Venting General thread for my vents about wanting to die

[FuneralCry]

Only hoping to never exist again.
No matter what all I could ever hope for is to never exist again, I wish for permanent peace and relief from all the suffering and cruelty in this terrible, torturous existence, to never exist again really is all that can bring me peace. I wish for freedom from the burden of human existence that just caused so much harm all for the sake of it, I'll always see existence itself as the most terrible, tragedy that just brings suffering all for the sake of it and I was just never meant for any of this.

I never should have suffered at all but now that I suffer so much as a result of this harmful existence all I can hope for is to never exist again, I hope for non-existence as only then will all be gone and forgotten about with this existence no longer my concern, only in non-existence will I be unable to suffer, I just wish to cease existing in peace and never think and feel ever again. I wish for peace from the pain of being conscious in this meaningless existence, I'm always so tired of suffering in this existence and it's suffering that only death can take away for me. I'll always find it deeply undesirable to exist which is why I just wish and hope to never exist again but of course the suffering just continues, it'll always feel so cruel how I cannot just have the option to fall into an eternal, dreamless sleep and never suffer ever again, non-existence is all I hope for and is all I've ever wished for, under no circumstances would I ever wish to exist. To me existence itself will always be the problem no matter what as it's the source of all suffering, I'll always see it as so terrible and dreadful to suffer in this existence I always saw as a cruel, painful mistake in the first place.

 

[FuneralCry]

Wanting to die is all I know.
For me personally wanting to die truly is all I know, I've only ever wished to be permanently free from this existence that only ever brought pain and caused so much suffering all for the sake of it, for me wanting to cease existing just feels like a response to existence itself, as to me existence itself is the true problem. I see it as such a terrible tragedy to suffer in this cruel, meaningless existence, I personally just want nothingness, I just wish for some peace and for me peace could only ever lie in never suffering again, ceasing to exist truly is always preferable for me than suffering in this existence, I just don't have any interest in the futility and cruelty of human existence, I just find it a burden to be conscious in general and it's a burden that has only ever caused me to suffer.

I've always wished for non-existence, my wish to die is a result of becoming aware and I'm just not meant to exist either and never should have suffered at all, I'll always find it so dreadful to exist and I'd always prefer to avoid existence no matter what, I'd prefer to not suffer at all than prolong the suffering in an existence where there's no limit as to how much agony one can feel just to decay and die anyway. For me ceasing to exist would be suffering prevention as after all if I don't exist I cannot suffer in any way and all is finally forgotten about for me, only ceasing to exist can solve what I ultimately see as the true problem which is existence itself and as long as I exist I'll only ever hope for the peace of death to take all the suffering away, wanting to die is all I know which is why it feels so painful to me how I cannot just have a death like never waking again to escape from an existence I'd never wish for.

 

[FuneralCry]

To exist means to suffer.
To me no matter what existing truly will always be only suffering and I suffer simply from existing, I'm always so tired of being conscious in this cruel, futile existence I never would have chose, the way I see it to exist means to suffer so unnecessarily all while risking experiencing way worse suffering as after all in this existence there is no limit as to how much one can suffer. Existing can very easily get way more torturous and unbearable causing way more agony as a result, it's so horrific to me how existence just causes and brings all this suffering all for the sake of it, I'd never wish to exist no matter what, I see nothing desirable about existing at all.

I'll always see it as a burden to suffer in this existence capable of suffering and feeling such immense agony to unlimited amounts, existence to me will always be something so terrible that just causes harm, I only wish for death as only then will I be safe from all cruelty and suffering, only death can bring me safety from all suffering as after all there cannot be any suffering in non-existence. Personally I find it horrifying how one is capable of suffering so unbearably for so long, there's no safety from suffering in existing and it's certainly a reason as to why I'd always prefer to not exist as I just wish for peace from all the suffering, I only hope to never suffer ever again, I've suffered for so long in this existence and I'm always so tired of it all. It'll always feel so cruel and horrible to me how I cannot just have the option to painlessly die in peace even know existence truly is just pointless, meaningless suffering to me and it's all just so unnecessary as well, I'd always prefer to die than suffer for the sake of it in an existence I always saw as a terrible, tragic mistake.

