Venting Going through life is so tiring....

[MiMif]

Honestly it feels like climbing up a cliff with a rope and no harness...like some sort of endurance run...I'm not sure how much longer I can do this I kept trying to get better but the thoughts keep coming back worse and worse. I have sh scars all over my body I can't escape this feeling no matter what. I wanna die but at the same time I have hope it'll get better...I'm not sure how much longer I can wait for tht though. I'm so lonely it's unbearable I legit have no one in my life....I lost all my friends and it's honestly my fault. My parents hate me and I have a strained relationship with my family. I guess I have my siblings but I can't talk about my personal feelings with them cause they'll just bring up God and call me spoiled. I'm so alone and tired and I don't know how I can keep going. Currently working three jobs on top of studying for school...I'm hoping things will get better if I get away from everything...I plan on moving across the country to where I know no one and no one knows me but for tht I need money so I'm working....but still apart of me doubts even doing that will make me no longer feel suicidal. Everything has changed since my last suicide attempt....the police got involved and my parents grew even more hatred for me...I troubled my friends.

I'm just yapping it's 5 am and I have work in 4 hours I haven't slept yet I just feel awful

 

[anonymous568]

I can relate with the hoping it gets better and it gets tiring I just feel at this point it's so much false hope. I've just accepted it really . My family aren't helpful either and are obsessed with god and claim that's the answer to everything . I was also thinking of moving away but then I realised wherever I am I'm still depressed . It's long and frustrating being here and i agree so you're not alone and people that aren't depressed like family members will never really understand i think ive just accepted that