Venting General thread for my vents about wanting to die

[FuneralCry]

Feels like I've suffered for so long.
It truly does feel like I've suffered for so long in this existence I never would had wished for and I'd just never wish for the suffering and cruelty of this futile and torturous existence, I just wish that more than anything I was never burdened with this existence but of course the suffering just continues and it feels like I've suffered for so long, I'd just never wish for this existence I always saw as the most terrible mistake rather I only hope for peace and I'll just only be at peace once I'm no longer burdened with this existence.

To me existence really is the problem and I suffer just from being burdened with this existence where I'm just hoping and waiting to not exist and to me existing really is just waiting to not exist, it's just futile unnecessary suffering there was never a need for and I suffer simply from existing, it's suffering only non-existence can take away for me and bring me relief from, I'm just always so tired of suffering and I'd just never wish for the suffering of this painful, dreadful and torturous existence rather all I want is to not exist. For me non-existence truly is the only peace and relief and is all I hope for, I just want all to be gone and forgotten for me and I'd just personally prefer to prevent suffering through ceasing to exist than prolong it just to suffer way more unbearably and there's just so much suffering and so much cruelty in existing, it's all just so dreadful to me and I wish I never had to suffer more than anything, I'd never wish for any of this rather all I want is to not exist.

 

[FuneralCry]

There's just so much suffering and cruelty in existing.
There truly is so much suffering and cruelty in existing and I'd just never wish for any of this rather I only want to not exist, for me non-existence really is the only peace and relief and is all I hope for. I wish for no more suffering and I suffer simply from being burdened with this existence where there's all this cruelty and suffering, for me existence really is the problem and it's one only non-existence can solve and take away for me, I just wish to never suffer in this torturous, painful existence ever again.

I find it an abomination to be burdened with this existence capable of suffering to unlimited extents destined to decay and die anyway and I'll always just see existing as being only suffering with no limit as to how much agony one can feel and the suffering of existing is endless, it's all just so cruel and dreadful to me and I'd never wish for any of this rather I only hope for the peace of non-existence. Only non existence can bring me the peace I search for from this existence where there's all this cruelty and suffering and I'll just always see existing as being only suffering with no limit as to how unbearable it can all get, more than anything I just wish I was never forced to suffer, I just never should had been burdened with this existence but of course all the pain and suffering just continues and it's all just so dreadful to me, I really would never wish for any of this rather all I hope for is non-existence, I just want to never suffer ever again, I'd just never wish for any of this.

 

[FuneralCry]

Always seeing existing as just being suffering.
I really will always just see existing as only being suffering and it's suffering so cruel and torturous, there's just so much suffering and so much cruelty in existing and it's all so dreadful to me, I'd just never wish for any of this rather all I want is to never wake ever again, only non-existence could bring me the peace I search for from this existence that to me is only suffering and I suffer simply from existing.

I always hope and wish for non-existence and it's all I could ever wish for, I just want to never wake again with no more pain and no more suffering and I'll always see existing as just being suffering with no limit as to how unbearable it can all get and to never wake ever again really is all I've hoped for. I find it an abomination to be conscious burdened with this existence capable of suffering to unlimited extents destined to decay and die anyway and the suffering and cruelty of existing is endless, I really would never wish for any of this rather I only hope to not exist, it's just so dreadful to me how existence causes all this suffering all for the sake of it and problems there were never a need for with no limit as to how much one can be tortured. I wish I never suffered more than anything, nothing would ever make me wish for the suffering of existing and I'll always see existing as being only suffering no matter what, I suffer simply from existing and what is so terrifying to me is how a human can suffer for so long with no limit as to how much one can be tortured, I'd just never wish to suffer in this existence.

 

[FuneralCry]

I see so much cruelty in how I cannot just have a death like never waking ever again.
No matter what I'll always see so much cruelty in how I cannot just have a death like never waking ever again to escape from and prevent suffering and I'd just always prefer to not exist than suffer in this futile, torturous existence. I always suffer from how I cannot just have a death like falling asleep permanently to escape from this existence that just caused and brought so much pain and I'll just always find it so painful to exist, it's pain only the peace of non-existence could ever take away for me and bring me relief from as after all if I'm gone I cannot suffer, there is no suffering in the peace of an eternal dreamless sleep.