 

[FuneralCry]

Under no circumstances would I wish to exist.
I truly would never wish to exist under any circumstances, I have no interest in suffering in this cruel, meaningless existence rather existence is something I'd prefer to avoid no matter what, I really have only ever wished for death, only death can bring me the relief I search for, I'm always so tired of being burdened with this existence that always felt like a mistake to me. I wish to just die in peace and forget about it all, I'd never wish to be burdened with this existence but more than anything I wish I never existed at all, I truly never should have suffered in this existence and as long as I exist I'll only ever wish for non-existence, I find existing to be deeply undesirable in every single way, personally I'd always prefer to die as after all only in non-existence am I finally unable to suffer with all gone and forgotten about for me.

Existence just feels like a mistake to me, it's something so dreadful, so pointless that just causes suffering all for the sake of it, as long as I exist I'll only hope to never suffer ever again, I never wished for existence and never would do no matter what, non-existence truly is all I've ever hoped for. I see existence as something that just causes harm as well and I find it painful to simply be conscious, the true problem for me will always lie in existence itself, I'd never wish for any of this and I'll always be hoping for death as long as I exist. I'll always prefer to die than prolong suffering in this futile, torturous existence where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel just to decay and die anyway, existing is certainly not for me and I don't see value to suffering in this existence rather existence is something I'd prefer to avoid, I only wish for the peace, freedom and relief of never suffering again.

 

[FuneralCry]

Human existence just feels like a terrible mistake to me.
It truly does which is why I just hope and wish for death, human existence truly does just feel like a terrible mistake to me that just causes endless amounts of torture and agony. I wish I could just die in peace and forget about it all, no matter what existence will always be the problem to me, it's something so painful and torturous that just causes harm and what is so horrifying is how there is no limit as to how unbearable the torment of existing can get, it's all just so terrible.

I wish for non-existence as only in non-existence am I safe from all suffering and harm with this existence finally no longer my problem, I'd never wish to be conscious in this existence capable of suffering to unlimited amounts destined for nothing but to decay, be tortured by old age and die anyway rather such will always feel like a mistake to me, only death can solve what the true problem would be for me which is existence itself.
I only wish for painless death to take all the suffering away, there's just so much cruelty how I cannot just have the option to painlessly escape from the imposition of existence in peace as existence will always feel like a mistake to me no matter what and I wish this existence was never imposed more than anything.

I truly was never meant for any of this, personally I'd rather prevent suffering by ceasing to exist than prolong it just to end up way more tortured, there's so much cruelty in existing, it's all just so terrible, only death can bring me relief from this existence that just caused so much suffering all for the sake of it, I'd never wish for the harmful, torturous burden of existence, non-existence is always preferable for me.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existence is a burden.
No matter what I'll always see it as a burden to suffer in this existence and it's one so cruel and torturous that just causes endless amounts of suffering, I find it a burden to be conscious, to have to think and feel at all, I'd never wish to experience anything at all. I find existing to be completely unnecessary just causing and creating suffering all for the sake of it with no limit as to how much one can be tormented in this existence there was never a need for at all. More than anything I wish I was never burdened with this existence, I just don't see any point, value and purpose to this existence but rather I just see it as a terrible, horrific tragedy that just causes harm and brings so much pain until death takes away all anyway, what is so cruel to me is how even know this existence was imposed I cannot just have the option to permanently free myself from it and never suffer ever again, it's all just so terrible to me.

Personally I just have no interest in suffering and I'd rather prevent it all by ceasing to exist, I just wish there's acceptance towards the personal choice of not wishing to be burdened with this existence, I find it tiring and painful to simply be concious, I'm so tired of the burden of existence and as long as I exist I'll only ever hope and wish to be gone, I just want nothingness where all is finally gone for me. I'd always prefer to die as only then is the burden of existence no longer my problem but more than anything I wish I never suffered, never existing would have saved me from the torment of being burdened with this existence I always saw as a terrible tragic mistake, to me existing will always be deeply undesirable.

 

[antony]

Im reading all your rants and I feel so sorry for you. Where u from? I can pay you the trip for you going buy N.

 

[FuneralCry]

Only wishing to be free from the terrible, torturous imposition of existence.
No matter what I truly only will ever wish to be free from the imposition that is existence, I just want all to be gone for me, I wish for no more pain, no more suffering, in an existence so cruel and torturous where there is all this endless suffering all for the sake of it I'll always only hope and wish for the relief of death but of course more than anything I wish this existence was never imposed. To be conscious in this meaningless, futile existence will always be a deeply undesirable burden to me that only ever brings suffering and what is so terrible to me is how I had to suffer even know existence was completely unnecessary and there was never a need for it at all.

