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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
Existence is so cruel and meaningless.
To me that's the way existence truly is, existence is ultimately so meaningless yet so immensely cruel and I'd personally always prefer to not exist at all. I find it so terrible how there's all this endless cruelty and pointless pain and suffering just for one to decay and die anyway, I wish I never suffered in this existence in the first place.

To me existence is such a futile, meaningless struggle that I'd never wish for no matter what and I wish I stayed unaware more than anything, only never existing at all is truly ideal to me as if I never existed I wouldn't be able to suffer in any way and I don't wish to suffer at all. I know I'm not meant for this cruel, meaningless existence that just causes all for this torment and pain all for the sake of it and what is so painful is how there is no acceptance towards preferring to not exist.
It causes so much pain how I cannot access a death like never waking again to eternally escape from the terrible futile torment of existing on my own terms even know existing was so meaningless anyway with there being no disadvantages to being unable to suffer at all, existence truly does just cause me suffering and I'm so tired of it, no matter what I'll always be so tired of existing.
 
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H

hushpuppi-savastano

Member
Aug 20, 2024
31
Just ignore this, this is just a thread to write down how I feel, I don't want to upset anyone, I'm just suffering
1) I'm not meant for existing
This is the way I've always felt, I'm not meant for something as cruel, futile and torturous as having the ability to exist, human existence has always been such a burden to me, it's a terrible and harmful burden that causes nothing but me pain. It's always been a struggle existing as a conscious being destined to suffer endlessly with no limit as to how much agony I can feel, it's just not for me, I never should have existed at all and more than anything I wish I never did.

Only the peace that non-existence can bring appeals to me, I wish to die but only never existing is true perfection, it'd be such a relief for me to die as this existence I was never meant for just torments me and I find it so hellish how painless suicide methods aren't accessible for me. if I could die painlessly I'd be long gone from this existence I was never meant for, only death can bring me peace. In my case I wouldn't want to exist under any circumstance as what I have a problem with is existence itself, I'm just not meant for it and I find it tragic how I have to exist when instead I could be at peace for all eternity, my existence is just meaningless suffering all for no reason and no purpose, I'm not meant to suffer, I'm only meant for the peace of eternal nothingness.
nice but i don't see a real reason. i'm not judging but i think there are people here who are just attracted to melancholy and poetry and who give a bad image of those who are truly suicidal and actually go through with it because of real unsolvable problems.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
Existence is suffering.
Existing truly is just suffering, all of which is completely unnecessary in the first place and serves no function but to torment existing beings until they die anyway and to me it's just so terrible and tragic how existence causes all this endless suffering all for the sake of it. For me there's so much sadness to suffering in this meaningless existence just waiting to die anyway, I find it to be so torturous to be trapped in this existence just wishing for the peace that only eternal nothingness can bring me, I'll always be so tired of suffering here as I don't wish to suffer in any way.

I only hope to never exist again, under no circumstances would I wish for the torment of existing where there is literally no limit as to how much agony one can feel, to me existing is nothing but suffering and I'll always suffer as long as I exist. For me having the ability to exist is such a cruel, hopeless burden, one that I never would have chose and one that just caused me nothing but pain, it terrifies me how the suffering can continue for so long, I only wish for death to take all this suffering away, I've only ever found comfort in death because I believe it to be the eternal absence of all that causes one to suffer, I only hope to never suffer again.
 
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Steff1337

Steff1337

Autistic and schizophrenic, please be respectful
Jun 21, 2024
659
I'm sorry if it's inappropriate, but I just wanted to thank you for sharing your thoughts in this thread, and being so highly active on the forum. Your contributions are highly valuable.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
Wish for painless method.
What would truly comfort me and bring me so much peace and relief is to have the option of a death like never waking again so that I can finally be unable to suffer for all eternity. Personally I'd only wish for eternal nothingness, I'd never wish for the terrible torment of human existence where one suffers so unnecessarily just to be tortured by old age.

