[Goodbye] - Entering my Kingdom, Long May I Reign

[PwincessStepford]

Or not because I'm an atheist lol

Tomorrow night, I will probably be SN'ing. I've been putting it off for a week, living as a NEET, spending 24/7 on my bed and using anime as an escape. But my next semester of school commences Tuesday, so I can't hide from the world, counting the days until my death anymore.

I'm ctb'ing because of existential depression; there is no objective reason to existence. I can distract myself with subjective goals, but I was born too physically ugly (and anyone who says appearance doesn't matter in this world is lying to themselves). And because of the lack of objective meaning in existence, any attempt to fight not killing oneself seems fruitless and just a way to cope with the existential dread. I'm going to die anyway, and putting my death off any longer is futile, as any memory of what one did in his/her life will be swept away by nothingness anyway. Time is the equalizing agent for all of us.

I don't believe in afterlife, but, if there were one, I'd wish to be a princess in it, surrounded by whimsical things like unicorns and my Prince Charming. I'd get to wear pretty dresses everyday, and maybe even a sparkly tiara..I'd wish to finally be beautiful and happy. It would be magical.

Mods, please don't ban me until it's done.

 

[CynicalHopelessness]

Good luck, and have a peaceful journey

 

[BooGirl]

Good luck! Sorry to see you go, you always seemed pretty cool.

 

[AlreadyGone]

I hope you find peace

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

Wishing you a peaceful journey. I love your vision of the afterlife! It sounds like perfection.

 

[R_N]

I am sorry you are suffering because of the way you look. While I agree that it is important, you can still enjoy your hobbies. I spent at least half of my life being alone and enjoying myself. I would continue if psych meds didn't destroyed me. So if you are healthy you can still reconsider your decision but whatever you choose to do, it is your decision to make. I wish you all the best and that you find peace either way. Take care.

 

[Defenestrator]

Whatever you choose to do I wish you luck and peace. x

 

[charlottewilts]

i'm very sorry to hear this. i feel the same regarding existence... if a car could hit me tomorrow, why bother today? life is, more likely than not, just going to be toiling under the sun until i die. once you come to the conclusion that there is no objective meaning, it's hard to continue living normally. so, i hear you, sister. again, i'm sorry it turned out this way for you and i wish you luck and peace.

and if there is an afterlife i hope we can both have our kingdoms. i wish i'll be able to come visit soon

 

[DoNotLet2]

Rest in peace, princess.
I mean what would make life reasonable? That question bothers me.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Please go peacefully. I wish you all the love in the world

 

[lymbo]

what caused your existential depression ?

 

[BooGirl]

i'm very sorry to hear this. i feel the same regarding existence... if a car could hit me tomorrow, why bother today? life is, more likely than not, just going to be toiling under the sun until i die. once you come to the conclusion that there is no objective meaning, it's hard to continue living normally. so, i hear you, sister. again, i'm sorry it turned out this way for you and i wish you luck and peace.

and if there is an afterlife i hope we can both have our kingdoms. i wish i'll be able to come visit soon

I actually associate you two, for some reason haha

 

[Shivani]

I wish you strength and hope you find your peace. I truly wish and hope you achieve your vision of afterlife...

 

[Jean4]

I am going to miss you around here. We will be with you should you want us to be. You will not be alone. Sending you love and peace.

 

[Elekrel]

hey, i wish you the best of luck with your adventure.

remembering that you used to enjoy your hobbies, and hanging out with friends and not dread leaving bed, everyday somehow makes it feel worse for me. I still sometimes get forced to participate in my old hobbies, or run into my old friends but I'm just going through the motions at this point and it shows. Unfortunately, I probably can't help you because I'm facing the exact same problems and I'm just as lost. But just wanna say we're in the same boat you and I. however, be safe. take care buddy.

 

[PwincessStepford]

Thank you all for your words. I will be responding to some of you when I can. I just took my first dose of meto

 

[Girobatol]

As you wish, princess. May the force be with you, beautiful.