Never existing truly would have saved me from all this suffering in an existence that just causes pain all for the sake of it and tortures and torments existing beings until they die anyway, death truly is the only peace for me personally, I only hope and wish for the peace of never suffering again. I'll always see existence as such a painful, torturous imposition that just causes so much harm until death takes away all anyway and it'll always feel so cruel to me how I cannot just have the option to just painlessly die in peace even know this existence was imposed in the first place just causing so much suffering as a result. I never would have wished for or chosen existence and never would do under any circumstances, to be conscious capable of suffering to unlimited amounts is something I'd prefer to avoid no matter what and as long as I exist I'll only hope to be free from the imposition that is existence, to me human existence just feels like a terrible tragic mistake and it's a mistake that only death can bring me peace from.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existence just causes so much harm.
It truly does just cause so much harm, I see existence as the most cruel, harmful burden that just torments existing beings with no limit as to how much they can suffer until they die anyway, personally I'd always prefer to die than suffer in this existence, I wish for death as only then is all gone and forgotten about for me, only then will I be unable to suffer in any way, I find it so terrible how existence causes so much harm and I'd never wish to exist no matter what.

To me existence will always feel like the most terrible tragedy, I see existence as such a horrific mistake that has served no purpose and function but to cause suffering all for the sake of it and I see it as so unnecessary anyway. I personally see no value to suffering in this reality where there is all this endless cruelty, I'd always and only wish for non-existence as only then will I be permanently safe from all suffering, there's no safety from suffering in this existence that just causes an immense amount of harm, in my case non-existence has been all I've ever hoped for, only in non-existence can there be no more suffering.

I just wish to be permanently safe from suffering unable to be harmed in any way, to simply exist is so burdensome to me, personally all I hope for is to never suffer ever again, I was never meant for something as harmful as existence that just brings so much pain and causes so much suffering and it can easily get way more unbearable. The way I see it to exist means to suffer so unnecessarily all while risking experiencing way worse suffering at any moment and I just don't wish to suffer in any way, I just wish for nothingness instead, I wish for an eternal, dreamless sleep free from all pain and cruelty where I'm no longer burdened with this existence and this meaningless torturous existence I never would have wished for is finally no longer my concern.

 

[FuneralCry]

Lack of painless ways feels so cruel to me.
No matter what it'll always feel so cruel how I cannot just have the option to peacefully die, all I hope for is the peace of never suffering ever again but of course all the suffering just continues in this terrible, torturous existence I never would have chosen. Human existence really will always feel like a mistake to me and it's a mistake that just causes so much unnecessary suffering all for the sake of it just tormenting existing beings and as well as that I find it deeply undesirable to exist in general. I see nothing desirable about being conscious in this cruel, meaningless existence where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel rather I'd prefer to avoid such no matter what, I'll always find it a burden to simply exist, it's a burden having to think, feel and experience anything at all.

I personally just want nothingness and I have no interest in suffering in this existence, for me existence itself will always feel like the true problem and I see so much cruelty in how I cannot just choose to simply die in peace as I'd always prefer to not exist, only non-existence can solve everything for me. Only in non-existence will I be unable to suffer which is why it's all I wish for, it's so cruel to me how there's no acceptance towards preferring non-existence over potentially decades longer of pointless, meaningless suffering just to die in agony from old age. Existence could never be worth it for me, I'd never wish to be conscious in this existence just to risk suffering way more in an existence so cruel and futile that I was never meant for, to me existence itself is the problem and always will be and it's a problem that only ceasing to exist can bring me peace from.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing can easily get way more unbearable.
And this is certainly a reason as to why I'd always prefer to die as existing can very easily get way more unbearable and torturous causing way more suffering as a result, it's all just so cruel and terrible to me, I truly was never meant for any of this, I'd always prefer the permanency of non-existence to the cruelty and futility of suffering in this reality where chance so senselessly determines everything. Death truly would be the only peace and relief for me, I find it painful to simply exist, to me existence truly does just feel like a mistake, I just want it all to be gone for me, I'm always wishing to erase my existence like I never suffered at all.

What comforts me about death is that if I'm dead I cannot experience anything at all and I cannot suffer in any way, non-existence is all I'll ever hope for, I'd rather avoid something as horrific and harmful as existence no matter what. And there is literally no limit as to how unbearable the agony of existing can get, I just want some peace and I'll only be at peace once I'm dead, only death can bring me peace from the terrible suffering of existence, I was never meant to exist and don't belong in this reality where there's all this endless suffering, there's so much cruelty in existing. I wish I could just painlessly escape from it all in peace but of course that's not the reality which is just so dreadful, I just want to fall into an eternal, dreamless sleep and never suffer again, death is all that could ever be positive for me as after all I cannot suffer from not existing, only non-existence could ever be desirable to me, existence just causes harm and so much suffering all for the sake of it, it's all just so terrible to me.

