ηηη
Member
- Aug 20, 2026
- 15
I'd like to log my thoughts and feeling in a more public manner. Maybe try and use this as motivation.
Sometime a few days ago, I went from probably borderline manic to neutral, very suddenly. It's carried on for about four or so days. I don't really feel much of anything suddenly. Everything I'm feel, internally just feels apathetic. It's better than needing to drop what I'm doing, to sob but this is a first for me, for sure.
I don't feel over the moon or like I could do anything, just. Incredibly numb. Time keeps getting away from me and find myself suddenly plunged into night. I'm tired, but for the most part okay with this.
I find myself wanting to go back to college. I want to resume my language studies, but I'm just here, I guess.
I'd like to dream, that one day. I'll have the mental bandwidth and the money to back to college or maybe get a student visa in a foreign country. IDK.
****
In the meantime I think I'm going to maybe look at how religions view suicide, more morbid curiosity than anything. I'll post my findings here if I ever gather enough info.
Sometime a few days ago, I went from probably borderline manic to neutral, very suddenly. It's carried on for about four or so days. I don't really feel much of anything suddenly. Everything I'm feel, internally just feels apathetic. It's better than needing to drop what I'm doing, to sob but this is a first for me, for sure.
I don't feel over the moon or like I could do anything, just. Incredibly numb. Time keeps getting away from me and find myself suddenly plunged into night. I'm tired, but for the most part okay with this.
I find myself wanting to go back to college. I want to resume my language studies, but I'm just here, I guess.
I'd like to dream, that one day. I'll have the mental bandwidth and the money to back to college or maybe get a student visa in a foreign country. IDK.
****
In the meantime I think I'm going to maybe look at how religions view suicide, more morbid curiosity than anything. I'll post my findings here if I ever gather enough info.
