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SchizoPolyGymnast

SchizoPolyGymnast

Elementalist
May 28, 2024
823
Okay, so I've never used drugs or gotten drunk in my life but I have always been fascinated by opiates, since I was 17 and overdose by fentanyl has always been my favorite suicide method. I read an article by Maia Svalavitz about how opioids give the user a primal sensation of love and warmth and total okay-ness, and how many people who used opioids knew from a very early age that they were "not OK." I have recently started having dreams about fentanyl and low-key craving it. Anyone else have drug dreams even without use? Anyone else have dreams about their own suicide attempt?
 
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chaosdrifter

chaosdrifter

pirate without pronouns but anxiety
Mar 20, 2024
69
i've never dreamed about opioids (or at least not that i could remember) but i get the fascination and the cravings! i have few experience with tilidine (TW cause i'm talking about positive effects it had on me while i don't wanna idealize them). once i took tilidine after an attempt for an appointment with a therapist the next day to look ok and it really felt so nice and warm (i think it was the best i've ever felt after an attempt)
 
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SchizoPolyGymnast

SchizoPolyGymnast

Elementalist
May 28, 2024
823
I just want to be warm and safe. I feel like I can't get that anywhere
 
tfnb

tfnb

Member
May 29, 2023
73
I've been thinking a lot about fentanyl. I want to just go to sleep and not wake up, and I think that fentanyl is such a powerful drug that in the right dosage it might be able to achieve that. My problem is that I'm 6 foot 5 and over 300lbs of construction worker. I've lost 40.lbs the last month and I'm still over 300. Dosages required for most people are inadequate for me with basically anything I've ever taken. That makes me leery of an overdose as I don't want to wake up after and deal with the consequences, which would be painful and life altering. Im not talking about the drug.
 
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rotciv

rotciv

Something In The Way
Mar 25, 2023
631
I also had never used opiates/opioids until recently, I'm using nitazenes daily now to control my chronic pain but at first you feel good and euphoric with very low doses but then your body get used to it and increases tolerance but still feeling good on them, I know I'm going to die from them one day and I don't care. But if I tried now intentionally I would panic, I almost went into an unintentional overdose and I had to make a lot of effort not to fall asleep and I even vomited, so I don't think I'm ready yet but if they kill me while I'm sleeping it would maybe be ideal.
 
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