 

[FuneralCry]

Only hoping to never suffer ever again.
No matter what as long as I exist I'll only hope to never suffer ever again, I've suffered in this cruel, meaningless existence for so long and I'm always so tired of it all, existence is just too cruel to me, I'll always find it deeply undesirable to exist in this reality where there's all this endless suffering, for me death truly would be the only peace, existence just feels like the most terrible mistake to me.

I wish I was never forced into this existence more than anything, I wish this existence was never imposed I only wish for non-existence as only then would I be permanently unable to suffer and incapable of feeling any pain. I'd always prefer to not exist no matter what as after all I cannot suffer from not existing, I just don't wish to be conscious at all, I'm so tired of being conscious and aware just waiting to die in any way in this existence that I never would have wished for.

The way I see it to exist means to suffer so unnecessarily all while risking experiencing way worse suffering and to die means to never suffer ever again, death is the only comfort for me, in an existence where there's all this cruelty all for the sake of it to die is all I've ever hoped for, dreamless eternal sleep just sounds so peaceful and I'll only be at peace once this existence is finally gone for me. I only hope to never suffer again as existence is just so dreadful and harmful, it just brings suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tormented, for me peace truly could only ever lie in non-existence, I only wish for the peace of never suffering ever again, under no circumstances would I wish to exist, I never should have been forced into this existence at all.

 

[FuneralCry]

Only hoping for death.
No matter what I'll only ever wish for death, only in death can I find peace from the cruelty and torment of existing, to me existing as a human is such a terrible, torturous burden that just causes endless amounts of cruelty and suffering, I just want to die in peace and forget about it all. I only hope for death as after all only in death will I be unable to suffer in any way, there's no limit as to how unbearable the torture and torment of existing can get, the pain of existing is very real, I just find it horrific how an existing being is capable of suffering to unlimited extents and it can easily get way more unbearable and it's all so futile anyway.

I wish for non-existence as after all there are no disadvantages to being permanently unconscious, in fact it's all I see as ideal, only to never exist again is all I hope for, what comforts me about death is that if I'm dead then I cannot suffer in any way and all is finally gone, there is no suffering in non-existence as after all without existence there cannot be any suffering, all pain and problems are ultimately as a result of existence itself and if I die it's all gone for me. For me personally peace could only ever lie in death, for me peace is never existing again, I find it such a painful, futile burden to be conscious and it's a burden I'd never wish for, to me existence just feels like a mistake and a horrific tragedy that just causes suffering all for the sake of it, for me death would be the solution, it'd solve everything for me, I only hope for death and it's all I'll ever hope for, only death can solve what I see as the true problem which is existence itself, I just want all to be finally gone for me.

 

[FuneralCry]

Always and only wish for death.
As long as I exist I truly will always and only wish for death, I only wish for death to bring me peace from an existence I never would have wished for and never would have chosen. I personally could never see existence as desirable but rather I see it as something so cruel and meaningless that just causes so much suffering all for the sake of it tormenting existing beings. But in general I just see it a burden to have to wake again and be conscious, I'm so tired of being conscious and aware and it feels like I've suffered for so long, to me existing truly is only suffering and it terrifies me how there's no limit as to how unbearable the suffering can get.

Personally I've only ever wished for death, wanting to die is all I know, for me the problem lies in existence itself which is why I only wish for death, as well as not seeing value to existing in general rather I see such as unnecessary just creating problems and pain there was never a need for I just see existence as the most terrible, horrific tragedy ultimately responsible for causing endless amounts of harm all throughout history, existence is just so terrible to me and it can easily get way more unbearable. There's just so much pointless suffering and cruelty in existing so non-existence where all this is no longer my concern and is all gone and forgotten about is all I personally hope for, I just want to be at peace, and for me peace could only lie in being permanently unconscious for all eternity. Non-existence is the only relief and comfort for me, I'd always prefer to not exist than prolong the suffering all for the sake of it just to be tortured by old age in an existence I never wished for in the first place, I wish I never suffered in this existence, never existing would have saved me from all this suffering.