I'd just never wish for the cruelty and suffering of existing rather all I want is to not exist, I wish for no more pain and no more suffering and I suffer simply from existing, it's suffering only non-existence can take away for me and all I want is for all to be gone and forgotten for me in non-existence. I'll just always see existing as being only suffering with no limit as to how unbearable it can all get and I suffer just from existing, it's all so terrible to me how there's all this suffering in existing with no limit as to how torturous and painful it can all get and I always wish to just never wake ever again, only non-existence can take away and solve what I personally see as the true problem which is existence itself and I'd just never wish for any of this no matter what.

 

[FuneralCry]

Always having so much dread for what lies ahead.
As long as I exist I really will always have so much dread for what lies ahead, I'll just always find it so dreadful to suffer in this torturous, futile existence I personally always saw as a mistake and I'll just always see existence as the problem.

To me it's just always so dreadful to be conscious in this existence capable of suffering to unlimited extents and I just wish I never had to suffer more than anything as it would had saved me from so much suffering in this dreadful existence where I just hope and wait to not exist anyway, I find it so terrifying how a human can suffer for so long with no limit as to how much agony they can feel and I'd just never wish for the torture and suffering of existing rather I just want to not exist, I just want to never suffer ever again, for me the only peace truly could only lie in non-existence where there is no more cruelty and no more suffering with all finally gone. For me non-existence really is the only relief in this existence so cruel and torturous that I just never would had chosen and would never wish for and I'd just always prefer to not exist than suffer in this existence, I just hope and wish to never exist ever again but of course all the suffering just continues and I'm always so tired of it all. I'd just never wish for this dreadful existence of unnecessary suffering rather all I hope for is non-existence, I just want all to be forgotten for me, in this torturous, futile existence the peace of an eternal dreamless sleep really is all I could see as desirable.

 

[FuneralCry]

Always preferring to not exist.
No matter what I truly would always prefer to not exist than suffer, I'd just never wish for the suffering and cruelty of existing rather all I want is to never wake ever again, in this existence so cruel and torturous the peace of an eternal dreamless sleep would solve everything for me and bring me the relief I search for from this existence where I'm just hoping and waiting for death anyway and for me non-existence really is all that's desirable, I just wish for no more pain and no more suffering rather I just want all to be forgotten for me, I just find it so deeply undesirable to exist and I'd never wish for any of this no matter what.

For me the only peace could ever lie in eternal sleep where all is gone and nothing can concern me and to never suffer ever again really is all I see as desirable, I just wish for no more cruelty and no more suffering rather I just want all to be forgotten for me, for me non-existence really is all I see as desirable and I'd just always prefer to not exist, to suffer in this existence is just always so painful and dreadful to me and I'd just never wish for the pain of existing rather I just want to not exist. I just want to never exist ever again but of course all the suffering just continues and it's all so terrible to me, for me existence really is the problem which is why I'll only hope and wish for death no matter what, I just find it so torturous to exist and I'd never wish for the suffering and torture of existing.

 

[FuneralCry]

Non-existence is the only peace for me.
It truly is the only peace for me in this existence so cruel and torturous as after all if I'm gone I cannot suffer in any way, all I wish is to be permanently unconscious with all finally forgotten for me but of course all the suffering of existing just continues and it's all so dreadful and terrible to me.

I'd just always prefer to not exist than suffer and as long as I exist I really will just hope to sleep permanently, I just wish for no more suffering, I just want all to be gone for me and I'd never wish for any of this rather I only hope for non-existence, I just hope for the peace of an eternal sleep where nothing can concern me and as long as I exist I'll just wish to never wake ever again. For me non-existence truly is the only relief and is all I'll hope for, I'd just never wish for this existence I always saw as the most cruel, terrible tragic mistake rather all I want is to not exist, I'll just always find it so undesirable to suffer in this existence and it's suffering only non-existence can take away for me and bring me relief from. I just want all to be forgotten for me and I always suffer from how I cannot just have a death like never waking ever again to finally escape from the cruelty and suffering of existing and I personally suffer simply from existing, it's suffering only non-existence can bring me peace from and I'd never wish to suffer at all, I only hope for non-existence instead, I just wish and hope to never wake again.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existence to me was never a desirable state.
It truly was never a desirable state to me and I'd just never wish for the suffering of existing rather I only wish to not exist, the fact that existence is so undesirable just makes me wish for eternal nothingness even more, I just wish for an eternal dreamless sleep free from all cruelty and suffering where all is finally forgotten and there is no more pain.