To me existence is deeply undesirable and it's something I'd prefer to avoid, thinking about suffering in this reality for decades longer terrifies me and fills me with so much dread, to me there's just so much pain in how the focus is on prolonging the suffering of humans no matter what with absolutely no acceptance towards the wish to cease existing.

For me suicide would be suffering prevention and the way to find safety from suffering in an existence that caused me nothing but pain that was always so immensley hopeless for me in the first place. It's just so devastating how I cannot have the option of a painless death to free myself from this pain as all I hope for is to never suffer again, all I find comfort in is not existing for all eternity where all is forgotten about for me, I simply wish to sleep and not experience anything at all.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
Fear of existing getting much more unbearable.
What I fear is existence getting way more torturous and unbearable, it's just terrifying to me how there's no limit as to how much agony one can feel with the risk always being there of ending up in way worse suffering. To me existence truly is just an unnecessary harm that causes endless amounts of pain, personally I'd always prefer to not exist as only then will I be at peace from this harmful existence that just causes suffering and I don't wish to suffer in any way, I just want and hope for nothingness.

And what is so terrible to me is how even trying to die can go wrong and lead to way more unbearable agony and torture leaving one trapped in a situation of extreme suffering, the fact that I cannot just choose to painlessly die in a guaranteed way to escape from this torturous existence that only ever caused harm really is so painful, the pain of existing certainly is very real and it's horrific how much pain existence causes, more than anything I wish I never suffered at all.
 
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Myforevercharlie

Myforevercharlie

Global Mod
Feb 13, 2020
3,178
nice but i don't see a real reason. i'm not judging but i think there are people here who are just attracted to melancholy and poetry and who give a bad image of those who are truly suicidal and actually go through with it because of real unsolvable problems.
You are judging. This a pro choice forum. Not everyone here wants to 'go through 'with it.
Hence why we have a recovery section.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
Only hope to never exist again.
All I hope for is to never hurt again, I hope to be free from the terrible and torturous burden of existing as only then will I be unable to suffer and unable to feel pain in this existence that was so meaningless anyway. Personally I don't wish to experience anything at all and I find it painful how I have the ability to, there's so much pain in being trapped in this existence with no limit as to how unbearable the suffering can get. It's so terrible to me to suffer in this immensely cruel existence just waiting to die anyway, I only hope to never exist again, I only find comfort in death as I believe it to be nothing more than an dreamless eternal sleep where there is permanent safety from all the suffering this existence so tragically causes.

I personally find it such a horrific tragedy to be conscious in this existence in the first place, if it's up to me I never would have chosen to exist but sadly I do and all I can hope for now is to never suffer again, peace for me could only ever lie in being eternally unable to suffer.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
The terrible torment of existing.
There truly is so much pain and torment in existing, I know that no matter what I'd never wish to exist, it's so terrible how existence causes all this endless torment with no limit as to how much one can suffer and it truly terrifies me how this pain can continue for so long causing one to suffer so unbearably. In fact to me existence really does cause nothing but suffering and I'm so tired of suffering in this terrible, torturous existence that just caused me pain that I never would have chosen.

All I wish for is death to bring me peace from the agony of existing, I only hope and wish for nothingness, for me personally it'd be a relief to be eternally unable to suffer as the pain of existing is so real and all I feel is so much fear for what lies ahead, I only hope to never exist again but sadly I suffer and the pain of existence just continues, the fact that I cannot easily free myself from the terrible torment of existing truly is so painful.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
Cruelty of existence.
There truly is so much cruelty in existence, in fact existence is endlessly cruel which is so painful and tragic, there really is so much pain in existing and there always will be, pain that only death can bring me peace from. What I find so terrible is how even know existence is so immensley cruel causing all this suffering there's still the absence of the way for me to easily die in peace to escape from the terrible torment of existence, it's just so devastating how I cannot have a death like never waking again to eternally escape from this existence so cruel.

