

In terms of making the thread or trying the method i have?

 

[dkrw]

In terms of making the thread or trying the method i have?

aha.. I wanted to ask the method but perhaps you can answer both

 

[goodoldnoname923]

aha.. I wanted to ask the method but perhaps you can answer both

Making a thread again i can probably use the older one don't see a reason to make a new one really.

As for the CO method i plan to do so again I'm just waiting until I'm "fully ready" whenever that is

 

[dkrw]

Making a thread again i can probably use the older one don't see a reason to make a new one really.

As for the CO method i plan to do so again I'm just waiting until I'm "fully ready" whenever that is

what do you think does it take to be fully ready?
I'm trying to prepare my heart too

 

[final_countdown12]

Unfortunately my guess is that less than 5% of the "Goodbye Threads" really converts into a real attempt.
I can see many users just creating another account after their failled attempt after the goodbye thread. Or just trying another time or just trying recovery and leaving SaSu.
CTB in not easy .

 

[goodoldnoname923]

what do you think does it take to be fully ready?
I'm trying to prepare my heart too

I genuinely don't know i wish i did because I'm in agonising pain every fucking day

 

[chestnut]

The pressure to do it fluctuates, SI, failed attempts, there could be many reasons.

Idk if I'd make a GT yet. I see it as a form of closure for some. Like saying: Hey, I was here. Might never log on again, if succesful. Thank you for everything.

 

[dkrw]

I genuinely don't know i wish i did because I'm in agonising pain every fucking day

me too
I read many of your posts
and feel many similar feelings to you

every waking moment is really hard
and I honestly do not know how to continue
all I know is that I don't want to continue anymore

I still haven't found the right moment to do it but that's just a matter of time anyways— hopefully, I'll have the courage too when that moment comes

 

[Optimu$]

The best thing to do with GBT is to actually schedule it for a few days after you've actually died and if you do come back within that time then make sure you go to the top of your scheduled thread and unscheduled it, DON'T DELETE IT because if you do then you can just ask users like @FutureHanger @rozeske @lifewasawillowtv what happens. I remember their and other users GBT who were let down by what's probably a glitch on the site whereby they did the right thing and yet still had a false GBT posted through no fault of their own.

Some people like to do it as they're drinking SN or some other chemical or as they prepare to jump or hang. The only thing I find frustrating about people that back out is that you can find yourself feeling pretty emotional about their alleged death only to have a weird feeling when you find they're alive after all. But no shame on backing out of course.

 

[nixolab]

I tried CTB once, however I failed miserably, I wasn't afraid of dying, but I just couldn't do it due to some weird reason. I have another date planned now for my CTB, hopefully it all goes well.

 

[Euthanza]

2 friends made from SS, 1 of them met in real life, none make a goodbye thread.
Though I've seen goodbye threads on daily basis

 

[UKscotty]

Suicide is actually quite rare, only about 10 per day in the entire UK.

Most people want relief from suffering, not death. That's probably why most don't actually follow through.

 

[mrelief82]

I knew 2 ppl from here who cbt'd. None of them did a goodbye thread. What's more actually as we were in touch on everyday basis through their last days they wrote they are doing it , I woke up in the morning to those messages and they didn't do it , but then there were gone the next night …:(

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I've known of several. Back in the day when the community was much smaller there were more actual confirmation of deaths.

 

[Z-A]

Some fail, back out, or just want attention. We never know which one refers to whom.