I'll just always find it so painful to suffer so unnecessarily in this torturous existence I always saw as the most terrible dreadful mistake and there's just so much suffering in existing, I personally suffer just from being conscious in this existence where I'm just hoping and waiting to not exist and I'll always see existing as just waiting for death, it's just suffering all for the sake of it that there was never a need for and I just wish I never suffered more than anything. I just never should had been forced to suffer in this existence where there's all this cruelty and suffering until non-existence takes away all anyway and I'll always see existing as just being only suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured. For me non-existence really is the only peace and is all that's desirable for me, I wish for no more suffering and I'll always see existence as only suffering, for me existence itself really is the true problem and I'll only hope for permanent relief from it, simply just existing is enough to make me wish for non-existence and I'll only hope to not exist no matter what, non-existence really is the only peace and relief for me.

 

[FuneralCry]

Just wanting to never suffer ever again.
No matter what all I could hope and wish for is to never suffer ever again, I wish for no more suffering rather I just want all to be gone and forgotten for me in non-existence, in this existence so cruel and torturous the only peace and relief for me could ever lie in eternal sleep.

I just want to never suffer ever again and I always suffer from how I cannot just have a death like falling asleep permanently as all I wish and hope for is non-existence, I just wish to be free from this unnecessary deeply undesirable existence I always saw as the most terrible, harmful mistake and there's just so much suffering and so much cruelty in existing, I wish I could just choose for all to be gone for me and as long as I exist I'll only hope to fall asleep permanently, I'd just never wish for this existence that just causes so much suffering all for the sake of it and pain and problems there were never a need for. I'll just always find it so painful to exist, it's pain only an eternal sleep can take away for me and bring me relief from as after all if I'm gone I cannot suffer, there is no suffering in non-existence where all is finally forgotten about and for me permanent non-existence really is the only peace and relief, I just wish for no more cruelty and no more suffering and I suffer simply from existing, it's suffering only non-existence can take away for me and bring me relief from, I just want to never wake ever again, for me non-existence really is all that's positive.

 

[FuneralCry]

Always finding it an abomination to exist.
No matter what I really will always find it an abomination to exist and I'd just never wish for the suffering and cruelty of existing rather I just want to not exist, for me non-existence really is the only peace and is all that's desirable in this existence where there's all this suffering all for the sake of it with no limit as to how much agony one can feel.

I'd just always prefer to not exist than suffer so unnecessarily just hoping and waiting to not exist anyway and I'll always see existing as just waiting to die, it's just cruelty and suffering all for the sake of it, I see it as an abomination to be burdened with this existence and I'll always see it as a burden to exist, it's a burden so dreadful and torturous that just causes so much suffering, cruelty and harm until all is gone and forgotten in non-existence anyway and to me non-existence really is the only peace and relief. It's just all I could ever hope and wish for, I'm just always so tired of suffering in this existence I always saw as the most terrible tragic mistake and it's tiredness only permanent non-existence could ever take away for me, I find it an abomination to exist and it's an abomination only ceasing to exist can bring me peace from as after all if I'm gone I cannot suffer and to cease existing and never exist ever again truly is all I could hope and wish for, I just want all to be gone for me, I wish to never exist again.

 

[FuneralCry]

The only relief for me could lie in never suffering ever again.
For me the only relief could lie in never suffering ever again, I wish for no more pain and no more suffering rather I just want all to be gone for me in non-existence, I'd just never wish for this existence I always saw as the most cruel, terrible mistake and there's just so much cruelty in existing, it's all just so terrible to me.