I just hope to not exist as I have no interest in suffering for decades longer in an existence so hopeless that just caused pain just to be tortured and tormented by old age, I'm so tired of suffering and I only hope to never suffer again, existence is just too torturous, too cruel. I only wish for a painless death to prevent all future suffering, only death can bring me peace from the cruelty and futility of suffering in this undesirable existence, I wish it's accepted to not want to suffer in this existence so cruel, I know I'd never wish to exist, I just want and hope for eternal nothingness where all is forgotten about for me.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
I'd personally be relieved to never exist again.
Personally I truly would be relieved to never suffer in this cruel, torturous and painful existence ever again, it'd be relieved to finally cease existing and never be able to experience anything with all forgotten about for me. All that existence has ever caused me is pain, I wish I could just fall asleep eternally and forget about it all but of course I continue to suffer instead and I'm so tired of suffering, I'm so tired of being trapped in this existence with the knowledge that this could potentially continue for much longer just for me to suffer way more unbearably.

It terrifies me how a human can exist for so long in this reality where there is all this endless torment, if I had the option to just painlessly die it'd bring me so much peace and relief, under no circumstances would I wish for the hopeless fate of suffering so unnecessarily for decades just to be tortured and tormented by old age. I'd be relieved to escape from this existence that just causes harm, it'd be such a relief for existence to no longer be my problem and for all to be forgotten about for me instead, only death can bring me peace from an existence filled with pain.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
Was never meant for existing.
I know I was never meant for something as futile, torturous and painful as existing and I find it so dreadful how I had to exist at all, I truly never should have suffered in this existence, instead I should have just stayed permanently unaware. There's so much pain in how I have to exist, I find it painful to simply be awake, to me the existence of life was the most terrible tragedy I was never meant for that just caused me to suffer.

For me only never existing is truly ideal to me, all that I see as perfect is never suffering at all, as well as not being meant for existing I also find existing to be deeply undesirable and unnecessary. I just find it terrible how existence causes all this pointless pain there was never a need for at all, I know I was only meant for nothingness, not to be tormented in an existence I never would have chose without the option to just easily die in peace. I'm always so tired of being trapped in this existence, I'll always find it such a hopeless burden to exist, one that only death can bring me peace from.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
Always so tired.
I'm always so tired of existing and always will be no matter what, for me simply just existing is tiring, it makes me feel tired how I wake again and have to suffer in this existence I never would have chose. For me simply just existing is so undesirable, I personally see no value in suffering in this futile, torturous existence that just causes pain. All I hope for and wish for is to eternally cease existing where all this is forgotten about, it comforts me to think of not existing for all eternity instead of suffering so unnecessarily wishing to never exist again, the kind of tiredness I feel is one that only non-existence can bring me relief from, I've only ever hoped for permanent, dreamless sleep.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
Would never wish to exist.
I know that no matter what under no circumstances would I ever wish to exist, to me simply just existing is deeply undesirable and burdensome, I see existence as a mistake, a terrible tragic mistake that just caused so much suffering and I don't want to suffer in any way, rather all I hope and wish for is to never exist again, there's so much sadness and pain in how I had to exist in the first place.

In my case I've certainly only wished for death, I don't belong in this existence that is so incredibly cruel and futile with no limit as to how much one can suffer. In my case only eternal nothingness is desirable where this hopeless, pointless existence is all forgotten about and I cannot experience anything at all, to me existence is just an unnecessary yet so torturous process of just waiting to die and I personally see no value in this. In fact to me existence is the opposite, I'd rather avoid existence no matter what, I'd never want to exist at all, for me existence itself will always ultimately be the problem that only death can bring me peace from and I've only ever wished for peace from the torment of existing as a conscious being.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
Would only be ideal to permanently sleep.
To me all that would truly be ideal is to sleep for all eternity and the fact that I cannot just choose to permanently sleep truly is so cruel and terrible, there's so much pain in how I still suffer in this existence instead of being eternally unaware, all I've ever wished for is to fall into an eternal, dreamless sleep where this existence that caused me nothing but suffering is no longer my problem and instead all is finally forgotten about for me.

