Venting Friend fatigue

[peridot-tears]

I currently have one friend irl, and I've never had a friend more dear to me than her. However, it's becoming clearer to me that she means more to me than I mean to her. I'm just one person she has in a pocket full of people that she could pull out whenever she needs a person to hang with. I can tell by the way she laughs and jokes with her roommates that I will never have what they have. We've been friends since we were 14; they've been friends the past two years. She's outgrown me--I'm the convenience friend--and that's fine. It feels like I don't need to leave behind a goodbye note or explanation text for her anyway. I could probably slip away and she wouldn't notice, and it's probably better this way.
I know codependent friendships are toxic, but I just want someone for me and vice versa; it just sounds so nice to be thought of that much...maybe in my next life though

 

[23421]

people will say different things but i see nothing wrong with codependency as long as there's consent from both parties and a complete understanding of how the dynamic will work. any relationship can fail and turn toxic... it's not a reason to stop trying to get what you want. there are people out there who would be willing to love you the way you want, and accept your love for what it is.

i see myself as someone who only needs one real connection to function, and i'm okay with being like this. i would expect the same from the person i pursue.

 

[TheLastGreySky]

I currently have one friend irl, and I've never had a friend more dear to me than her. However, it's becoming clearer to me that she means more to me than I mean to her. I'm just one person she has in a pocket full of people that she could pull out whenever she needs a person to hang with. I can tell by the way she laughs and jokes with her roommates that I will never have what they have. We've been friends since we were 14; they've been friends the past two years. She's outgrown me--I'm the convenience friend--and that's fine. It feels like I don't need to leave behind a goodbye note or explanation text for her anyway. I could probably slip away and she wouldn't notice, and it's probably better this way.
I know codependent friendships are toxic, but I just want someone for me and vice versa; it just sounds so nice to be thought of that much...maybe in my next life though

Respectfully, some friendships get strained and some go away for a while. I don't want you to take it personal but you are at an odd place with your friendship and the more you try to define it the more you're going to overthink it.

I think you need more friends honestly.
I for one tend to get only close to my partners because I found nothing but fake friends in my life. I've always gotten along with women a lot better than men to begin with, but women only tend to be my friends if they want me, and I think you've spent so much time with that one friend that they've kind of become a crutch. I know it might be weird at first but I would recommend posting on like a friend group on Facebook just to make more friends.

You're free to do whatever you like I for one and contemplating CTB over my kids so I'm not wanting to dictate what is right or wrong, I just wish you didn't feel so alone.

 

[peridot-tears]

Respectfully, some friendships get strained and some go away for a while. I don't want you to take it personal but you are at an odd place with your friendship and the more you try to define it the more you're going to overthink it.

I think you need more friends honestly.

Yeah, I know. The problem is that I'm extremely socially awkward and have no emotional/mental energy to participate in new third space activities (group sports, ttgs, clubs, etc) atm, so I'm sort of at a loss to meet people in a friendly sense. Do appreciate the reply though

 

[TheLastGreySky]

Yeah, I know. The problem is that I'm extremely socially awkward and have no emotional/mental energy to participate in new third space activities (group sports, ttgs, clubs, etc) atm, so I'm sort of at a loss to meet people in a friendly sense. Do appreciate the reply though

Well if you want to be my friend you can message me anytime. The only things I need you to know is I do have a girlfriend and I may eventually CTB.
Other than that I'm into everything from nature and working out to anime so, basically typical ADHD person lol

 

[doneforlife]

Well if you want to be my friend you can message me anytime. The only things I need you to know is I do have a girlfriend and I may eventually CTB.
Other than that I'm into everything from nature and working out to anime so, basically typical ADHD person lol

You seem so understanding! Mind if I ask why are you contemplating?

 

[TheLastGreySky]

You seem so understanding! Mind if I ask why are you contemplating?

My kids are in fostercare, and because I'm a felon they want to terminate my rights and their mom who got them put in foster care because she got addicted to drugs after we split... Just voluntarily walked away from the case entirely. And they're still basically telling me stuff like my kids don't want me in their lives. I have paid thousands of dollars and they are legitimately making up lies at this point and I don't know what to do, I just know without my babies I ain't got no reason to be in this world. Sorry if TMI

 

[doneforlife]

My kids are in fostercare, and because I'm a felon they want to terminate my rights and their mom who got them put in foster care because she got addicted to drugs after we split... Just voluntarily walked away from the case entirely. And they're still basically telling me stuff like my kids don't want me in their lives. I have paid thousands of dollars and they are legitimately making up lies at this point and I don't know what to do, I just know without my babies I ain't got no reason to be in this world. Sorry if TMI

Sorry to hear that !. I hope things get better for you...

 

[Elsie]

I hope one day u have someone that think special of you n you alone... For now, here some huggies (⁠づ⁠｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡⁠)⁠づ

 

[Meimi18]

Yeah I get that, it really sucks
Sometimes you just wanna be someone's favourite person when you're only an optional side dish

 

[katara]

This reminds me of my old friend! She was my only friend but she had others and only hung out with me when her other friends were in class. I was really depressed about that and what u said reminded me of her. I liked her a lot but it sucked that she would only hang out with me when she had nobody else. Eventually I moved and she forgot about me. Stuff like that will always make me sad, never being anyone's first choice

 

[Wolf Girl]

I understand how you feel and this is the reason I decided to try to find a life partner, so I could be someone's #1 person and not have to worry about people who only kind of like me. That hasn't worked out in my favor so far, but I am happier just going through a new guy every couple weeks than I was trying to feel seen and chosen by friends who didn't really like me.