I'd never wish for any of this rather all I want is to not exist, I'd just never wish for this torturous, futile existence that just causes and brings so much suffering all for the sake of it with no limit as to how much one can be tortured and the suffering and torture of existing is endless, it's all just so dreadful to me and I'd never wish to suffer rather I just hope for non-existence, the only relief for me really could only lie in eternal sleep and I personally suffer simply from existing. I really would never wish to suffer at all rather I just wish for non-existence, I just wish for an eternal sleep free from all cruelty and suffering where all is finally forgotten and there is no more suffering and I suffer simply from existing, it's suffering only eternal sleep could ever take away for me as after all if I'm gone I cannot suffer and nothing in this existence can concern me, for me non-existence really is all that's positive and desirable, it's all I hope for, I'd just never wish to suffer in this futile existence I just never would had chosen and I find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence was imposed.

 

[FuneralCry]

For me non-existence really is all that's positive.
It really is all that's positive for me and is all I could hope for, I just wish for no more cruelty and no more suffering rather I just want all to be forgotten for me in non-existence. Only eternal sleep could ever bring me the relief I search for from the cruelty and torture of existing and I'll just always find it so torturous to be burdened with this existence suffering so unnecessarily, for me non-existence truly is all that's positive but I just wish I never suffered more than anything, this existence of suffering all for the sake of it just never should had been imposed.

I'll just always see existence as an imposition that just causes harm and suffering until non-existence takes away all anyway and for me non-existence would solve everything as after all if I don't exist I cannot suffer, there is no suffering in an eternal sleep where all is finally gone and I can rest, I really would just never wish for this cruel, painful existence rather I just hope for non-existence. For me non-existence would solve everything and bring me so much peace from suffering but of course all the suffering of existing just continues and it's all so terrible to me. I just never should had been burdened with this existence and I always suffer from how I cannot just have a death like never waking ever again so finally I can be at peace and the peace of non-existence truly is all I see as desirable, for me non-existence really is the only relief and is all I could hope for, I wish for no more pain.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existence to me is always just an unnecessary harm.
No matter what I'll always just see existence itself as always being an unnecessary harm and I'd just never wish to suffer in this torturous, harmful existence rather I just want to never wake ever again. I'll always see existence as an abomination that just causes harm and suffering until all is gone in non-existence anyway and for me permanent non-existence truly is the only peace and relief, the peace of non-existence would solve everything for me in this existence where I'm just hoping and waiting to not exist and I'd just always prefer to not exist than suffer.

For me non-existence truly is the only peace and is just all I see as desirable, this existence always feels like a mistake to me and I'll always see it as so harmful to be burdened with this existence capable of suffering to unlimited extents destined to decay and die anyway and I'll always see existing as just waiting for death, it's just cruelty and suffering all for the sake of it and I just always find it so harmful to exist, I'd just never wish for this cruel, harmful existence of unnecessary suffering rather all I want is to not exist. I just wish for peace from all the suffering and I see it as the most terrible harmful tragedy how this existence was even imposed, for me non-existence truly is the only peace and is all I could see as desirable, I'll always find it so deeply undesirable to be burdened with this harmful existence of unnecessary suffering, I truly would never wish for the suffering of existing rather I just want to not exist.

 

[FuneralCry]

Only hoping to not exist.
No matter what non-existence really is all I could hope and wish for, I just wish for an eternal sleep free from all cruelty and suffering where this tortuous existence is finally all forgotten.

I'd just always prefer to not exist than suffer and to me existing really is just only suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured, it's all just so terrible and dreadful to me and I'd never wish for any of this rather I only hope for non-existence, for me non-existence truly is the only peace and relief and is all I see as desirable where there's all this cruelty and suffering all for the sake of it and I personally suffer just from existing, it'ssuffering only eternal dreamless sleep could ever take away for me and bring me relief from as after all if I'm gone I cannot suffer. For me non-existence really is the only peace and is all I'll wish for, all I want is to never exist ever again but of course all the cruelty and suffering of this torturous existence just continues and it's all so terrible to me, I always suffer so much from how peaceful death is so harmfully denied for me with the suffering, torture and cruelty of existing seen as to force and prolong no matter what as I'd just always prefer to not exist than suffer so unnecessarily in this existence I just never would had chosen and would never wish for, I just wish I never had to suffer in this existence at all and I'd just never wish for the suffering of existing rather all I want is to not exist, I wish for no more suffering.

 

[Poiter1987]

Hey funeral cry, it seems like you've been here a while. May I ask what's holding you back from killing yourself?

Even though i want to die. I'm terrified. So I get it. But just curious what keeps you around?