 

[FuneralCry]

For me suicide is suffering prevention.
For me personally suicide truly would be suffering prevention, it'd be the way for me to find safety from suffering in this existence so meaningless, cruel and undesirable, I'd always prefer to die than suffer in this existence, all I wish and hope for is some peace and for me peace could only lie in never suffering again. For me suicide would prevent suffering as after all if I don't exist I cannot suffer in any way and all is finally gone for me instead, there cannot be any suffering in non-existence which is why it's all I hope for yet there is no limit as to how much one can be tormented in this existence and existing can easily get way more unbearable, it's all just so terrible and cruel.

I see so much cruelty in how painless death is denied even know to me existing truly is just suffering all for the sake of it that just leads to decay and death anyway, I find it so horrific how existence causes all this endless suffering and harm. I find it deeply undesirable to be conscious in this existence capable of suffering to unlimited amounts, personally I just want peace, I want to never exist again, I'd always prefer to prevent suffering than prolong it just to end up way more tormented. Existence to me really was always the most terrible mistake, all I've ever hoped for is to painlessly cease existing and forget about it all, I just want the peace of an eternal, dreamless sleep where there is finally no more pain, no more suffering, I wish for a painless death to save me from all suffering in an existence I never would have chosen.

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it horrific how euthanasia is denied.
I'll always find it horrific how euthanasia is denied even know existence causes endless amounts of harm and suffering, there's just so much cruelty in this terrible, torturous existence, all I personally hope for is to die in peace and forget about it all. Painless death needs to be accessible as after all not everyone wants to exist, not everyone sees existence as desirable, there's no limit as to how unbearable the torture of existence can get yet there are no disadvantages to being permanently unconscious unable to suffer in any way at all.

I wish for a painless death so I can find safety from suffering in this existence I never would have chose that I was never meant for, just being conscious is a futile, tiring burden to me, personally I only wish for peace from the torturous yet so unnecessary burden of existence that just creates suffering there was never a need for.

I personally only hope for non-existence and it's just so painful how I cannot just choose to simply cease existing in peace to save myself from all future suffering in this existence I always saw as a terrible mistake. To me existing means suffering and to die means to never suffer again, in an existence so cruel and meaningless death truly would be the only relief for me, I wish to simply free myself from the burden of existence without any risks of ending up in way worse agony from trying to die going wrong, it terrifies me how trying to die can lead to way worse suffering, I just want to never suffer again than suffer way more all for the sake of it, I'm always so tired of suffering in this existence I'd never wish for.

 

[FuneralCry]

Wish I could erase my existence.
I'm always wishing to erase my existence, I want it to be like I never suffered at all, I just want all to be finally gone and forgotten about for me, I'm always so tired of suffering in this cruel, meaningless existence I never would have chosen, I just want some peace from all the suffering and for me peace could only lie in never existing again. I see existence as such a terrible, tragic mistake that just causes so much harm and is so cruel, there's so much cruelty in existing all for the sake of it which is why I just wish to be gone as I have no interest in suffering in this existence but rather I just want some peace instead, I've suffered for so long and more than anything I wish I never suffered at all, I never should have been forced into this existence.

This existence never should have been imposed, in this existence so cruel and torturous the only peace for me could lie in never existing again, being able to erase my existence would solve eveything for me as all I wish for is to be permanently unconscious, I wish to be permanently unable to suffer, simply just existing is so tiring to me and brings me so much pain, I've always found it painful to suffer in this existence I was never meant for and I'd never wish for under any circumstance. In fact to me existence just feels like nothing but suffering with no limit as to how much one can suffer, what terrifies me is how the suffering can continue for so long, I've always wished for peace from all this, I just wish to permanently disappear and forget about this existence, for me existence itself will always be the problem and it feels like I've suffered so much for so long, I'm always wishing to erase my existence.

 

[FuneralCry]

Only finding relief in death
For me personally the only relief truly could only ever lie in death, the only relief for me lies in permanent non-existence where there is no more pain, no more suffering and all is finally gone. To me existence truly was always the most terrible, torturous mistake that I never would have chosen and never would have wished for, only in death can I find peace, relief and safety from all suffering which is why it's all I hope for, ceasing to exist truly is always preferable for me than being trapped in this cruel, meaningless existence that just causes suffering all for the sake of it where I'm hoping and wishing to be gone.

I've only ever hoped for the relief that non-existence can bring me and it's all I'll wish for as long as I suffer in this existence, I truly was never meant for any of this, I'd be so relieved to die if it means I finally get to be permanently unconscious. In an existence where there's all this terrible cruelty non-existence truly is all that feels positive to me and what is so horrible is how existing can so easily get way more unbearable than it already is. To me existing truly is nothing but suffering and all I hope for is to never suffer again, I'm so tired of suffering in this cruel, meaningless existence and it's tiredness that only ceasing to exist can take away for me, I'll only find relief once I no longer exist, I just wish for all the suffering to be gone, I've suffered so much for so long in this existence that just brought me pain, I'll always find it painful to exist, only in non-existence will the pain of existing go away for me which is why it's all I wish and hope for.