I only hope for nothingness, I only hope to sleep as existing truly is so painful and I don't want to feel any pain rather I just wish to sleep eternally instead, it really would comfort me and bring me so much relief if I had the option to just permanently fall asleep. The only relief for me could ever lie in never existing again, I don't wish to remember anything about this painful, torturous existence rather I just wish to fall asleep eternally and forget about it all. Existence was just a tragic unnecessary mistake to me that I'd never wish for, I only wish for eternal nothingness especially as there is no suffering in being permanently unconscious, it comforts me to think of never being unable to suffer, all I hope for is to never suffer again.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
Existence is the problem to me.
No matter what I'll always see existence as the problem, it truly is so dreadful and torturous for me to suffer in this existence, what I ultimately have a problem with is existence itself, I see it as such a terrible, cruel burden to have the ability to exist and I'd never wish for such, instead I only hope to never exist again. For me existence is the problem as it's the source of all suffering and ultimate cause of all that makes existing beings suffer and personally I don't want to suffer in any way, I just wish for nothingness.

Simply just existing is so tiring to me, I'm so tired of suffering in this existence I was never meant for that just caused me pain. Existence really is just a horrific, tragic mistake to me, it's something I never would have chose no matter what but sadly I exist and I have to suffer as a result of it so now all I can hope for is to painlessly cease existing, only death can solve everything for me, as long as I exist I'll always suffer.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
Existence just caused pain.
Existence truly just does cause pain, all of which is completely unnecessary to me and ultimately pointless in the first place, I find it so terrible and tragic how there is all this endless suffering in this reality and personally I'd certainly never wish to exist, I only hope and wish for nothingness as to me existence is nothing but suffering and I don't wish to suffer in any way, I only hope to never exist again.

No matter what I'd always prefer to avoid the cruelty and torment of being burdened with this existence that can potentially get so torturous way beyond how anyone can imagine it to, to me having the ability to exist is deeply undesirable. It just causes so much suffering there was never a need for at all with no limit as to how much one can suffer, in fact simply just existing is so painful for me. I'm so tired of being trapped in this reality where there is all this endless pain just wishing to never exist but sadly I exist and I suffer so much as a result of it and it truly terrifies me how all this suffering can continue for so long, the fact that I cannot just have the option to easily die in peace to eternally escape from the pain this existence so tragically causes really is so devastating, I only wish to be at true peace from this painful existence.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
The pain of lacking the option to just peacefully die.
The fact that I cannot just have the option to just painlessly die whenever I wish to truly is so painful, there's so much pain in how existence causes all this endless suffering with no limit as to how much one can suffer yet I cannot just choose to eternally escape from this cruel, torturous existence whenever I wish to. To me personally existence is just so undesirable but also such a terrible, tragic mistake, I'd never wish to exist and I just find it so terrible how there's no acceptance towards preferring to not exist than to suffer so unnecessarily just waiting to die anyway in an existence that was just so meaningless in the first place and just caused pointless pain and suffering.

I'd never wish to suffer for decades longer just to be tortured and tormented by old age, in fact the thought of such is so horrific and terrifying to me, I'd always prefer to painlessly die to escape from that fate and the fact that instead of being at peace I continue to suffer trapped in an existence I never would have chose truly is so immensely painful. Having the option to just die in peace would be such a comfort and relief for me, for me the only relief could only ever lie in never existing again, I'd be so relieved to be eternally unable to suffer, all I've ever wished for is permanent peace from this existence that only ever caused me pain.
 
