Story friend may be dating my SA’er

[mittymittens]

i've talked ab this in another post, but i made the mistake of checking their instagrams
context: 3 weeks ago my friend confessed to me he talked about me on call with my ex best friend who SA'ed me last summer and used me as their emotional dump for months even after i stated multiple times to stop because it was making me more depressed and stressed

he told me, she had told him that i was telling everyone she selfharmed

he knows i was affected by her, he knows she sexually assaulted me, he knows she did all what i said above, said she may just be emotional still, but seemed to sympathetic towards me, after i stated what he told me made me cry because i knew she was bad but i thought she changed since i cut her off hoping she change for the better, not get worse by spreading lies ab me

after that day, we just started texting more, but i was always kind of unsure what to think because he seems to think about her highly i guess

but i always sort of ignored it because he is a good friend? i think?? and bought me a 3DS very recently which i know are kinda pricey

anyway to the actual post: i just checked my SA'ers insta bcs i was just suspicious, i checked her profile picture which was mari (a character on omori) and i realized my friends profile picture was hero (a character on omori too)

(basically these characters are canonically are dating ingame)

basically i put two and two together, they are matching pfps on insta, not just that; characters who are dating

i don't know. how to feel about my friend. like this i just want to cry again, why is he excusing her actions, simply calling it just emotional. ok even if she was emotional, that isn't an excuse. if she just didn't SA me or something then i guess i'd be fine with it but i don't know

i really do not know how he can possibly date someone it let alone be friends w someone who hurt his other friend, i get the while picking sides is bad but this is sexual assault. a fucking crime

i don't know what to do, talk to him? say what though??? and what if i risk losing him as a friend, as that happened in the past.

 

[MrDarkness]

I'd just leave your friend, they clearly don't care, they aren't a friend, I hope your able to find new friends, this a shitty situation over all

 

[mittymittens]

I'd just leave your friend, they clearly don't care, they aren't a friend, I hope your able to find new friends, this a shitty situation over all

even if he bought a 3DS for me? i'm like getting hella mixed signals from him and i just invited him to a group chat w friends so idek i made a mistake i think

 

[90starve]

even if he bought a 3DS for me? i'm like getting hella mixed signals from him and i just invited him to a group chat w friends so idek i made a mistake i think

buying you over with material possessions isn't true friendship IMO. it can be, when accompanied by other things like compassion/kindness/respect. if you feel like you're getting constant mixed signals without an explanation, that's when i would typically leave a friendship.

you're free to handle this situation as you wish, but i hope that it all resolves itself without conflict <3

 

[mittymittens]

buying you over with material possessions isn't true friendship IMO. it can be, when accompanied by other things like compassion/kindness/respect. if you feel like you're getting constant mixed signals without an explanation, that's when i would typically leave a friendship.

you're free to handle this situation as you wish, but i hope that it all resolves itself without conflict <3

thank u. i think he bought me the 3DS for my birthday but he never done that before and i remember what he said made me cry (basically him and my SA'er talking ab me and when i asked why he just said idk bored and him confessing that she's kinda spreading rumors about me) maybe he felt bad or something. i remember when i referenced that day, he just got dead silent

 

[MrDarkness]

even if he bought a 3DS for me? i'm like getting hella mixed signals from him and i just invited him to a group chat w friends so idek i made a mistake i think

If you wanna keep being their friend, it's up to you honestly, I'm just saying that it's extremely rude for a friend to be dating the person that sa you

 

[doener11]

you could ask your friend what they think about the person who SA you, and can judge from the response whether they are actually dating. the matching pfps may just be a coincidence. if your friend is infact dating that person, try and convince them to get out of the relationship, and if they dont agree then it might be better to just leave them.

 

[mittymittens]

you could ask your friend what they think about the person who SA you, and can judge from the response whether they are actually dating. the matching pfps may just be a coincidence. if your friend is infact dating that person, try and convince them to get out of the relationship, and if they dont agree then it might be better to just leave them.

i want to but i'm also a idk kinda a believer that people should be friends w whoever they want and i can't and shouldn't say otherwise but ig if said person associates themself with a bad person, idk it also tells me their morals. i don't know how to introduce the convo :( i feel like i can't do much abt it unless i separate myself from him but same time i have some weird attachment to him and i'm learning now recently it's possible for me to be developing feelings for him which is ironic loool