• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
Playingwiththedead

Playingwiththedead

Lilah
Jun 8, 2025
60
I really wanted to be with my husband - i was going to do it, got everything ready, i was going to cover my tongue with my fingers as to not taste the SN too much. I tested to see how far the fingers could go without me wanting to throw up, well my fingers had sn on them, although whatever amount it was it wasnt visible or i wouldnt have done that, but they tasted like salt. I did it maybe 2 or 3 times without realizing until the last what i had done. I didnt even drink the actual drink, just from what was on my fingers i am now experiencing symptoms. The first one that came was a strong tightness in my stomach, then i started to feel slower mentally and physically weak, not nauseous though.

I dont know what to do, if i should go all in or go to a hospital. If i call 911 its likely parametics will come in my house and take my SN which is more hard to come by now than when i bought it. I will wait it out, although im sure thats not good advice.

I just hope this wont be a slow death if i do die, and i really hope i dont live to have brain damage
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
  • Wow
Reactions: Carrot, oilsaniok and Le temps perdu
nayomi

nayomi

only the truth will save us all
Jul 19, 2026
223
you can hide it outside of your home and then call them
 
  • Like
Reactions: komakun, Serena 2026, pk@2001 and 1 other person
Playingwiththedead

Playingwiththedead

Lilah
Jun 8, 2025
60
you can hide it outside of your home and then call them
My mom will see it. She is horribly vigilant and watches any time i leave the house. I dont think i can even up and walk out there in this state. Even my hands feel harder to move across my phone keyboard
 
E

Estrella87

Student
Jul 27, 2026
126
It's not the first time I see a thread about this. The problem with SN is it's or you drink all, or nothing.

Drinking just a little bit can give anything from few symptoms then feel good again to slow agony death or life sequels.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Serena 2026 and pk@2001
H

hdead

Mage
Jun 2, 2026
586
Tough call really. I don't think a residue on your fingers would be enough to kill you but I don't have the knowledge to realistically tell you what could happen if you waited it out. I honestly don't think you'll die from it, but I can't speak on the aftermath.

Take heed and be cleanly. This kind of stuff sucks when it happens. You have to be careful with these substances!

I would suggest, the way that you're feeling and if you're not ready to go all in, to seek medical attention.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Serena 2026, pthnrdnojvsc and Playingwiththedead
Playingwiththedead

Playingwiththedead

Lilah
Jun 8, 2025
60
It's not the first time I see a thread about this. The problem with SN is it's or you drink all, or nothing.

Drinking just a little bit can give anything from few symptoms then feel good again to slow agony death or life sequels.
Please tell me this wont feel any worse than the weakness, god.
 
  • Love
Reactions: Estrella87
E

Estrella87

Student
Jul 27, 2026
126
If it's just weakness it will likely disappear. If you start to see blue nails, you should take a quick decision
 
  • Like
Reactions: komakun, Serena 2026 and Playingwiththedead
nayomi

nayomi

only the truth will save us all
Jul 19, 2026
223
My mom will see it. She is horribly vigilant and watches any time i leave the house. I dont think i can even up and walk out there in this state. Even my hands feel harder to move across my phone keyboard
i am not sure if something will happends to you or it is just temporary symptoms.
i would go for safe option tho
 
O

oilsaniok

Member
May 19, 2026
54
if u are not ready call 911, not worth taking a risk
 
  • Like
Reactions: Serena 2026
Playingwiththedead

Playingwiththedead

Lilah
Jun 8, 2025
60
if u are not ready call 911, not worth taking a risk
Im ready, but i dont think that was enough to kill me. I still feel weak and dumb though. I called out to my hubby and felt him, it was nothing but love, i miss him
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Serena 2026 and Estrella87
unluckysadness

unluckysadness

Enlightened
Jul 9, 2025
1,570
You don't deserve to suffer like this. Why must life be so cruel and painful ?? It just makes me cry .
Please keep us updated if you can. I hope you'll find relief whatever happens.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Serena 2026, Star67 and pokehita_uwu
Playingwiththedead

Playingwiththedead

Lilah
Jun 8, 2025
60
You don't deserve to suffer like this. Why must life be so cruel and painful ?? It just makes me cry .
Please keep us updated if you can. I hope you'll find relief whatever happens.
Well, now its been an hour and i dont feel any symptoms anymore, but i am absolutely ready to go. I swear i felt my husband when i started talking to him, but right after i felt him the symptoms went away and my mind came back with all the anxiety i have while fully conscious. My mom will be up in an hour and she keeps an eye on my adult self like im 5 years old so im going to have to wait until tonight to finish what i started, when i know ill have several hours without her in the picture.
 
  • Love
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: DTWAFavor, Serena 2026, Estrella87 and 1 other person
E

Estrella87

Student
Jul 27, 2026
126
At least the symptoms disappeared, it's reassuring.
For the rest, please think well before doing anything as it's not a reversible decision, but you know it ofc...

If you need to talk don't hesitate to pm.

Be strong ❤️
 
  • Like
Reactions: Serena 2026

Similar threads

Playingwiththedead
Replies
77
Views
4K
Suicide Discussion
Playingwiththedead
Playingwiththedead
I
Replies
35
Views
2K
Suicide Discussion
DeathSweetDeath
D
T
Replies
13
Views
822
Suicide Discussion
coralreefer
coralreefer
h4ppyhypoxia
Replies
5
Views
290
Suicide Discussion
ctb_warrior
ctb_warrior