 

[FuneralCry]

Always finding it painful to exist.
No matter what I'll just always find it so painful to exist and I wish I never had to suffer more than anything, I'd just never wish for the suffering and cruelty of this torturous existence rather all I wish and hope for is nothingness, I just wish for an eternal dreamless sleep where all is finally forgotten and I can be at peace but of course all the suffering just continues and I'm just so tired of being conscious in this existence, I'd just never wish for the suffering and cruelty of existing rather all I hope for is to not exist.

I just want the peace of non-existence to solve everything for me and finally bring me relief from this cruel, painful existence I just never would had wished for and never would had chosen and I'd never wish for any of this rather I just want to not exist, for me non-existence really is all I see as desirable, it's the only peace for me in this existence where there's all this suffering all for the sake of it and I'll just always find it so torturous to exist. For me existence really is the problem and it's one only non-existence can solve and take away for me, I just wish for no more pain and no more suffering rather I just want to never exist ever again, for me non-existence really is the only relief and is all I see as desirable, I just wish for no more suffering and I suffer simply from existing, it's suffering only non-existence can take away for me and I'd just always prefer to not exist than suffer no matter what.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existence to me is always an abomination.
To me existence truly is an abomination that just causes endless amounts of suffering cruelty and harm until non-existence takes away all anyway and I'd just always prefer to not exist, for me non-existence really is the only relief and is all that's desirable, I wish for no more cruelty and no more suffering and I'll just always see it as so dreadful and terrible to suffer so unnecessarily in this existence I always saw as a mistake, I'll just always see existence as the problem and it's one only non-existence can solve and bring me relief from as after all if I'm gone I cannot suffer.

There is no suffering in the peace of an eternal sleep where all is finally gone and I'd prefer to forget about this existence no matter what, I always find it so terrible to suffer in this existence and I'd never wish for any of this, for me existence really is the problem and I'd never wish for any of this rather I just hope for non-existence, only non-existence can bring me the relief I search for from the cruel, dreadful abomination of existence I always saw as the most terrible mistake and there's just so much cruelty and so much suffering in existing. I just wish I never suffered more than anything, I never should had been burdened with this tortuous existence of suffering all for the sake of it I personally always saw as a mistake, existence to me really is the problem and I'd just never wish for any of this rather all I want is to never exist again, I wish for no more cruelty and no more suffering where all is finally gone for me.

 

[FuneralCry]

Always finding it so harmful to exist.
No matter what I'll always find it so harmful to exist, I find it so harmful to suffer so unnecessarily in this cruel, torturous existence I personally always saw as a mistake and there's just so much cruelty and so much suffering in existing, it's all just so terrible and dreadful to me and I'd just never wish for any of this rather all I want is to not exist.

I just wish for the peace of an eternal sleep free from all cruelty and suffering where all is finally forgotten, I'll always see it as so dreadful and terrible to be forced to suffer so unnecessarily in this existence with no limit as to how much one can be tortured and I'll just always find it so torturous to exist, for me non-existence where all is finally forgotten really is the only relief and is all I could hope for, I just wish for an eternal dreamless sleep where all is finally forgotten.

I'd just never wish for this harmful, cruel existence of suffering all for the sake of it I just never would had chosen and more than anything I just wish I never suffered, I wish I was never burdened with this existence of suffering so unnecessarily where I just hope and wait to not exist anyway and I'll always see existing as just waiting for death, existence to me really will always be the most harmful abomination and I suffer simply from existing. It's suffering only the peace of non-existence could take away for me, I just hope and wish to never exist ever again where all is finally gone and I can be at peace from this dreadful abomination that just causes and brings so much unnecessary suffering.

 

[FuneralCry]

To be free from this torturous existence of unnecessary suffering is all I hope for.
It truly is all I could hope for and is all I could wish for, I just wish for an eternal sleep free from all cruelty and suffering where nothing can concern me and all is finally forgotten.

