hey everyone, i just wanted to let you know that i will be CTB tomorrow, using SN. So, i guess this is my goodbye thread. every second of my existence is genuinely so painful that I can't go on any longer, but i'm proud that i made it this far (im 21). I booked a really nice hotel for 3 days and will be using Stan's guide. I don't have meto but i have the replacement from PPH i think it starts with D i forgot what it's called, i also have Temazepam which hopefully should put me to sleep beforehand.
I love you all, i've only been here a short time but all of you have been so kind to me. Thank you for the thoughtful replies to my threads, i've read every one carefully and will be thinking of you all
I wish life was kinder to all of you and that all of you can be safe and happy.
I wrote a note for my family and friends. I didn't want to write a long note because i think that will make their grieving process harder. I'll paste it below, opinions are welcome :)
Hi everyone. I just wanted to stress that none of you could do anything to prevent this. And it certainly wasn't anyone's fault. Something you may not know, is that I always planned to do this, my first plan I made when I was 9 years old. I'm incredibly sorry to those who cared. I feel so guilty that I wasn't able to overcome my depression for you, believe me I genuinely tried it all - therapy, medication, everything. Please be there for each other, don't blame anyone and I'm so sorry if I ever caused you any pain during my life. All i ask is that you live a long and happy life for me. I love you all, including those who mistreated me. I hope you can take some comfort in knowing that i'm not longer in pain. Goodbye.
I'll update this thread when i check in, and drink the SN. If i don't come back here after drinking SN, then i've succeeded and would like to request a ban if that happens. Thank you everyone for your kindness and understanding
I love you all, i've only been here a short time but all of you have been so kind to me. Thank you for the thoughtful replies to my threads, i've read every one carefully and will be thinking of you all
I wish life was kinder to all of you and that all of you can be safe and happy. I wrote a note for my family and friends. I didn't want to write a long note because i think that will make their grieving process harder. I'll paste it below, opinions are welcome :)
Hi everyone. I just wanted to stress that none of you could do anything to prevent this. And it certainly wasn't anyone's fault. Something you may not know, is that I always planned to do this, my first plan I made when I was 9 years old. I'm incredibly sorry to those who cared. I feel so guilty that I wasn't able to overcome my depression for you, believe me I genuinely tried it all - therapy, medication, everything. Please be there for each other, don't blame anyone and I'm so sorry if I ever caused you any pain during my life. All i ask is that you live a long and happy life for me. I love you all, including those who mistreated me. I hope you can take some comfort in knowing that i'm not longer in pain. Goodbye.
I'll update this thread when i check in, and drink the SN. If i don't come back here after drinking SN, then i've succeeded and would like to request a ban if that happens. Thank you everyone for your kindness and understanding
I'll be joining you shortly
