• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
Lilmeowssi

Lilmeowssi

I just want peace
Sep 6, 2019
77
Hey~

I am writing this post in order not to feel so damn alone with my problems anymore.
I feel soooo helpless right now. I don't want to live but I am too much of a coward to just go die.
The last few months have been very nice for me. I got a bf and he made me feel very happy. Thought maybe these thoughts about suicide wouldn't come back now that I'm so "happy".
And then they just came back.
I can't concentrate nor sleep well anymore. I really just want to die and if I wouldn't be such a stupid coward then I would be long gone.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: justanotherstar, botanormal, Desi and 3 others
G

Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,015
I'm sorry to hear you're struggling so much. You're not a coward. Living and dying are both scary.
 
  • Love
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Good4Nothing, Lilmeowssi, botanormal and 1 other person
D

Desi

Student
Aug 16, 2019
118
If that's any help, I feel just like you. Ctb is mindblowingly hard but keeping on living and suffering is very scary. We're all caught between a rock and a hard place.
you're not a coward, it's hard for everybody, really.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Lilmeowssi, Ghost2211, Good4Nothing and 1 other person
botanormal

botanormal

Mage
Nov 9, 2020
565
Sometimes even things that are supposed to make us 'happy' aren't enough to stop these feelings. Suicidal thoughts are complicated, even somebody who has the 'perfect' life can get them, and although it does suck, it is completely valid, and doesn't make you stupid nor a coward. It just makes you human. I'm sorry you feel so helpless right now, I really hope things will turn out the way you want them to. You're not alone, okay? We're all here with you, so if you ever need to talk don't feel bad about reaching out. Good luck with everything. :heart:
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Lilmeowssi and Ghost2211
A

AutoTap

Elementalist
Nov 11, 2020
885
If it helps I also feel hopeless and miserable
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Lilmeowssi and botanormal
justanotherstar

justanotherstar

Life: you can’t fire me, I quit.
Nov 23, 2020
345
I'm glad you posted. You are not alone. Keep talking
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Lilmeowssi and botanormal

Similar threads

suudo
Replies
4
Views
269
Suicide Discussion
InevitableDeath
InevitableDeath
struggles_inc
Replies
2
Views
220
Suicide Discussion
Captive_Mind515
Captive_Mind515
cylus46
Replies
2
Views
215
Suicide Discussion
cylus46
cylus46
fatassrat
Replies
1
Views
187
Suicide Discussion
a4001
a4001
Loonarfalls
Replies
0
Views
126
Suicide Discussion
Loonarfalls
Loonarfalls