I'd just never wish for this cruel, torturous existence of suffering all for the sake of it I always saw as a mistake rather I only hope for the peace of non-existence, I just want to fall asleep permanently and never suffer ever again but of course all the suffering just continues and it's all so terrible and dreadful to me, only non-existence can solve and take away what I personally see as the true problem which is existence itself as after all if I'm gone I cannot suffer. There is no suffering in an eternal sleep where nothing can concern me and finally I can be at peace and as long as I exist I'll only wish for some peace, I'd just never wish for the suffering, cruelty and torture of existing rather I just want all to be gone for me. I wish for no more suffering and I'd personally always prefer to prevent suffering through ceasing to exist than prolong it just to suffer way more and I'll just always see existing as being only suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured, it's all just so terrible to me and I'll just always see existence as a terrible, cruel mistake, it's one only eternal sleep can bring me relief from as after all if I'm gone I cannot suffer, there is no suffering in eternal non-existence.

 

[FuneralCry]

Non-existence is the only peace for me.
It truly is the only peace for me and is all I could hope for, I wish for no more cruelty and no more suffering rather I just want all to be forgotten for me in non-existence, I'll just always find it so painful to exist and it's pain only the peace of non-existence could ever take away for me.

I just wish for no more pain and no more suffering but of course I continue to be trapped in this existence I always saw as the most terrible mistake and there's just so much suffering in existing, I personally suffer simply from existing and I'd never wish for any of this rather all I want is to not exist, for me non-existence really is the only relief and is all I see as desirable, I'm just always so tired of being burdened with this existence suffering so unnecessarily just hoping for the peace of an eternal sleep and I'll just only be at peace once I no longer suffer so unnecessarily in this torturous existence I never would wish for. I just wish I never suffered more than anything, I never should had been burdened with this cruel, painful existence of suffering all for the sake of it that I never would had chosen, I'll just always see existence as an unnecessary harm no matter what and I find it so harmful to suffer so unnecessarily in this futile, cruel existence I just never would wish for, for me existence really is the problem which is why I only hope for the peace of non-existence where all is finally gone with no more cruelty and no more suffering.

 

[FuneralCry]

To exist is always so dreadful to me.
No matter what I really will always find it so dreadful to suffer in this cruel, torturous existence and I suffer simply from existing, it's suffering only the peace of eternal sleep can take away for me, I just find it so dreadful to be conscious burdened with this existence capable of suffering to unlimited extents.

I'll always see existing as only suffering no matter what with no limit as to how much one can be tortured and the suffering and cruelty of existing is endless, it's all just so terrible to me and I just wish I never suffered more than anything, nothing would ever make me wish for the suffering and cruelty of this futile, torturous existence I always saw as the most terrible mistake and I just find it so dreadful to exist. As long as I exist I really will always have so much dread for what lies ahead, and in this existence where there's all this cruelty and suffering non-existence truly is the only peace for me and is all I see as desirable, I just wish for no more pain and no more suffering. I just want all to be finally gone for me but of course all the suffering just continues and it's all so terrible to me, I'll just always see existence as an unnecessary harm no matter what that to me is only suffering and I suffer simply from existing, it's suffering only non-existence could ever take away for me as after all if I'm gone I cannot suffer, there is no suffering in eternal sleep where finally this cruel existence is all forgotten and no longer my problem.

 

[FuneralCry]

To exist means to suffer.
No matter what I'll always see existing as only being suffering with no limit as to how much agony one can feel, to exist means to suffer and I wish I never suffered at all in this torturous, futile existence more than anything. To me existence really does feel like the most terrible mistake and I'll always see it as so dreadful to be conscious in this cruel existence suffering all for the sake of it and to me existing really is just only suffering with no limit as to how unbearable it can all get and I just never would wish for any of this rather I wish I never suffered.

I just never should had been burdened with this existence and I'll always find it a burden to exist, it's a burden so cruel and torturous that just causes harm and suffering until all is gone and forgotten in non-existence anyway and for me non-existence really is the only relief. It's all I see as desirable and is all I could ever hope for, I wish for no more pain and no more suffering and I suffer simply from existing, I'd just never wish for the suffering of existing rather I just want to not exist and non-existence is all I could hope for. I just want to forget about this futile, cruel existence of suffering for the sake of it and to me, to exist means to suffer all while risking experiencing way worse suffering and torture at any moment and the suffering of existing is endless, I'd just never wish for the pain of existing rather all I want is to not exist, I wish for no more pain and no more suffering and I always find it painful to exist.