 

[FuneralCry]

I was never meant for something as cruel as existence.
I truly was never meant for any of this, I was never meant to suffer in this cruel, torturous existence and it brings me so much pain how I cannot just simply have the option to die in peace even know existing really is just pointless, unnecessary suffering all for the sake of it. There's so much cruelty in existing it's all just so terrible to me, I wish I could just die painlessly and forget about this existence I was never meant for that just caused harm that I always found deeply undesirable but of course the suffering just continues instead with me just hoping and wishing to be gone.

I'm always so tired of suffering in this existence I never would have chose and I find it tiring to simply exist as well as not being meant for existence I'd never wish for any of this, I'd never wish for the cruel, futile burden of human existence that just creates problems and so much pain there was never a need for at all. I was never meant to exist in this reality where there's all this suffering but rather I'm just meant for nothingness, I'm only meant for the peace of an eternal, dreamless sleep where all is finally forgotten about. Only in non-existence will I be unable to suffer which is why it's all I'll ever wish for, there's just so much suffering in this existence and I fear what lies ahead, I always find if dreadful to be conscious in this existence, to me existence truly is the problem, existence will always feel like a mistake to me that just brings suffering, I never should have suffered at all and never existing at all would have saved me from all this suffering, non-existence truly is all I see as desirable.

 

[SchizoGymnast]

Good to see you FC! You've grown on me.:)

 

[FuneralCry]

Existence just causes so much harm.
And this is why I only hope and wish for death as after all, only in non-existence will I be unable to suffer, only non-existence can bring me peace from this cruel, harmful existence where there's all this suffering all for the sake of it. To me existence will always be the problem, I see existence as the most horrific mistake that just harms existing beings, it causes them to suffer until death takes away all for them anyway, there's so much cruelty in existence, it's all just so terrible. I'd never wish for something as harmful as existence that just causes all this endless suffering with no limit as to how much agony one can feel but rather I just hope to never exist again, it's so horrific to me how existence causes all this agony and torture.

I wish for death as only then will I be safe from all suffering and harm in this existence I always saw as a mistake, the amount of suffering this existence causes is endless, there's just so much suffering in this torturous existence that always feels so hopeless to me, I find it painful to simply be conscious in this existence I was never meant for and never would have chose, what terrifies me is how the suffering can continue for so long, I'll always see existence as something so harmful. I'll always find it dreadful to exist in this reality where there's all this endless suffering, to me existence truly is the most terrible tragedy, existence itself will always be the problem to me as it's the source of all suffering after all causing so much torment all for the sake of it, It's horrifying to me how one is capable of being tormented to such unlimited extreme extents and existing can very easily get way more unbearable, I'd never wish for any of this, no matter what only non-existence could ever be desirable to me.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existence will always be the problem to me.
No matter what the problem for me will always lie in existence itself as after all it's the source of all suffering and ultimate cause of all that torments existing beings. I'll always find it so dreadful and terrible to exist, all I hope for is to die in peace and never suffer in this existence ever again, personally I see no value in existing but rather I find it a burden to exist.

I find it so burdensome to be conscious and aware capable of suffering to unlimited amounts, I'm always so tired of being trapped in this existence suffering all for the sake of it. I just hope and wish for death which is the only relief for me, I wish to never suffer ever again and I'd always prefer to not exist, I'd always prefer to be permanently at peace from this existence that only ever caused me to suffer, simply just existing is so undesirable to me.

I'd never wish to exist and I wish I could erase my existence so it's like I never suffered at all, existence truly will always be the problem for me and I was never meant for any of this, I never should have been forced into this cruel, torturous existence where there is all this suffering all for the sake of it with no limit as to how much agony one can feel. As long as I exist I'll only ever hope for death, only ceasing to exist can solve everything for me as after all if I don't exist I cannot suffer in any way, peace for me could only lie in never existing again where I'm finally free from what I see as the problem, I'm always so tired of suffering in this existence I just saw as a terrible mistake in the first place.