 

[Jean4]

We are with you sending you lots of love... and remember. You don't have to go through with this. It's ok. :)

 

[Meretlein]

Smooth sailing. I hope you find the peace you deserve.

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

I hope you find the peace you deserve..sending you love and hugs

 

[justwantdeath]

Though you're an atheist, I still pray for you to enter Christ's Kingdom.

 

[Carina]

I hope you find peace, or at very least, that you leave peacefully if that's what you do choose to do.

 

[Emily123]

Good luck my darling .

 

[Naysha]

Or not because I'm an atheist lol

Tomorrow night, I will probably be SN'ing. I've been putting it off for a week, living as a NEET, spending 24/7 on my bed and using anime as an escape. But my next semester of school commences Tuesday, so I can't hide from the world, counting the days until my death anymore.

I'm ctb'ing because of existential depression; there is no objective reason to existence. I can distract myself with subjective goals, but I was born too physically ugly (and anyone who says appearance doesn't matter in this world is lying to themselves). And because of the lack of objective meaning in existence, any attempt to fight not killing oneself seems fruitless and just a way to cope with the existential dread. I'm going to die anyway, and putting my death off any longer is futile, as any memory of what one did in his/her life will be swept away by nothingness anyway. Time is the equalizing agent for all of us.

I don't believe in afterlife, but, if there were one, I'd wish to be a princess in it, surrounded by whimsical things like unicorns and my Prince Charming. I'd get to wear pretty dresses everyday, and maybe even a sparkly tiara..I'd wish to finally be beautiful and happy. It would be magical.

Mods, please don't ban me until it's done.

I wish you peace however no, appearance doesn't matter. I was born you could say pretty, but since I was too weird personality wise I was bullied which resulted into me being NEET too. Yeah I suppose people didn't bully me because of how i look but it wasn't pleasant dealing with their abuse and their desire to f**k me at the same time. Just putting it out there since I am sort of tired when people keep putting appearance on pedestal. I can relate with the existential depression though, had it ever since I was kid.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I can't wish you but the best in whatever you choose. May you find peace.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

Sending love and comfort to you during your journey. I hope you have a peaceful trip.

I am not religious, myself, but still hope there is some sort of afterlife to indulge in when we leave this world. I would like to once again be with my pets, friends and family who died.

Lots of love x

 

[enjoy]

peace to you. i'm sorry it came to this.

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I wish for you tranquility in whatever you decide.

 

[Chronicillness]

I wish you peace however no, appearance doesn't matter. I was born you could say pretty, but since I was too weird personality wise I was bullied which resulted into me being NEET too. Yeah I suppose people didn't bully me because of how i look but it wasn't pleasant dealing with their abuse and their desire to f**k me at the same time. Just putting it out there since I am sort of tired when people keep putting appearance on pedestal. I can relate with the existential depression though, had it ever since I was kid.

Sorry, but appearance does matter, it matters a lot. It matters more now today, than it ever did before. No one puts beautiful people on a pedestal willfully, it's a subconsicous drive to put them on a pedestal (for most people). The people who are being discriminatory and prejudiced towards unattractive people don't even know they're being that way. Being beautiful is a massively underrated privilege, it doesn't devalue your suffering, but it is better to be attractive than to be unattractive or average.



To the OP: I wish you peace.

 

[PwincessStepford]

Sorry, but appearance does matter, it matters a lot. It matters more now today, than it ever did before. No one puts beautiful people on a pedestal willfully, it's a subconsicous drive to put them on a pedestal (for most people). The people who are being discriminatory and prejudiced towards unattractive people don't even know they're being that way. Being beautiful is a massively underrated privilege, it doesn't devalue your suffering, but it is better to be attractive than to be unattractive or average.



To the OP: I wish you peace.

Honestly, I would be fine with my looks if I were even average. But I'm not. Thank you for understanding. *Hugs*

My appearance isn't the reason for my suicide, but it's the subjective reason I don't want to live.

Thank you for your words