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B

badtothebone

Experienced
Aug 20, 2024
249
Just ignore this, this is just a thread to write down how I feel, I don't want to upset anyone, I'm just suffering
1) I'm not meant for existing
This is the way I've always felt, I'm not meant for something as cruel, futile and torturous as having the ability to exist, human existence has always been such a burden to me, it's a terrible and harmful burden that causes nothing but me pain. It's always been a struggle existing as a conscious being destined to suffer endlessly with no limit as to how much agony I can feel, it's just not for me, I never should have existed at all and more than anything I wish I never did.

Only the peace that non-existence can bring appeals to me, I wish to die but only never existing is true perfection, it'd be such a relief for me to die as this existence I was never meant for just torments me and I find it so hellish how painless suicide methods aren't accessible for me. if I could die painlessly I'd be long gone from this existence I was never meant for, only death can bring me peace. In my case I wouldn't want to exist under any circumstance as what I have a problem with is existence itself, I'm just not meant for it and I find it tragic how I have to exist when instead I could be at peace for all eternity, my existence is just meaningless suffering all for no reason and no purpose, I'm not meant to suffer, I'm only meant for the peace of eternal nothingness.
Someone told me yesterday at work " why your mad your son died, he's at peace" she also said " to leave better than to stay" I didn't understand her last statement but life is difficult and painful. The way I live right now, I think I rather be dead. I can't wait to close my eyes forever.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
Wish for this existence to be permanently forgotten about.
What I wish is for my existence to be permanently forgotten about, I want it to be like I never suffered in this cruel, torturous and painful existence at all and if it's up to me I'd choose to erase my existence, I don't wish for all this unnecessary suffering, I don't wish to be tormented in this meaningless existence, instead I simply hope and wish for nothingness.

I know that I was never meant for this existence that only ever caused pain, I'd always prefer to not exist but really all that would be ideal to me is eternally erasing my existence, I just want to disappear, I wish to never exist again and it would comfort me to know I'd be permanently relieved from all the suffering this existence so tragically causes. To me personally existence was just a terrible, tragic mistake in the first place, I'd never wish to exist and I don't see any value to being burdened with this existence, rather such is so incredibly undesirable and I'd prefer to forget about it no matter what especially as I'll always suffer as long as I exist. Simply just existing causes me to suffer, I find it so painful to be trapped in this existence, all I wish for is to disappear with all finally forgotten about, I don't wish to remember anything about this existence that just caused me suffering, I just want to forget.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
Don't belong in this cruel, torturous existence.
I know that no matter what I could never belong in this existence that just causes nothing but pain and suffering, I'll always see it as so terrible and dreadful to exist here, I know I'm not meant to suffer in this existence but rather I'm only meant for nothingness. I'm only meant to never exist again, all I wish for is an eternal release from the futility and cruelty of existing where there is all this endless torment and suffering, I find it devastating the amount of pain this existence so tragically causes.

There's so much sadness in how I suffer so unnecessarily trapped in an existence I was never meant for that just harmed me, I truly never should have existed, I never should have suffered at all, I should have just stayed eternally unaware of this painful, existence. Having the ability to exist truly does just cause me nothing but pain, existing for me was always so incredibly hopeless, I see it as so hopeless to exist as a conscious being capable of suffering to unlimited amounts, all I wish for is the peace of eternal nonexistence where all is forgotten about.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
Only hoping for some peace.
All I hope and wish for is some peace and for me peace could only ever lie in never suffering in this existence ever again, as long as I exist there could never be any peace in fact to me existence is the exact opposite of such, I find having the ability to exist to be deeply undesirable, torturous and burdensome, there's no peace in the endless suffering and senseless cruelty of existing. For me peace could never lie in the torment of existing as a conscious being where there is literally no limit as to how much agony one can feel in this existence that just caused one to suffer in the first place.