 

[FuneralCry]

Death truly is the only relief for me personally.
For me the only relief truly could only ever lie in never suffering again, I just want peace from all the suffering in this cruel, futile existence I never would have chose, no matter what existence will always be something so dreadful to me, I'd never wish to exist but rather I just wish to cease existing where I'm permanently safe from all harm and suffering. It's just so terrible to me how existing causes all this suffering all for the sake of it, all I hope and wish for is to never exist again but of course all the suffering just continues instead, for me death truly is always preferable to suffering in this existence I always saw as a mistake, to me existence is something that just causes harm, it tortures existing beings all for the sake of it until they die anyway.

I truly would never wish for any of this suffering, to me it'll always feel so terrible and hopeless to exist which is why death is the only relief for me as after all only in death will I be safe from all harm and suffering. There's no limit as to how unbearable this existence can get that I always saw as so futile in the first place and was completely unnececessary yet there's no suffering in non-existence, only non-existence can bring me the peace, relief and safety from suffering I search for. I only wish to never suffer ever again, I find it so painful and tiring to sinply be conscious, to me existence is a burden that just causes so much suffering, I find it so burdensome to have to experience anything at all. Personally I just wish for death, ony death can save me from suffering, I wish for death to save me from the futile, torturous burden of human existence, I'd never wish to exist no matter what.

 

[FuneralCry]

Never wishing to get old.
No matter what I'd never wish for the torture and agony of reaching an very old age, the thought of reaching that is so horrific to me, personally I just have no interest in the futile and torturous burden of human existence that just leads to decay and death anyway. I'd rather escape from and prevent suffering by ceasing to exist than prolong it just to end up way more tormented and what terrifies me about existence is that there is no limit as to how unbearable it can get, to me existence itself will always be the problem, I'd never wish to suffer in this existence but rather I just wish to never exist again, I personally just have no interest in suffering in this existence as well.

I see nothing desirable about being tormented in this meaningless existence destined for the extreme torture of old age, old age just sounds horrifying to me, it's just terrible, unnecessary suffering all for no reason and no purpose, I personally only hope for death as only when I no longer exist will I be unable to suffer, only in non-existence will the suffering go away for me. I find it painful just to be conscious and what is so horrible to me is how I cannot just have the option to just die in peace even know I'd never wish for any of this suffering, existence just feels like a mistake to me. I wish I stayed permanently unaware of something so harmful and cruel as existence more than anything, I'll always find it dreadful to exist, I'll always have so much dread for what lies ahead, for me existence was always deeply undesirable in every way possible, I'd never wish to exist and under no circumstances would I wish to face the horrific suffering of old age.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing is just waiting to die anyway.
No matter what I'll always see existing as just waiting to die anyway and that is a reason as to why it's so terrible to me how I cannot just have the option to simply die in peace as I'm just going to die anyway and if I'm dead then nothing can matter to me and all will be gone and that's all inevitable anyway. Personally I'd prefer to die sooner to escape from and prevent pointless, meaningless suffering in this existence that just leads to decay and death anyway, it's just so cruel to me how there's no acceptance towards preferring to not exist over waiting to die anyway.

I have no interest in suffering in this existence, I see no value in existence but rather I just see it as a futile and torturous burden to exist and it's a burden that just causes harm all for the sake of it. I've personally only ever wished for death, I've never seen a point to existence but rather I just saw existence as a terrible mistake that just brings suffering and I'd rather not exist than prolong suffering. If I'm permanently unconscious then I cannot suffer in any way and this existence is no longer my concern which is all that's ideal to me, I just want to fall into an eternal, dreamless sleep and never suffer ever again, personally I'd rather suffer for as little as possible than suffer all for the sake of it just to be tormented by old age in this existence I always saw as so futile anyway. But of course more than anything I wish I was never forced into existence, I never should have existed at all, I'll personally always see it as so terrible to suffer in this existence.

 

[FuneralCry]

Wish this existence was never imposed.
More than anything I wish this existence was never imposed, I'd always prefer to cease existing but really I never should have suffered at all, I just wish I was never forced into this torturous, meaningless existence that always felt like a mistake, to me existing will always be deeply undesirable. I just see it as suffering all for the sake of it and what is so terrible and cruel to me is how I cannot just have the option to simply cease existing in peace even know I'd never wish to exist at all. I'm so tired of suffering in this existence, I'll always see existence as a harmful, cruel unnecessary imposition which just creates pain and suffering there was never a need for with no limit as to how much agony one can feel and I just don't wish to suffer. I don't see any point and value to suffering rather I just wish for permanent non-existence where all is finally gone and forgotten about for me.

I wish I never suffered in this existence as after all there are no disadvantages to not suffering at all, never existing would had saved me from all this suffering in this existence I was never meant for and never would have chose. Only never existing is truly ideal to me, I'd prefer to stay permanently unconscious of this existence no matter what, as long as I exist I'll only ever hope and wish for death in fact it's all I wish for, only non-existence can personally bring me peace. In an existence so cruel and torturous where there's all this suffering all for no reason and no purpose but to torture existing beings death truly would be the only relief for me, I wish I never suffered, I wish this existence was never imposed, something as harmful and futile as existence is something I'd prefer to avoid no matter what.

 

[FuneralCry]

Only hoping for eternal sleep.
Eternal sleep truly is all I've ever hoped and wished for, I just wish to never suffer again, to me it sounds so peaceful to finally sleep for all eternity, in an existence so cruel and torturous eternal sleep truly is all that can bring me peace. I just want all to be forgotten about for me, I'd always prefer to sleep permanently as after all if I'm gone then I cannot suffer in any way, there is no suffering in non-existence yet to me existing truly does feel like nothing but suffering, I'm always so tired of suffering in this existence and it's tiredness that only ceasing to exist can take away for me.

I've always felt so tired of it all, personally I just want permanent relief and peace from this existence that only ever caused me to suffer, eternal sleep truly would solve everything for me as after all it'd remove what I see as the true problem which is existence itself and without existence there cannot be any suffering. All I wish and hope for is to never suffer again, dreamless eternal sleep where there is no more pain, no more suffering truly is all I've ever hoped for, for me ceasing to exist truly is always preferable, I have no interest in suffering in this existence and I find it so deeply undesirable to exist in general. I just wish for an eternal sleep where all is gone for me, all I hope for is to never wake again, only non-existence could ever be desirable to me, I could personally never see any value to suffering in this cruel, futile existence rather existence is something I'd prefer to avoid no matter what.

 

[FuneralCry]

Never wishing to experience anything at all.
And this is certainly a reason as to why I only wish for non-existence as I just don't wish to experience anything at all, instead I just want all to be gone for me, I find it a burden to be conscious and aware experiencing anything at all. Personally I'll always find it so burdensome to simply exist and it's a burden that has only ever caysed me to suffer, I just find existing to be unnecessary as well, it just creates pain and problems there was never a need for with no limit as to how much one can suffer and I'd never wish to suffer in this existence but rather I just wish for death.

I just find it so dreadful how I had to exist in the first place, to me existence truly is the most cruel, futile imposition, I'm so tired of being conscious in this existence where I'm just waiting around to die anyway, no matter what I'd prefer to stay permanently unaware of something as torturous as existence, I'd never wish to experience anything at all and I never would do under any circumstance. I just want all to be finally gone for me with no more pain and no more suffering, I'd always prefer to die which is why it feels so cruel to me how I cannot just have the option to painlessly cease existing in peace but really I wish I could erase my existence so it's like I never suffered at all, existing truly is just only suffering to me, it just feels like a mistake, I'm always so tired of suffering in this existence I never would have chosen that only ever caused me to suffer.

 

[ctemourge]

welcome back!
also i completely resonate. im jealous of anyone who has access to painless suicide:(

 

[FuneralCry]

Existence will always be the most horrific, terrible tragedy to me.
No matter what I truly will always see existence as the most horrific, terrible tragedy that just caused endless amounts of suffering and harm, I'd never wish for this existence, I'd always prefer to die than suffer in this existence where there's all this terrible cruelty all for the sake of it, only in non-existence will I be permanently safe from all suffering which is why it's all I wish for.

I see this world as such a horrific place where existing beings are tormented endlessly with no limit as to how much agony one can feel, existence to me just feels like a mistake, an unnecessary tragic mistake that just torments existing beings until death takes away all for them anyway and what is so terrifying is how this existence can easily get way more unbearable causing way more torture and agony as a result. I'll always see existence as the most terrible tragedy, existence itself will always feel like the problem to me as after all it's the source of all suffering, I see nothing desirable about suffering in this existence, all I hope for is to die in peace and forget about it all, personally I'd always prefer to cease existing than suffer in this cruel, torturous existence just to end up in a situation of way worse torment. It terrifies me how a human can exist for so long just to die in agony from old age, existence is just something so terrible and dreadful to me, I'd never wish for it no matter what, only non-existence can bring me the relief I search for and it's all I'll hope for as long as I exist but more than anything I wish I never suffered in this existence, something as harmful and painful as existence is something I'd prefer to stay permanently unconscious of no matter what.