I never would have wanted or chosen existence, rather I just wish for nothingness, I only hope to never suffer again. It'd be such a relief for me to never wake again with existence no longer being my problem, in fact all I've ever found comfort in is eternal nothingness where all is forgotten about, I'm so tired of suffering in this existence I was never meant for, I only hope for peace, I wish for death to bring me true peace from all the terrible torment and pain this existence so tragically causes.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
Existing is just a process of slowly dying.
That truly is how I see existence, it's just a process of slowly dying and waiting around to die all while one decays and deteriorates more as time goes on, suffering so senselessly and unnecessarily in the process.
To me personally existence truly is something so completely hopeless and undesirable, I see no value in being tormented in this meaningless existence that was just so unnecessary in the first place and just caused pain there was never a need for at all. I'll always see eternal non-existence is preferable and for me the less time spent suffering the better but really I wish I never suffered at all, I never would have chose this futile and torturous process of slowly dying that is so endlessly and immensely cruel.

I just wish I never existed at all as only then would I have been eternally unable to suffer, I find it so tragic how I had to suffer so unnecessarily at all in this existence that only ever caused me pain. I only wish for eternal nothingness to bring me peace from this process of slowly dying, it terrifies me and horrifies me how humans can potentially exist for so long just to be tortured by old age in this reality where there is endless potential to suffer, the only relief for me could ever lie in ceasing to exist to escape from this process of slowly dying that was just a terrible, tragic mistake to me in the first place.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
Always so tired of suffering here.
I'll always be so tired of suffering in this existence I was never meant for that only ever caused me so much pain, the kind of tiredness I feel is one that only eternal nothingness can take away and bring me peace from. I just find it so terrible and dreadful to exist, to me existence is such a cruel, torturous burden that just causes nothing but suffering and I simply don't wish to suffer in any way, instead all I wish for is to cease existing and be unconscious for all eternity.

And what is so horrible about existence is that there is no limit as to how torturous it can get yet there's no straightforward way for me to just easily die in peace, personally I'd never wish for existence no matter what and I find it so tiring to simply be awake. In my case I don't wish to experience anything at all rather all I wish is to be permanently at rest, it causes me so much pain how I'm trapped in an existence I feel so tired of and all I feel is dread for what lies ahead, I've already suffered for so long and it terrifies me how the suffering could continue for much longer, all I hope for is to never suffer again, I simply want to sleep for all eternity.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
Personally I'd be relieved to never exist again.
In my case I'd certainly be relieved to never suffer in this existence again, I'd be relieved to cease existing with all finally forgotten about for me, I wish to remember nothing about this terrible, hopeless existence that caused me nothing but pain but rather all I wish for is to forget.

In an existence so cruel, torturous and hopeless death truly is the only comfort for me, I only hope for nothingness, I only wish for eternal sleep to bring me peace. For me the fact that I exist is the cause of my suffering, I suffer from how I was burdened with this existence and under no circumstance would I wish for the torment of having the ability to exist and as long as I exist I'll always suffer. Only death can bring me peace from the pain this existence causes me which is why I'd be so relieved to never exist again, in fact death truly is the only relief for me, I'll always see it as so deeply undesirable to suffer in this existence that is so immensely cruel.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
Only when I'm dead will the pain of existing go away.
I know that no matter what as long as I exist I'll suffer and for me existence is nothing but suffering, only death can bring me peace from the pain this terrible, torturous existence causes. Personally I see existing as deeply undesirable, I'd always prefer to not exist than to be tormented by this meaningless existence just waiting to die anyway, I just don't want to suffer in any way, instead I just wish for nothingness, I wish to never experience anything at all.

I just find it so dreadful to be trapped in this existence with the ability to suffer and feel pain to unlimited extents, it's so horrific to me how there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel as long as they exist here. The pain of existing truly is so immense and endless, in fact existing only ever caused me pain, it's pain that only death can take away, I find it so painful to simply be awake and I never would have chose to exist but sadly I do and I suffer so much as a result of it, all I can hope for now is to never exist again, I wish for the pain of existing to go away and for me to be at peace for all eternity instead.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
Only ceasing to exist can solve everything for me.
I know that no matter what in my case only ceasing to exist can solve everything and bring me relief from this existence that only ever caused me to suffer and I'm so tired of suffering, in fact no matter what I'll always be tired, it's the kind of tiredness only death can take away and bring me peace from.

What I ultimately have a problem with is existence itself, I see it as a problem how I'm conscious and aware trapped in this deeply undesirable existence that just caused pain in the first place with no limit as to how much agony I can feel. I see it as so dreadful and torturous to exist, if it's up to me I'd choose to never wake again as only then will I be unable to suffer in any way and to be free from all suffering is all I've ever wished for, I've only found comfort in death, the only relief for me could ever lie in never existing again.

The fact that I cannot just easily die in peace to eternally escape from this cruel existence I never would have chosen truly does cause me so much pain, all I wish for is an permanent release from this existence, the fact that the suffering could continue for decades longer just for me to be tortured by old age truly terrifies me, under no circumstances would I wish for existence, having the ability to exist will always feel like a problem to me.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
I'd never wish to get old.
I know that under no circumstances would I ever wish to suffer for decades just to be tortured and tormented by old age in this existence so cruel and undesirable, it terrifies me how a human can exist for so long just decaying and deteriorating in this reality where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel. Personally I'd wish to suffer for as little as possible but really I wish I never suffered in the first place, I wish I never became aware of something as deeply undesirable and torturous as existence that just harms existing beings, causing them immense suffering as a result.

I'll always see it as so terrible to exist and it really scares me how this could continue for so long with no straightforward way to just eternally escape from all the torment this existence tragically causes. In my case I've only ever wished to not exist and only ever found comfort in death, the only relief for me could ever lie in being permanently free from this futile yet so cruel process of just waiting to die, to me existence is such a terrible tragedy, the burden of existence has only ever caused me pain. For me personally it'll always feel so hopeless to suffer in this existence, I just want nothingness, I don't want to get old and the thought of reaching such is so horrific to me.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
Existence just causes endless suffering.
To me existence truly does just cause endless suffering, I'll personally always see it as so terrible and hopeless to exist and I'd never wish for the torment of having the ability to exist. The amount of suffering existence causes really is endless and what I find so horrific is how there is literally no limit as to how much one can suffer as long as they exist here, the way I see it existence really does just cause harm, it just harms existing beings and causes them to suffer in existences so meaningless until they die anyway.

For me existence is the problem and more than anything I wish I never existed at all, I find it so tragic how I had to suffer in this existence in the first place that was completely undesirable, unnecessary and only ever brought me pain and there truly is so much pain in existing. I personally only hope to not exist to eternally escape from this existence that is so painful and torturous but of course I continue to suffer instead, under no circumstances would I wish to exist at all which is why it brings me so much suffering how I cannot just easily be free from this existence in peace, I wish for a death like never waking again to bring me peace from all this endless suffering, I only hope for nothingness where all is finally forgotten about.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,183
Wish for all to be forgotten about.
That is all I wish for me, I wish for all to be forgotten about and for me to never suffer again, I'm always so tired of suffering and it feels like I've suffered for such an incredibly long time in this existence that was always so undesirable. For me personally existence was always something so cruel and dreadful that just causes so much pain all for the sake of it, I'd never wish to exist, rather I just wish for all to be forgotten about.

I just wish to be unconscious for all eternity where I cannot suffer anymore and I'm free from the cruelty and futility of having the ability to exist, existence truly did just cause suffering in the first place and I find it so terrible how I had to suffer at all in this existence I was never meant for. I certainly only find comfort in death, all that can bring me peace is to permanently forget about this existence and all the pain it caused me, this existence is never something I'd wish to remember, I just wish for this torturous burden that was always hopeless for me to be all forgotten about, I never should have existed and there's so much sadness in how I had to suffer so unnecessarily at all.
 
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